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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to spend £100 on our childrens christmas presents this year?

78 replies

messagetoyourudy · 19/12/2011 13:11

My DH and I don't have alot of spare cash, and this year I have saved for christmas every month. I did it so that we could have a guilt free christmas without having to worry about going into an overdraft or using credit cards.

Last night I got out all the kids christmas stuff and my DH thinks I am spoiling the kids, giving them too much stuff. The £100 each includes all their stocking bits (so about £40 for stockings and £50+ on their presents from us.)

Alot of it I bought in the sainsburys half price toy sale or 2nd hand from e.bay, I figure I have saved for it and budgeted for it. It is more than we would normally spend but it is not excessive, and nowhere near what I know other people may spend. They are 5 and 7 so I figure enjoy the next few years before they stop beleiving.

He wants me to not give them so much and keep it back for their birthdays. I think he is being mean.

OP posts:

Chestnutx3 · 19/12/2011 19:05

My DH does the same to me each year. He was brought up just getting one present + stocking presents. Only stocking presents could be opened before lunch! His family are not generous with presents mine are.

I have spent much more than £100 but probably as a percentage of our income far far less than you.

These DH's should be grateful that we have done all the thinking and all the shopping rather than whinge about money they have that are spent on the children.

DH will question the food budget too, he nearly fainted at the cost of a turkey!

So tempted to say as you obviously can do a better job you can do all the present & food shopping next year. I'm afraid we would be eating a £2 chicken with value baked beans!

flyingspaghettimonster · 19/12/2011 19:06

I think it is fine and a perfectly reasonable amount to have spent on Christmas over a year of saving. Your husband would hate me, we are also on a tight budget most of the time, so I sell on ebay then use the paypal money to buy gifts over the year. Only I totally forgot how much stuff was put away and figured out that actually I have ended up overbuying significantly. Really significantly. It wouldn't be fun if I gave them these gifts for Christmas as they would be overwhelmed. I suck at 'keeping it small scale'. This year I actually told my husband 'I'm just going to get some books and a few board games because they never play with all the toys and excess stuff' - somehow I ended up with almost a shop-worth of playmobil, barbies, transformers etc :-(

mumnotmachine · 19/12/2011 19:15

Youve always been excessive though FSM for as long as Ive "known" you!!

But no-one has the right to tell anybody what they should or shouldnt spend

racingheart · 19/12/2011 19:18

YANBU. You saved in advance, so you can spend the money on whatever you like. They will love their presents and you are being generous but not getting into debt. I think that's a brilliant example to set at Christmas.

natation · 19/12/2011 19:19

£100 each is not mega money, but it's not insignificant either and if you don't have a lot of spare cash at the moment, then your dh might have a point. If you remove say £20 worth of presents each and keep them for birthdays, do you think it will really mean your children enjoy Christmas any less?

Our children get one big present from us usually, then presents from relatives, then maybe a DVD or book or something small in their stockings with some chocolates. As there are 4 of them, all together I find what they get more than enough.

adamscott · 29/10/2012 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Mrsjay · 29/10/2012 12:39

sometimes toys especially if you have got int he sales looks like they have got loads and too much but what you have spent and what you have got is fab he is just being a meany gri9nch ypu won't spoil them stuff and things don't spoil children imo,

freddiefrog · 29/10/2012 12:43

YANBU.

I don't think it's particularly excessive and if you've saved for it you're not getting into debt with it.

We spend around the same. DD2 is getting a bike, not a clue about DD1 yet though, then stockings and a few other bits (we usually buy a few books and board games).

Teabagtights · 29/10/2012 12:46

I dont think that is too much at all.

I have older children now, but when they were that age the eldest (five years difference) had £200 and the youngest £150.00 as they got older the amount grew.

I was the only one that bought for them though, they had nothing else from relatives. They always had 10 presents each.

Give them the presents and tell the grumpy one to go do one.

oohlaalaa · 29/10/2012 12:48

If you've saved for it so be it.

We have a baby, and I'll be spending £10. I'd rather have some heating in the house and a holiday next year.

I'd always thought about £30-40 each for Christmas, unless it's a new bike. Our parents never spent much on Christmas presents, as they couldn't afford to, but they were always nice thoughtful gifts. None of us are materialistic, so perhaps it wasn't a bad thing.

5Foot5 · 29/10/2012 12:52

Well done you for finding those bargains and saving up and getting the things when you can afford them. I don't think YABU at all and I understand entirely what you mean about trying to have "special" Christmasses while they are the right age to really enjoy it.

cheekydevil · 29/10/2012 12:54

Errr, I know it's halloween but this is a zombie [hconfused]

freddiefrog · 29/10/2012 13:01

Oops, I didn't notice

Waitingforastartofall · 29/10/2012 13:03

YANBU, you have saved for it. I also have spent between 100-150 but ive been buying throughout the year and earning vouchers by doing surveys. Ive bought more presents than last year but ive worked hard to do it so i dont feel guilty. dp is merrily going along with me because it means he doesnt have to shop.

ZeldaUpNorth · 29/10/2012 13:09

I had £230 saved up for my 3 girls' christmas prezzies. Got everything in for them except stocking stuff, which i will get a little bit of each week (choc coins/pencils etc) But i'm sure i will be persuaded to buy more as the weeks go on.

What i mean is if we were to have no money for the rest of the year, then they will be happy with what i've got them, anything else is a bonus :)

HappyMummyOfOne · 29/10/2012 13:25

Its upto the individual what they spend, who cares as long as they are not getting into debt or doing without heating.

Its very mixed on here, some believe in anything more than a satsuma is spoiling them and others love a huge christmas. You do what is right for your family, its your DH you need to agree with not us. I dont think its excessive in the slightest but others will disagree.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 29/10/2012 13:38

I think we've spent about that much on ours - one big present each plus stocking stuff. Sounds reasonable.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 29/10/2012 13:39

Arrgh I didn't notice this was an old thread. Seen a lot of zombies around lately.

IneedAsockamnesty · 29/10/2012 13:39

i think yanbu and i think you have done very well. i also think he should be saying to you 'well done'.

you have sorted your presant buying without taking any loans inside a budget that looks like the only person saving it effected is you,i think its an entirely reasonable sum to spend each as long as you didnt feel you had to spend that iykwim?

it also sounds like you have put a lot of thought into chosing things and gained pleasure from doing so.

im lucky this year because one of mine is under a year so i have only spent about £20 on him.

but slightly less lucky because one of mine (teenager point blank refusing to even talk to his dad with very good reason) spent several years worth of his own birthday/xmas money on a playstation3 a few months ago that his dad wouldnt let him bring home and despite most of the games and at least £50 of the cost of the actual console coming from his pocket money paid by me not his dad,his dad wont let anybody collect it for him so he can have it at his actual house(the one he lives in) and its upset him so much that ive decided to buy him one for here.

cheekydevil · 29/10/2012 13:41

I will say it again Halloween = zombie!

IneedAsockamnesty · 29/10/2012 13:44

cheeky

im having a stupid moment i thought you ment that the smily was a zombie because it was halloween

altinkum · 29/10/2012 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

movamum · 13/12/2012 23:45

I am reassured, as this is about the amount I budget for my older ones and then less for the younger ones. My five are spread in age from 21 to 6, so to keep it fair I buy a main present, and then something to eat, wear and read for each child.

Rudolphstolemycarrots · 14/12/2012 00:09

you could always give them one small gift a day during the hols to ensure that Xmas day isn't one long on going unwrapping event. Saving stuff for the birthdays is a great idea also.

Rudolphstolemycarrots · 14/12/2012 00:11

Actually give it all now. Lots of practical things in there. We are giving swimmming costumes in our santa sacks.

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