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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to spend £100 on our childrens christmas presents this year?

78 replies

messagetoyourudy · 19/12/2011 13:11

My DH and I don't have alot of spare cash, and this year I have saved for christmas every month. I did it so that we could have a guilt free christmas without having to worry about going into an overdraft or using credit cards.

Last night I got out all the kids christmas stuff and my DH thinks I am spoiling the kids, giving them too much stuff. The £100 each includes all their stocking bits (so about £40 for stockings and £50+ on their presents from us.)

Alot of it I bought in the sainsburys half price toy sale or 2nd hand from e.bay, I figure I have saved for it and budgeted for it. It is more than we would normally spend but it is not excessive, and nowhere near what I know other people may spend. They are 5 and 7 so I figure enjoy the next few years before they stop beleiving.

He wants me to not give them so much and keep it back for their birthdays. I think he is being mean.

OP posts:
SardineQueen · 19/12/2011 14:27

The best point on the thread so far

"It doesn't sound like your DH has been arsed to do anything re sorting out Christmas presents. "

So you budgeted
You saved
You shopped around
You bought

And now he's saying it's all wrong?
No I think that as you did all the saving and all the buying you get to give what you have chosen.

Also as to whether £100 per child is too much or not - there is no set rule it all depends. You have bought the presents and paid for them - so fine.

SebastionTheCrab · 19/12/2011 14:28

I set my budget at £100 each child and ended up spending slightly more.
Some people spend a lot less. Some spend a hell of a lot more!
I do agree with a previous poster that £100 doesn't always get you much these days anyway.
If it's what YOU want to do then do it and never feel guilty. You didn't get yourself into debt for it.

Haberdashery · 19/12/2011 14:30

£100 per child seems fine - generous but not crazily so. Since you've paid for it and not gone into debt or spent beyond your means I can't see the harm. I think you've done really well. And it's about what we are spending on our daughter so it seems like a sensible budget to me.

perceptionreality · 19/12/2011 14:30

YANBU - that's about what I've spent on each child. Definitely not excessive these days.

lljkk · 19/12/2011 14:34

I thought OP meant she spent 100 for both children, stockings and all, which is quite reasonable imho... but I know people who would spend a tenth of that, not least because that's all they can afford.

manicinsomniac · 19/12/2011 14:40

I just googled to lookf for the average spend per child at christmas in the UK and got 2 figures - £112.50 and £178.

So, either way, it looks like you're below the average and you've saved and budgeted it for it and haven't gone into debt.

So, unless your husband is aware of a future financial problem that you are no, I don't think you are being unreasonable.

I'm not good with money and haven't recorded what I've bought at all but I would estimate that I've spent at least £60 per child (also have 2 under 10s) and I'm a single parent so that's from only one, relatively average, income!! You're in a 2 parent family so I really wouldn't beat yourself up about it.

HowToLookGoodGlaikit · 19/12/2011 14:42

Ive spent more than that on each of my 3, also without going nto debt or using any credit cards. I think its fine!

1Catherine1 · 19/12/2011 14:43

ChristmasFuckers - I spent about £200 on my Dd. She's only 9 months old, but that's her 1st Xmas so I am excused. So far I am more excited than her

I know the feeling, DD is also only 9mo. I nearly did the same. I was getting majorly carried away and then remembered that I live in a 2 bed rented house and she has grandparents who will spoil her too. So I stopped at £60. Still arguing with myself over that ball pit though... £100 really doesn't get you much. I would be on £100ish if I hadn't shopped around and bought 2 of the toys secondhand from e-bay.

MabelLucyAttwell · 19/12/2011 14:48

Good God, you lot!!

Think yourselves lucky to be able to spend £100 per child.

andaPontyinaPearTreeeeee · 19/12/2011 14:48

Good point about DH not actually participating in the present buying! Has he just not been bothered, and is now swooping in at the last minute to grumble at you?

Or is it that you 'took over' and did it all yourself regardless? (not that I'd know about that )

If the latter then DH may have a point. If the former, then he's put no effort in and therefore shouldn't really have a say in it.

GoingForGoalWeight · 19/12/2011 14:49

YADNBU! - Happy Christmas and that goes for Scrooge too :)

mrsjay · 19/12/2011 14:53

Sounds more like hes being scroogey rather than over spending TBH as your children get older the presents get smaller and more expensive he should appreciate you managed to get so much for that , yanbu at all ,

SardineQueen · 19/12/2011 15:17

£100 between them including all stockings etc definitely not OTT. I think that anyone who can afford to would think that was a pretty average spend. In fact looking at the figures upthread it's half as much as the average.

I think you should give them, for sure.

Original poster
messagetoyourudy · 19/12/2011 15:41

It is £100 each. For their stockings though it does include items such a pyjama's/socks etc that they actually need along with a few bits they really wanted lego/nerf gun/sonic screwdriver.
Then their main present is playmobil (a castle and a pirate ship) which I have bought 2nd hand on e.bay.If I bought it new the main presents would be over £80 each.

I think it's the stockings that have 'shocked' him the most, he is of the opinion that Father Christmas gets you some chocolate coins, a big orange and a colouring book with pens. But I have done things like throughout the year collected and kept the sun lego packs, so it does look alot, 10 little packs of lego each, but they only cost 30p per pack.

I really loved christmas as a child, and I know my family are much more into it than his. I don't think the kids will expect it every year and while we are still not in the relms of expensive computer games like a DS or a Wii, it's nice ti buy them nice toys.

OP posts:
witherhills · 19/12/2011 15:48

I started a thread just like this!
I don't think it's a lot, especially as you have obviously given it a lot of thought and budgeted for it
I don't think it's the money that's an issue, but I do think sometimes if they have a lot of things to open, then it's too much, and a bit overwhelming if they are 3/4/5/6

Ephiny · 19/12/2011 15:53

If you can afford it, and it's stuff that they actually want and will use, and doesn't use up all your ideas for birthdays...then I don't see the problem.

Don't think you should feel you have to spend that much if money is tight though.

DeckTheHugeWithBoughsOfManatee · 19/12/2011 15:54

YANBU at all. You saved up, you didn't stick it on credit cards, you bought carefully and I'm sure you and your family will have a lovely Christmas. Xmas Smile

SenseofEntitlement · 19/12/2011 16:27

We spent more than usual this year, but that is because we splashed out on a lovely toy kitchen. I had been looking at them for about the last 3 years (DD1 is 4, DD2 is 2) but had never been able to afford one of the lovely wooden ones, but then I saw one at half price at the same time as DH got a tax rebate... Grin
Have also bought some bits of nice wooden toy food etc, again probably more expensive than normal, but it looks like it will last forever - if DD2 stops playing with it when she is 8 or 9 that is seven years of play by two children, and I bet by then I will have nieces or nephews to hand it down to as well. Plus we can buy more bits for birthdays and so on.
Then of course the pyjamas, toothbrushes, underwear, bubble bath, hair bobbles, puzzle books, craft stuff, etc that they would have had anyway, but we saved buying them till Christmas, and we probably have spent quite a lot, but hopefully not too much tat.
We are skint, but I'd rather spend what money we do have on lovely quality toys than on a really posh Christmas dinner or whatever.

RainboweBrite · 19/12/2011 17:16

OP, please don't listen to your DH, especially as it sounds like he did nothing to help. You should be really proud of what you've accomplished. I am embarrassed to say what we've spent on our DS, between presents and Santa's, but at least I have avoided going into debt.

PeggyCarter · 19/12/2011 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greenshirt · 19/12/2011 18:23

Had a complete bargain off Ebay for our 2 yr old DD- complete set and I mean complete set of Fisher Price figures,town,farm,funfair and cars for the princely sum of £16! Two bin bags full.She will be thrilled and I'm only getting a few more Poundland saftness items for her and she will be sorted.6 yr DS has also got some brilliant charity shop and Ebay items.13 yr old DD will be getting surprises and vouchers.Estimated spend about £90 for 3 kids.

rhondajean · 19/12/2011 18:50

YANBU in the least. You have shopped around sensibly, and saved the money so you are not in debt. And you have bought some practical items too.

Does he maybe think you have spent more than you have?

tanfastic · 19/12/2011 18:52

I've spent about £130 if that makes you feel any better.

ImperialBlether · 19/12/2011 18:56

Lydia, why do you have to use your 'fun' money rather than your family money to buy your children's presents? Does your husband not buy them anything then?

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 19/12/2011 19:04

Yanbu, £100 each certainly is not excessive if you can afford it, especially when that includes practical stuff. He's being silly.

FWIW i've spent Xmas Blush yet again this year