ttc while returning from maternity leave

[rootietootie]

What is the general consensus regarding this. I will be returning to work after christmas from a year long maternity leave. Legally there is nothing to stop me falling pregnant again and taking maternity entitlement, but is it frowned upon? I work for a small business and on one hand I think I would feel bad, we're in a recession and I suppose maternity pay etc is a burden on a business, but otoh, I would really like to have one more baby, and for it to be close in age to my current baby, before I call it quits. Would it be unreasonable for me to consider ttc so soon after returning from maternity leave? Would also mention that it took 4 years and in the end some drug intervention to fall pregnant last time, and i'm no spring chicken neither :o

If you have age going against you and also if you need clomid to help you concieve, then go for it now. don't waste time. I had a couple of clomid babies but I needed a higher does of clomid (100mg) with the second because i was a couple of years older (37) than with my first clomid babe (50mg).

I think you need to step back an look at the wider long term picture. I know it isn't great for the small company but how will you feel if you left it too late and then couldn't concieve.

YANBU You are legally entitled to. Look out for yourself and do what's right for you and your family, because no-one else will look out for you .

At the end of the day your employer doesn't own you and you need to decide whats best for you and your family. If you do get pregnant then just say, wow it was such a surprise as last time too so long.

Yes it would be a pain for the business, but that shouldn't affect your decision.

but that is also why many companies dont hire/promote women of child bearing age.

because they are looking after their own families.

the only solution i can see is shared parental leave.

Companies only get 80% of SMP back not all of it they also have to cover the replacement too.

The thing that seems to be missing fromt these conversations is the fact that women don't have babies by themselves, men have a part to play!

If a couple chooses to have a child, why should the woman be the only one to suffer career-wise, when the couple have both taken responsibility for having it?
Thankfully we are moving in the right direction, with men being able to take the second six months as paternity leave, but judging by some small business owners' reactions on here they haven't realised that fact yet! Are they just going to stop employing everyone?

Also, people who carp on about how it's a 'lifestyle' choice and you should suck up the cost yourself, what do you think would happen if everyone suddenly stopped having kids? Who do you think will look after you when you're in a nursing home, or administrate your pension fund when you're 80? The fact is that haviing children is necessary to the continuing functioning of society as a whole, and the sooner people realise that the better. People don't just exist in little bubble, seperate from each other, we're all in it together, as much as some people don't want to accept it!

It's not illegal obviously but I would feel very uncomfortable if it were me. Of course it is difficult for employers, to pretend it isn't is ridiculous.

All my kids are very young and my boss has been super. Tbh I never considered how they would feel about any of my pregnancies though because it's not theur business and they've no legal standpoint should they have ever been against it. I work to live, I don't live to work.

Good post nightowl.

Good post nightowl.

In Singapore ML is 12 weeks for non-Singaporeans and 16 weeks if you are Singaporean (but you have to be married to get 16 weeks).

I think 12 weeks is far too short (I know from friends' experiences that it is very difficult if you are BFing) but equally I think a year is too long. I reckon 6 months is about right.

As I said before OP you and your DH should do what is best for your family.

However if I had a small business I would be concerned if I had specialist female staff in their late twenties/thirties. As are a number of people on this thread.

We need babies but as far as possible there shouldn't be too much financial cost to employers as this deters them from employing females who are in their late twenties/thirties and in extreme cases it could cause a small company to go under.

I think the answer is a lot more help for employers in this situation who have a turnover of, say, less than half a million.

How about a turnover of £70,000? Now that's a small business and that's what I meant when I said we have invested a lot in our employee. There are many many, many such micro businesses all over the country. That's what I mean when I say it's difficult for small businesses. Of course employers want to do right by their employers, but it's very, very difficult.

i run a small company & for me the personal concept of ML is meaningless. i cannot see DP using additional PL as it cannot be taken until 20 weeks - i will have gone back to work ages before then.

actually i wont be going 'back to work' as i will only be away for the minimum possible. a tax break on employing a nanny would be useful or DP being able to take all ML as PL.

I don't see a problem with taking ML again so quickly, as long as you do intend on returning to work. It's happened a few times at my place where ladies have dithered and just not come back - one even openly said she was only in it for the maternity pay. It's that attitude that causes problems, not genuine ladies.

rootietootie, I have only read some of the posts and not the whole thread. However, I am just adding my opinion! I went back from mat leave recently (I took the full year and added on my accrued annual leave, plus went from full time to 2 days a week so was off in total nearly 14 months) 14 weeks pregnant with twins (I'm now 22 weeks).

I'm in a real dilemma now- my boss was great, and said its almost better to have someone have their family close together than wonder if/when their next ML will be, and has been very supportive as I'm struggling far more with this twin pg already than I ever did with my first one. However, I feel awful, as now I don't know if I will be able to go back after my ML- we will financially be making a loss every week paying for three children under 2.5years in childcare.... I am thinking of taking the SMP anyway, but I do feel guilty about it, and it preys on my mind. However, with many expenses we hadn't planned for (you can't fit three child seats in a normal car, we need to buy an MPV, monster buggy, etc etc) I don't think we can afford not to. You can't plan twins, so we've not budgeted for this"!!!! Yet I do want to do the right thing by my job . I work for a small department, but it is NHS, so not a small employer.

I also agree with nightowl, that we do need to have children to keep society going. It's a small part of your life. And more and more evidence is coming out that the best thing you can do as a parent is give a sense of self-contentment and self-confidence to your children in the first 2 years. After all, we need well-adjusted children to grow up and become well-adjusted adults in the working world. I wouldn't put my child in childcare before one- I still couldn't do it at one, and persuaded GP to do childcare as a temporary arrangement as I'm pg. I think giving my children the best start in life (as I see it) is the most important thing. DH is on a good salary, so we are not eligible for, or needing, any benefits, and many other people have very different opinions on childcare, i'm fully aware of that.

So the long and short of it for me is, if you want to have another child, I would start TTC when it suits you, and take the full year if you can and it suits your family. You'll never look back and say gosh, I wish I'd gone back to work sooner after my last baby IMO! You can never get that time back.

i went back after my 1st 2 mat leaves pregnant with the next one!
my boss wasn't happy but these thing happen and i'm glad i had my children close together in age, they are 5,3 and 1.
funnily enough my boss then had her 1st baby at the same time i had my 3rd and she is ready to pop out another in 3 weeks.

I am now 31 and have all my baby days behind me.

In common with many public sector employers, my workplace does not hire in maternity cover- and we do a desperately importan job!- so every time someone goes off on ML there is a suppressed groan from the rest of the staff. And one of my colleagues has been off sick for 2 1/2 years and just announced via FB she is pregnant again. And they can't recruit for her post or for cover as it could be construed as constructive dismissal.

In riposte to NightOwl- if everyone did have children, who'd be left running the show?

I was 5 weeks pregnant when I went back to work after ML, having taken off 13 months (ie including hols). I worked for 7 months between the two MLs. The benefits to my employers were:

• They knew I was likely to have a 2nd child, this took away the uncertainty of when (as we have to plan our work far in advance and build relationships with clients etc)

• I worked bloody hard in that 7 months, we were short staffed and unable to recruit, I was working part time but putting in more than FT hours, and got the office out of a big hole. I couldn't have done that if I didn't have the 'light' at the end of the tunnel of my next ML coming up, I think I would have left.

• I have made sure that I have been open and honest with my employers (even telling one of my bosses at 9w because it was relevant). Obviously I don't have to tell them when I am planning to come back, but I committed to a date before I went on ML because I thought that was only fair, and have kept them up to date.

You having a second child is far more important in the scheme of things than your work and the inconvenience (which I agree can be considerable) it can cause them. However you can do what you can to make it work as well as possible.

Good luck with TTC.

I would never dare do this personally. I dont know anyone who has ever done it either, as I thought its not really the done thing.

FabbyChic you are mistaken that the employer only gets 80% of the SMP back from the government - for full details see e15 but basically it depends on the company's liability for class 1 NIC payments - if they pay under £45,000 of class 1 NICs they can claim 103% of the SMP; if their class 1 NICs are over £45,000 they can claim 92%.

Also a lot of the small employers commenting on here seem to have not noticed that the law changed in April 2011, and the partner can now take over the remaining parental leave after the mother has taken at least 20weeks - so it isn't just women who could be a risk to your company now.

OP - if you are intending to return to work after a 2nd child, i think the important things to consider are
a) if you could afford the childcare for two children close in age (if it happens that you do conceive the 2nd one quickly) - after all there is no government help until the 1st child is 3 and
b) if they are close in age, what the effect of taking nearly 2 years out of the workforce would be on your ability to do the job- e.g. could you fall behind/ end up with obsolete skills if you are out for too long?
c) effect on the company/ your colleagues of you being out for a long time
d) how much consideration the company gives you - e.g. do they fire at the drop of a hat anyway, and not really care about their employees?