ttc while returning from maternity leave

[rootietootie]

What is the general consensus regarding this. I will be returning to work after christmas from a year long maternity leave. Legally there is nothing to stop me falling pregnant again and taking maternity entitlement, but is it frowned upon? I work for a small business and on one hand I think I would feel bad, we're in a recession and I suppose maternity pay etc is a burden on a business, but otoh, I would really like to have one more baby, and for it to be close in age to my current baby, before I call it quits. Would it be unreasonable for me to consider ttc so soon after returning from maternity leave? Would also mention that it took 4 years and in the end some drug intervention to fall pregnant last time, and i'm no spring chicken neither :o

Bunbury put simply...go away. The OP is entitled to further leave by law, it's perfectly natural to want children and why should she not follow that instinct because of the size company she works for!!

toobreathless, thank you, I would like to hope that I am a lovely, caring and considerate person too :) Bunbury, I am also awaiting your alternative suggestions, other than that working women should not be allowed to have more than one child if they want to continue working? Or was even having one just a bit selfish?

Maybe we should just all give up our jobs on marriage like the good old days?

Am shocked by bunbury's attitude! It's actually a fact that businesses claim every penny of statutory maternity pay back from the government. The only problem for businesses is a slight inconvenience of finding temporary staff, but I wouldn't think they would have any trouble in this climate getting a temp to cover you.

I wonder what people like bunbury would rather, all women chained to the kitchen sink if they dare to have children? Let's not go babk to the fifties, people!

OP yanbu, you are entitled to the leave, if you feel bad then give them a date you will be returning to make it easier for them to plan, but don't feel guilty for having kids. Imagine if nobody did, who's going to look after bunbury in hospital when she's old!

I know it shouldn't be the case but a small business can be crippled by a specialist employee going off for one let alone two years ML.

If this has affected Bunbury then I can see where she is coming from.

However as someone said up thread you have to put your family first. I know a lady in her late forties who only had one child due to work commitments and she really regrets it now.

I think Bunbury could be my boss.

That is part of the reason why I took GREAT pleasure on my first day back after maternity leave, telling him I was pg again.

As many people have said, it is your right to do this if you want to. I have no guilt whatsoever and agree that in years to come I won't look at my 2 DC and think "Blimey, I shouldn't have had maternity leave twice". I am over 35 and this was a big consideration when deciding to have 2 close together.

As for small businesses, I understand where you are coming from but surely you do not have the right to dictate a woman's family just because you pay her working hours?

The only thing that shocks me' is the naivety of some people who see this as a simple issue. It's not. There is more to consider than simply the financial aspect. Many business find it really really difficult to cover maternity leaves successfully. Everything is stacked in favour of the employee. A woman can go off on maternity leave, the business doesn't know whether they are recruiting someone to cover for 3, 6 , 12 months... The employee does not have to state their intention about returning for a long time. Then imagine they waltz back in after a year off, already pregnant and soon take another year off. And then maybe decide to do it a 3rd or 4th time. Oh and after all that they may decide they'll come back long enough to keep their maternity pay and then leave! And yes,'all of this may be their legal entitlement, but it doesn't mean its going to endear you to your employer or clients.

Op -yes, you are entitled to go for another baby if you want, and no one on here should be telling you what to decide- that is your call. But I would suggest you think hard about the business, your colleagues, how this will all pan out if you are intending to return permanently after 2 ML's. Only you know the impact it will have and how it will be perceived. It may be that you are an excellent employee who is valued highly and will return after 2nd ML and provide years of good service. At the other extreme are women described in other posts - and ive known a few - who after being in employment for say, 5 years, have actually only been in work for about 2 of them because they've been on ML more than actually Working.

OP, as others have said, I don't think you're going to look back in 2021 and think "oh, I'm so glad I didn't have another baby in order to please my 2011 boss"! Go for it. I am 31 and expecting my first. I ideally want to have finished having my 2 or 3 babies by 35 so I will be doing just the same.

Bunbury, I would be interested to know if you have children and if so, what you did about ML? Although I suspect you may be self employed?

YANBU- it is your right, and that is why the system was set up that way. As someone said, SMP is paid by the government.

In a lot of industries, doing maternity cover is seen as a really good way of getting into a company, and for the company to try people out. When I was on ML I ended up having 3 different maternity covers- they all kept applying for other jobs within the company and getting them! Good for them, and good for the company to be able to employ people who they have 'trialled' for a while as a maternity cover.

YANBU- it is your right, and that is why the system was set up that way. As someone said, SMP is paid by the government.

In a lot of industries, doing maternity cover is seen as a really good way of getting into a company, and for the company to try people out. When I was on ML I ended up having 3 different maternity covers- they all kept applying for other jobs within the company and getting them! Good for them, and good for the company to be able to employ people who they have 'trialled' for a while as a maternity cover.

tbh i would wait to see how working and having a child is actually like.

many relationship strain once mum returns to work, as you have said you have had a year off and in that time there has been a new routine, i bet you have been doing alot more than your partner such as housework, shopping and childcare ect.

i also hope you have thought about past the 2nd maternity leave, when there is childcare to find for 2 children, if you get pregnant on the first try you will have 2 under 2 ofsted stated you can have a max of 3 under 5yrs old....finding a childminder for 1 can be hard.

but yanbu to want another baby

It's one of those issues where if you are a woman running a smallish business, you're going to have a different perspective from if you're the employee.

And theres a delicate balance here because if things sway too far against the employer, then indirectly that will backfire on women- because employees will be reluctant to appoint them. Imagine if you were a woman running a small business, you appoint another woman and and she spends 2 years out of 3 away from the office on Maternity leave. Imagine that you have gone through the time and expense of advertising and recruiting to cover that woman, and its been impossible to do it adequately because you never know whether you're advertising for 3, 6 or whatever months, and you certainly can't offer anything permanent. Imagine all this is having a negative impact on the business YOU have put your money and time into. Now, seriously, can you not see how that might make you worried about the viability of your business ??

I found out I was pg the morning I went in for my first kit day. I was sat in a meeting thinking "how the fuck am I going to drop this bombshell?"

In the end my plan to keep it to myself as long as possible was ruined by a rearranged 12 week scan (due to snow) and I had to ask for time to go.

I have worked for my employer for 18 years and soon got over the guilty feeling when I gave birth and didn't recieve so much as a card from them (on either occasion). I need to go back in 3 months but I am so bitter about this that I'm considering a transfer to another site. Was hard enough to bite my tongue after the first time.

However, if you have a good relationship with your boss I would advise letting them know you're pg sooner rather than later so they can plan ahead.

No need to let on you're ttc though.

My experience has been that your firm won't worry about inconveniencing you when it suits them, so why should it work the other way around? Eg if they needed to make you redundant, they would, so why should you worry about the impact your actions will have on them?

Exactly shiregirl- thats what I meant about some people being rather naive about the impact. Sure, maternity pay is recouped- but what about all the additional costs of recruitment? The company I work for has just put out an advert for a ML cover - that cost nearly £1000 just to advertise. The interviews will cost a fair bit- for an interview panel of say, 3 people, you're talking about their time .. It all stacks up.

I'm not arguing about the legal entitlement aspect- the op can certainly return pregnant if she wants. Its the utter naivety of some poster which shocks me- the attitude of just 'go for it, it's your right and screw the employer because it doesn't cost them anything' - that's a really ignorant attitude. In a small business it can cost them a lot of custom and can even be make or break

But it isn't without costs to the employee, either. Having two or more closely-spaced maternity leaves will almost inevitably be detrimental to your career progression and will almost certainly undermine relationships with colleagues and bosses. So really, it's not as though anyone gets off scot-free. Except perhaps the baby, if having Mummy it home is an asset - which obviously it should be,

If employers have a bit of imagination it's great for them. Some of my best working years were at a place where there was pretty much always someone on mat leave. This meant there was almost always opportunities to get experience of different roles, try out higher levels of responsibility etc. The employer gets to try out new people where they don't have to commit to a longer term position. There was so much job satisfaction in that place. I personally went up 3 levels while I was there. There was no getting stuck in a rut. Job satisfaction = productive employees.

Of course it's much easier for employers to moan.

And of course it's only mat leave that is the issue. What about these people that dare to get ill at a moments notice, or heaven forbid leave only giving their notice period.

OP yanbu.

Exactly loveina I've just returned from 9 months ML and am pregnant again, and I probably won't get a second lot of ML because my job will be gone by then.

To be fair, if most people have 2 or more children then they'll take 2 or more lots of ML - does it really make a difference if they are taken close together?

There is that side of it LIACC. An employer wouldn't give two tosses about doing what they need to do, be it redundancy, changing hours etc. My work didn't give a hoot when they screwed me over last year after 12 years' service.

Do you really think your employer would lie awake at night wrestling with their conscience if it was a choice between them and you?

This is exactly why it is very hard to get a job with a small business if you are a woman in your 30s. There is a recession, many businesses are just about ticking over, and so many women are just taking the pi55. I know of two who strung their employers along, saying they'd return, when actually they had zero intention of doing so.

A friend runs a chain of garden centres. She openly admits that out of a list of candidates the women of potential child bearing age don't really stand a chance.

I manage a gilr who returned from a year's mat leave about 3 months pg. She worked for 4 months, then went off for another year. From a managerial point of view, it was quite straightforward, as we just kept her maternity cover in place. I 2work for a big organisation that could afford the cost. The thing is, now her DC are 5 and 6, they are at school all day and she is much more committed to her job and has more time than me - I've got the same number of children and have taken the same amount of mat leave, only over 4 years instead of 2, and my childcare/work juggling will go on much longer than hers.

I work for a small business and our boss has actually said that in the financial climate maternity leave is a good thing.

It means he takes a break from paying a salary while he claims SMP back from the government. So with two currently off on maternity leave our staffing bill is reduced and the money can be but into things that will help our business survive the recession. without the reduced staffing bill he wouldn't be able to do this, without making a redundancy. also when we return we will have a more productive business to go back to.

Also he says he prefers employing mums as they are less likely to move jobs, be head hunted or have hang-overs. Mums tend to do alot more unpaid work for the business and there's a calmer atmosphere as we are all there because we love our jobs and want to work. its also a great very well bonded team, all socializing with babies outside of work, all go to the same nursery, so one mum can collect 2/3 kids.

I've had three babies in 4 years so fell pregnant then 1year mat leave then came back for 7 months, then another year off then worked for over a year before taking time off again. but my boss is happy and pleased I'm secure enough in my job to feel able to take time off. he also knows I'm likely to stay in my job for many years to come because of his supportiveness.

When others in our industry comment on the amount of pregnancies in the business he says how well trained we are to all have our babies in a recession as its convenient for the business now and as soon as business picks up again he's going to have a really strong commited work force.

It depends if your in your job for the long term or not. or maybe I just have an super positive boss.

No Bunbury, the fact op has to ask this question shows how difficult it is for women to assert their legal rights - oh, and to be 'allowed' to make fundamental life choices without being judged morally and discriminated against

i actually agree with bunbury (though may not have put it that way). you are nbu to have more children of course but this could cause a smapp company to go under. i can see where the notion of employing women of child bearing age is an issue for employers.

i think that there should be a time in between ML applications and if you dont want to wait pay for your ML yourself.