ttc while returning from maternity leave

[rootietootie]

What is the general consensus regarding this. I will be returning to work after christmas from a year long maternity leave. Legally there is nothing to stop me falling pregnant again and taking maternity entitlement, but is it frowned upon? I work for a small business and on one hand I think I would feel bad, we're in a recession and I suppose maternity pay etc is a burden on a business, but otoh, I would really like to have one more baby, and for it to be close in age to my current baby, before I call it quits. Would it be unreasonable for me to consider ttc so soon after returning from maternity leave? Would also mention that it took 4 years and in the end some drug intervention to fall pregnant last time, and i'm no spring chicken neither :o

smapp??? lol meant small

pants thats assuming though that those on ML dont need a temporary replacement and another salary to be paid

doubghnuty that's awful of them!

I think women should have every right to have more than one child and to take a full year as maternity leave if they want to.

I worked five years for my company in the city, working long hours with no overtime. I feel I have given the company more than enough of me to ' justify' (not that I should have to!) having time out for a family. The maternity cover was simple, they got someone in for a year, she did a good job, icame back. Also, most companies wouldn't think twice about redundancies / dismissals so why should people be putting their life plans on hold / not fulfilling them. I do intend to go back after a second mat leave, but hopefully on a p/t basis so I can actually see my family (or would bun bury and others think p/t working is also outrageous taking the piss?!)

Finally, from a selfish perspective, having children closer together is better for my career rather than start/stop.

I'm very surprised at some of the reactions here.

No because there's currently less work to do because of the recession. But when we do have a busy month of two the remaining staff pull together and get things done because we know others did when we were off. Also we can always drop in using our KIT days when its really busy.

I say go for it. It took you 4 years last time and as your not a spring chicken (your words) I think you would be foolish to wait. Very best of luck.

I am ttc #1 at the moment. It is taking a while and because of my age, I will be aiming to have 2 close together if I possibly can. However, I do not intend to take a year ML with each one, probably more like 5-6 months. Partly because I don't think it is fair on my employer (we are a small office that is struggling a little and I am one of the highest billers) and partly because my profession is one where it is important to be up to date with current developments, etc. and I am concerned about the effect on my own career of longer leave. Most of my friends who have gone back to work after having kids and done well have had 5-6 months ML so that has influenced my decision. I think the only friend who took the full year gave up completely after #2 and a few years on has not made it back to work (although I know she wants to work again). I've just seen someone in my place come back after a year's ML and tbh she really struggled to get back into it.

Nothing I have said above would stop me ttc #2 in the OP's shoes, but would make me think twice about taking the full year.

If a replacement isnt needed to cover someone off on ML I'd be asking questions about how necessary the job is!

Tbh in the current climate businesses don't have slack. Employers can't afford to recruit, appoint and pay wages to staff unless they are getting a good return on that investment

There' no law against it, but as a small business owner this would be a nightmare scenario for me. An utter nightmare.

For those who are talking about how taking long maternity leave is bad for women, let's also consider that a woman can replace the employee on leave, and benefit this way. Given the current climate, it will not be difficult in most sectors to recruit someone in on a 3 month contract with the possibility of extending it further. People prefer permanent contracts, but most of us can't be fussy at the moment. This is how one of my friends got her start in her company- the woman she was covering ended up not coming back at all, and now my friend has the permanent role. Covering maternity leave can provide some great opportunities to other employees, that might not otherwise be available.

I appreciate that there are a few jobs where we have absolute shortages of suitably qualified people, and a few more where there are only about 3 people in the world who actually have the knowledge to do it. It would be a problem then, although if the woman wants to have two children and leave the workplace, a replacement would have to be found regardless of whether she is given maternity pay or not. But it would be stupid to make policy based on these exceptions.

I'm also glad to see mention of the fact that it allows employers to experiment with having one less member of staff, and be paid by the government for it. In the current climate, that can be a considerable advantage.

YANBU. it took 4 years last time.

however the sentiment you have to put your family first only seems to apply to employees. if you are a small business owner, you probably dont earn lots & forgo holidays etc. & if you dont hire women, you are being discriminatory but you are probably doing the same thing & putting your own family first.

i dont know what the solution is. i run my own company & it is a very male industry which means i dont have to deal with this topic for core employees and i dont care if the receptionist needs ML.

ML isnt an option for me as i am 38 so dont have time to grow my business to the point where it can function without me.

the idea it allows employers to experiment with having one less member of staff might be great for some companies, but for mine it would be dreadful & if a company can function without you, they should be considering if the role is required.

I think this is quite a complex and difficult question. As a mother, I have taken full advantage of the generous maternity benefits I received as a teacher and I believe that those rights are vital for ensuring equality in the work place. Most people would like to have more than one child so it is likely that a woman would take two maternity leaves in a 2-3 year period.

As the wife of someone who runs a small business which is struggling, I have been worried by impact maternity rights can have. In his line of work, it takes time for a new employee to become established so the company loses money on each new employee for about the first year. One woman was already pregnant when she took the job, another was pregnant with her second child before she returned from maternity leave and was then entitled to claim holiday pay and bonuses despite not working for the company for over two years.

My dh believes, like me, that these rights are important. He has never made a woman feel uncomfortable or guilty for wanting to have a child or for claiming what she is entitled to. But it is a fact that the company has lost money by employing these women and that has endangered everyone's jobs.

I would really like to have one more baby, and for it to be close in age to my current baby, before I call it quits

As you are planning on 'calling it quits' after you have dc2, then you are taking the piss.

I can't believe more people don't see it like that. So what if the business can claim back SMP from the government? The governmnet shouldn't have to pay for your family planning choices either! And that's assuming that all you get is SMP, your employer may offer more and that would cost them.

If you were definatley planning on going back to work after dc2, then I wouldn't have a problem with it, but as you are not, I think your attitude is very self entitled. You and your DH should take responsibility for yourselves.

I thought 'before I call it quits' meant 'before I give up on having children' not 'before I stop working'.

OP, as a small business owner we don't employ many people in the UK any more. Think on it dear.

stff, i was referring to child bearing when I said call it quits. I am fully intending to go back to work after ml.

I completely agree that current maternity legisation deters small businesses from hiring women in their 30's. As someone who strongly suspects my age and wedding ring have gone against me when going for jobs and promotion I intend to take ml in accordance to what works best for me. If I had been given the promotion I fully deserved at my current company (who have an unofficial policy of not hiring women for this reason unless they have absolutely no other suitable candidate) I would have worked my backside off to make sure my employer and clients were inconvenienced as little as possible by my ml. As things are I will 100% put myself and family first and bollocks to them.

I work as a professional in the private sector in an area that is very 'hire and fire'. People are taken on when there is a lot of work and made redundant when there isnt with only a core few people in the business having any job security. Because I am a good earner for them and my area of the business has done well, I have been there about four years. I have been back a year from maternity leave where I took 10 months off and have been ttc since I went back to work. I find the idea that we are all supposed to put our employers above our family laughable. I know that my company would make me redundant without thinking about it if my area of work died down.

YANBU to consider ttc again but I definitely wouldn't tell your employer or colleagues this. I was supposed to be going back to work a few weeks ago (to a large company, global bank who were not bailed out by the taxpayer so no problem with them affording ML) and was basically put out of a job by being transferred to another branch which is an hour's travel away and they knew wouldn't be feasible with childcare hours and costs involved. There was someone else returning from ML around the same time who claimed that her family is now complete and there was no problem with her returning to her old role. It's no secret that I would like another child at some point in the next couple of years and I'm sure that played a big part in their decision of who to keep on.

I don't think YABU OP but personally, and probably due to voices like Bunburys, I would be really nervous and worried about telling my boss that I was pg again so soon after a years ML. A sad thought.

I think people need to remember to distinguish between companies like the one Lambzig works for and companies like mine which employs one person who we have invested hugely in.

Goodness me, if Bunbury thinks the OP is being reckless, I'd hate to think what she'd say about me. I am currently on ML and have just found out I am almost 2 month pregnant with DC2. I was due back at work in June and the new baby is due in July, meaning it's highly likely that I will end up taking my second period of ML back to back with the first. I haven't broken the news to work yet but plan to do so next week if all looks ok at a scan I'm having. I will have had 15 months ML with DS (I had a lot of accrued holiday to take on top of my 52 week entitlement), and will likely take another 52 weeks with the second baby meaning I'll have had well over 2 years ML in total when I return.

On the face of it maybe IABU but if you dig a little deeper...

I was diagnosed with cervical cancer 2 and a half years ago and told that I may never conceive naturally. We gave it our best shot and underwent a round of IVF privately - luckily it worked first time and I got pregnant with DS. He was born 3 months prematurely after a horrendous pregnancy and birth (EMC when I got a rampant infection) and DH and I said we would not have IVF again and risk another premature birth. However, 4 weeks ago I missed my period and found that somehow, miraculously, I have fallen pregnant naturally! From thinking and being told that I might never have the child we'd hoped for, we now have one beautiful son and (hopefully) another baby on the way.

I appreciate that the timing for my employer isn't great, but I refuse to feel guilty for being pregnant again when it's something that I'd never dreamed of. My oncologist had always warned me that I would probably require a hysterectomy as insurance against a cancer reoccurrence once I'd completed my family (if it happened at all!), so I know that if I hadn't fallen pregnant again naturally I would be sticking to one child.

I have worked for my local authority for 10 years and intend to go back part time initially and full time when both children are in nursery. I am only 28 so having all my childbearing out of the way by the time I'm 30 will leave me with another 30 years (at least) of my career.

YANBU.

The way I see it, you have worked years to pay towards other people's maternity leave and you may very well have had to be flexible in the past to cover someone else's maternity/paternity. And when you come back after this second period, there will be years more of that to come. Provided you don't complain when your colleagues are taking time off, you don't have to feel guilty now either.

Babies are a fact of life, and yes, it's not ideal for employers to have to work around these absences, but part of running a business is dealing respectfully and responsibly with staff. It's like paying tax, or dealing with angry customers - it's not why you go into business but it's part of the responsibility you take on when you do.

In fairness, Snowboarder I don't think anyone is ordering you to feel guilty. All cases are different, and clearly yours is a little out of the ordinary.

Congratulations by the way :)

I was going to make the same point as Scrooge on the previous page. If you think you might want to go back to work after dc2, it might be worth knowing that you'll have at least a year, say, back at work in between so that you can get your full work confidence back and catch up with any developments in working practice/your industry before you go off again, esp if that might be for another year. It partly depends what sector you're in, but things do change fast these days and you might appreciate having had more time to get to grips with work again, particularly working and managing childcare issues in the background, before you had another mat leave. So try to think to the time beyond dc2 and what would put you in the best position to take a decision on f-t/p-t, how much leave to take, and things.

Fair enough then rootie!

I obviously read your post differently to how you intended it, sorry! If you are planning on going back to work then I don't think it's a problem at all.