to be a bit upset by teacher's language

[girlynut]

OK, so I know a class of 30 x 6/7 year olds is probably a handful and need a firm teacher... but I have a real problem with the way DS's teacher talks to the children.

At parents' evening, she told us that DS was "lazy" - didn't think too much of it (he is a bit!) until DS came home and said she shouts at them and calls them lazy children.

Thought maybe he was exaggerating until another parent told me her DD had been called "unkind and mean".

Today one of the mums was in the playground fuming as her DD had been called a "spoilt little brat". She'd been to the Head (clearly a woman who should be in politics) who attempted to placate her by saying "Oh, it's all been taken out of context. What she actually said was "Stop behaving like a spoilt little brat"". Oh well, that's alright then!

The teacher never smiles and, as an adult, I find her quite intimidating. At the nativity, you could see the children's body language around her was very odd - they all seemed quite worried, heads down, hands in laps.

Am I being a bit precious? DS is in top group for reading and maths and I don't want him put of school by this old battleaxe! I feel like I want to raise it with the Head. WWYD?

Cup you're a well educated woman or man.

Your child doesn't have the motivation to reach their full potential.

ith more effort your child could improve by at least a grade.

Your child lacks focus and the determination to succeeed.

I thought it was a teacher's role to teach children to use a wide choice of vocabulory, surely that is something that should be led by example? Why limit comments to insulting and derogatory terms?

What if the parents said you were like a teacher who was lazy and didn't bother to make the lessons engaging, that is insulting and you'd be hurt by that no???

Why does it matter what you dress it up as?

"Your child doesn't have the motivation to reach their full potential" = management speak for "your child can be lazy"

Actually most of the parents of my class are EAL and quite probably wouldn't have a clue what I meant by the former.

"Mss!* MISS! MISS! Jimmy's got a Gold Star Wars card that I need for my Star Wars book and he won't give it to me! I want it! I WANT IT! GIVE IT TO ME!"

"Jenny don't be silly, you are behaving like a spoiled brat. It is Jimmy's card, not yours. You have your own."*

I thank Goodness every day I moved my child out of an incompetent school with an incompetent teacher and to one where the respect is a mutual thing.

Don't worry I don't expect you to understand. Just relating our experience.

Yes, I can that you are well placed to judge me and my abilities in my chosen career.

Are your judgy pants chafing at all?

Actually most of the parents of my class are EAL and quite probably wouldn't have a clue what I meant by the former"

Thank God you're not a patronising teacher while using a limited vocabulary in front of your pupils' parents.

Wow, your cup overfloweth tonight!

Sounds like you've lost the love of the job.

And people with English as a second language don't have to be spoken to like morons, or their children insulted any more than the rest of us.

'additional' language.

er no, they don't speak very good English. I teach in a different country. Not UK.

Whatevs

Sounds like ds's teacher. Very shouty all the time. Ds and another boy get shouted at most. Not reflected at all in his school report though, which is odd. His effort marks were very good except in music where he got marked down because he refuses to join the school choir!

RIZZO I've met teachers who think they know more than the parents, the mental health professionals, the mental health charities, CAMHS, they were just so far up their own butts that was all they could see and spout.

You just have to feel sorry for the children who have to endure them. I moved my child the teacher in question was arrogant and equally ignorant without the ability to see it. My child was too precious to leave him in their hands so he was moved to a competent school with competent teachers.

That make explain in Cup they largely have far higher standards here.

e*r no, they don't speak very good English. I teach in a different country. Not UK.

Whatevs *

Are you saying that you can't explain thei children's difficulties to the parents in their own language without being extremely rude about them?

sitandnatter I can see that reflected in the fact that the UK is joint 20th in the world literacy rates ranking.

Behind Georgia, Cuba, Estonia, Latvia, Barbados, Slovenia, Belarus, Lithuania, Ukraine, Armenia, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Russia, Hungary, Poland and several others

sitandnatter Yes, that's what she's saying. depressing but not uncommon as you say.

I feel really sorry for parents (the like of whom I know) who have this situation, and no nearby school to transfer to, or money to go elsewhere. It can be very frustrating and upsetting.
One of DS's teachers recently admitted she used to think parents were precious complaining about the smallest things, then she had kids, and got it.

It's like some (only some, most are wonderful I know!) midwives who've seen too much of it all and start to lose their humanity in the way they deal with the vulnerable people in their care.

Its an English speaking school. We are required to communicate in English.

YABP.

Funny thread though

Think you're purposely missing the point Cup. The bones of SAN's question was that surely it's possible to communicate the problem without using insults and blaming it on their lack of language skills. Use other basic words.

'Wondering why we care' don't post every five seconds about it, royally hogging the thread, then get defensive dear.

"royally hogging the thread"

you're hilarious. Now, I'm off to enjoy my 3 week school holiday

Why thanksh!

Lazy caaah.

the teacher sounds like a mother.

Teacher sounds unpleasant. I would be wary of complaining in case she picks on DS. See how many other parents have a prob and make a joint protest to Head.

She sounds like a ghastly teacher, and not very competent either. Telling six year olds that they're lazy is not the way to get the best out of them.

For the life of me, I can't see why anyone thinks that teachers who shout at and insult children are better than the kind and sympathetic ones who try to motivate them. Perhaps they just hate children.

YANBU - or 'precious' - and I'm quite pissed of by the posters who think you are.

She doesn't sound like a good teacher. It sounds as if she can't really manage. And if the children look meek and denigrated around her then that's not good either. That's not a good state for them to be able to learn.

It actually sounds as if she's made a rod for her own back by making children feel jumpy and uncomfortable and then blaming them when they can't work well.

This is not just about her calling your DS 'lazy' - which isn't terrible, but isn't great either. If other parents are complaining, it seems there is an issue with this teacher's approach.

As for the head trying to neutralize what she said to this girl - unless the head was present how would (s)he possibly know? And since the complaints from parents seem quite consistent, it seems unlikely that there has been a mistake.