My friendship network all help each other out here and there. From borrowing clothes, kitchen items to giving lifts and looking after children if the mum/dad can't get back from work in time to pick up etc. I am sure this is all very normal stuff all around the country.
I believe I am particularly helpful as I look after one friend's children every morning, so I don't think I can be accused of being a 'taker' of favours and not a 'giver'.
I am unsure how to handle a situation with a different friend. She started a job in September working 1 day a week, although sometimes 2. The hours she works mean she can drop her children off, but not pick them up from school.
However, my friend has not set up any formal after school club childcare and every week, about Wednesday, asks whether any of our network could pick up her children and look after them till 5.30.
A couple of us have commented (amongst ourselves, which I realise is not very nice) that we are feeling more than a little taken advantage of. We all work, and we all work far more hours than our friend does each week, but we have all set up formal childcare for our children.
Clearly friendship is give and take, and it is important to help our friends out, but in my view, that is normally when the usual childcare has broken down, it is not to be the actual sole childcare.
I was asked this week to pick up and look after my friend's children. I said yes but something came up during the day that meant I couldn't do it. As my friend (call her A) was already in work, I asked a mutual friend (call her B) if she could take the children home with her instead. B said yes and together we texted A to let her know.
However, an hour before school pick up, B phoned me to say that something had come up with her too. I phoned and texted A to try to get through but the phone went to answer phone. Eventually I phoned A's work and explained that due to unforseen circumstances neither B nor I could pick up her children.
A burst into tears and said that it would cause her a lot of trouble at her work. I said I was sorry but it wasn't B or my fault that something had come up and that this is what all working parents deal with every now and again.
She is a single mum but because she works less than 20 hours a week, she doesn't get any government help towards childcare costs. Therefore, she doesn't want the majority of her money going towards childcare. She earns about £42 net a day, childcare after school would cost £30.
It isn't just me getting fed up and to be frank A's tears just pissed me off as I felt she was using emotional blackmail. However, my personal circumstances had changed that day (to do with my eldest child and something that had to be dealt with).
Am I being unreasonable and mean to take this attitude?