to think that this is Not Very Good Parenting?

[RagamuffinAndFidget]

I know I've got my judgy pants on, but am I allowed a little bit or should I take them off immediately?

A friend of a friend on Facebook posted a photo of her ten week old 'enjoying chocolate cake with Nanny'. (I think it came up on my News Feed because the mutual friend commented on it or something) The picture was of chocolate cake smeared all across the face of this teeny little baby, and 'Nanny' was pushing some more cake into Baby's mouth.

AIBU to think that baby rice at ten weeks is bad enough, but that chocolate cake is, quite frankly, fecking ridiculous?

Baby rice at 10 weeks? WTF?

10 years ago that was the norm and recommended if your baby was hungry, weaning took place at 16 weeks.

My dad gave ds a bit of choc cake at 4 months - I nearly disowned him!

Wow! My Son had been in the world for 25 weeks and weighed just over 4LB, so i guess i was shocked! He had bottles for well over a year after that!
I had no idea babies ate food at such a young age.

*ate food - anything other than bottles of milk/breatfed ,sigh.

I was advised by my HV, less than 2 years ago, to wean DS at 13 weeks as he was only going 2 hours between feeds. Considering the advice given on MN I'm actually really annoyed she couldn't help me find another solution.

With the new baby, I will most definitely not be weaning so early.

YANBU.

re the early weaning/ digestion problems later topic - it's really one of those things that can only be worked out with long-term cohort studies, rather than personal experience. There are so many variables - so many ways to be weaned early (eg baby rice once a day at 5 months very different from coffee and cakes three times a day from 2 months! ), and also problems with digestion can be anything from a mild case of IBS to cancer!

So that's why judging from personal experience on a topic like that is almost impossible. The only way of understanding whether there are links are long term studies which follow large numbers of people (1000s) from birth, and trace a) how and when they were weaned, and b) if they had digestion problems. And even then all you have proved is a correlation, not causation - to prove that, you need to start controlling for other factors, genetics, diet, lifestyle, etc etc.

It;s like smoking - plenty of people know a tought old lady in her 90s who has smoked 20 a day since she was 18, but sadly that does not mean smoking prolongs your life!

my friend of about 60 says she bumped into a woman (they were from Sunderland and you've got to imagine the accent) with a newborn like hers and she asked what was the dark brown liquid in the bottle.

'it's gravy, pet'

"surprisingly, people even survived before books and telly told us how to behave"

And unsurprisingly more babies died in infancy. Nowadays we have the benefit of long term studies, which weren't available all those years ago.

3inABIRDsnest You talk a lot of sense. I totally agree.

When I was in hospital earlier this year after giving birth, the mother of the very young girl in the bed across from me was melting white chocolate buttons between her fingers and putting them in her day old grandbaby's mouth. The midwives were apoplectic!

Has the advice really been to ever wean at 10 weeks?? When I was born 25 years ago the advice was 16 weeks and my grandmother said she was told 12 weeks and that was over 40 years ago. Both my mother, mil and grandmother breast fed because they knew that it was best for babies.

Yes, for 'hungry' babies they used to recommend a bit of baby rice hard

OP, what was the expression on the baby's face?

I was advised to use baby rice from 12 weeks for my now 16 yo. 16 weeks was the recommended age to start weaning.

I should think the baby enjoyed the cake very much - babies are programed to lke sweet things. That does not mean it's good for them...

pretend She looked a bit worried IMHO, but that may be me projecting somewhat. She was probably enjoying the taste though. It was quite a grim photo really.. essentially a newborn baby, being propped up, with chocolate smeared all across her face. The NSPCC could probably run it as an advert.

I think this baby needs to be kept an eye on. I would make a report to the police/SS which they may keep on record in case something else happens. This means that if nothing else happens, it was just a blip all will be well, but if similar things happen again, the services have a picture to build up evidence. You should trust your instincts.

May be she needs a government trouble shooter mmmm

...The police? Really?

Imagine that 999 call.

Why do people post 'WTF'? Do they hold themselves in such high regard that they need to look down on others all the time? Honestly, the only difference between parenting now and 40 years ago is the internet and the ability of like-minded judgemental people to find a platform to rant on to make themselves feel better. Weird.

That sounds like a staged photo. FB is another medium for shock and awe serving societies need for topics and photos for so many to express 'mild to medium' shock at anything and everything.

Probably a staged pic.

Using formula instead of BF, giving a dummy, weaning at 24 weeks instead of Following the Guidelines ... None of it makes someone necesarily a bad mother. Any more than following The Guidelines to the letter, BF for t least a year, or whatever does not make someone a Good Mother.

Wishes we could live and let live - tho would have raised a private eyebrow at choc that early. Private one.

I remember an older friend (now in her 60s) telling me that when her children were born in the early 1970s, the advice was to start them on solids at two weeks!

I also remember another friend having a baby in the late 80s. At two months, the HV told her to start the baby on solids. My friend said, tentatively, "But Miriam Stoppard says you shouldn't start them till three months," and the HV just laughed and said "Miriam Stoppard - what does she know?"

That's health professionals for you - talking crap with confidence. Still, the recommended age for putting babies on solids has been going up and up is now six months, and these days most health recommendations seem to be based on evidence rather than plucked out of the air, so it's probably sound.

Fairly appalled at the chocolate cake.

I was on solids before 4 weeks (in the bottle, of course).
Friend has a Bounty book from 1975 which clearly says no solids before 3 months, so am a bit about these claims of official advice saying it was okay at 2-3-6-10 weeks etc.
So I still think what the OP describes is a pile of poo, makes me cringe.

These people are idiots, poor baby

My mum was told to give me solids from just a few weeks old by the HV. I was born in the early 70s. I can assure you she's not making it up. Fortunately I was her 2nd child so she ignored this as being ridiculous.

I agree with what people say about being told different things over many years from our great-grandmothers days until now and in most cases the kids have all ended up fine and healthy.

I know feeding guidelines have changed even from when I had my nearly 14 year old to having my new baby.

For example our grandmas might have fed solids from 6 weeks.
I had heard from a friend who is 42 that her grandma would also hold her 6 week old baby on the potty?!
I am 30 and my mum smoked all the way through her pregnancies as she was never told not too. She often had a ciggy with the midwife!
Someone else I know was given a ciggy and a glass of wine by the doctor (in France) 'to celebrate' when she just had her baby 30 something years ago. Whilst she was cuddling her newborn.

My point is our parents and grandparents might have done stuff and we survived but surely research into what's healthy and what's not and common sense would mean we wouldn't give newborn babies chocolate cake and do other stupid things!
And just because people did it years ago doesn't mean its fine to do it now.

AteAWholePacketOfBiccys - pottying for babies is a practice known as elimnation communication. It can be started from newborn. How do you think people dealt with baby's waste in the "olden days" or in areas of the world without a lot of water for laundry? It is not that weird, & certainly not harmful to health like feeding solids early, arguably it is better health-wise than conventional toilet training if anything. Conventional TT (the "readiness" concept) only started at the late age of 2-3yrs supported by funding from disposable nappy companies in the 60s.