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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that this is Not Very Good Parenting?

81 replies

RagamuffinAndFidget · 15/12/2011 22:22

I know I've got my judgy pants on, but am I allowed a little bit or should I take them off immediately?

A friend of a friend on Facebook posted a photo of her ten week old 'enjoying chocolate cake with Nanny'. (I think it came up on my News Feed because the mutual friend commented on it or something) The picture was of chocolate cake smeared all across the face of this teeny little baby, and 'Nanny' was pushing some more cake into Baby's mouth.

AIBU to think that baby rice at ten weeks is bad enough, but that chocolate cake is, quite frankly, fecking ridiculous?

OP posts:
Moominsarescary · 16/12/2011 00:33

I sometimes wonder if in 20 years time weaning advice will change again, back to 4 months or up to 9 months maybe. Wonder what our children would be saying about us on here.

runningwilde · 16/12/2011 00:35

Good lord there are some fucking stupid people out there. What a fucking idiot she is.

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 16/12/2011 00:40

How on earth would you 'stage' feeding a baby chocolate cake, without the baby consuming all some of it?! Xmas Grin

YANBU either re wallpaper paste baby rice - why not just give the baby actual food? Confused

Spermysextowel · 16/12/2011 00:55

we've all become so paranoid about child-rearing. I'd be more worried that a child of mine had a dummy, let alone what was smeared on it. Just as I thought I'd be a bad mother if I didn't breast-feed. As others say, the experts will change their minds, then those of us who've gone with their advice will just be left thinking we've been rather crap.

Moominsarescary · 16/12/2011 01:04

I remember with ds2 a mw telling me off for giving him a dummy, now the say it could prevent cot death and the mw asked if she could give ds3 one in nicu

GoingForGoalWeight · 16/12/2011 03:05

Baby rice at 10 weeks? WTF?

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 16/12/2011 03:52

Please do correct me if I'm wrong but my understanding is that dummies don't prevent cot death per se; but the chances of it happening increase in a baby who has always had a dummy having it removed from them, especially around the 3-month mark.

BuntyCollocksHasBigBaubles · 16/12/2011 08:29

Slinking, research ATM shows dummies do prevent cot death as they regulate breathing/heartrate in babies who are not breastfed/co-sleeping. Apparently, bf/co-sleeping babies do this automatically whereas ff babies go into too deep a sleep. The dummy prevents this level of sleep, which is where/how the majority of cd occur.

MabelLucyAttwell · 16/12/2011 08:35

piprobincomesbobbobbobbinalong

I like semolina and tapioca and sometimes give chocolate semolina to guests for a pudding. I don't tell them what is is until they've eaten it all though.

pigletmania · 16/12/2011 08:37

YANBU at all, some people just cannot wait until later when they are bigger, they are so desparate for babies to grow up.

RealLifeIsForWimps · 16/12/2011 08:41

On dummies, my Paediatrician said that it's a correlation thing. They know that babies who sleep with a dummy have a lower incidence of cot death. However, there's no actual agreement on why this is. One argument is that dummies are more likely to be given to babies who don't settle well/sleep lightly, so they are less likely to suffer SIDS. (i.e. the dummy isn't a cause, but both lower SIDS and having a dummy are symptoms of the poor sleeper).

Bunbaker · 16/12/2011 08:42

"It's a wonder we have no digestive problems"

I was born 53 years ago and I'm sure I was fed solids at a much earlier age than was good for me. I have had digestive problems all my life.

Original poster
RagamuffinAndFidget · 16/12/2011 09:26

Bunbaker I was born in 1989 and was given 'solids' a lot earlier than is recommended now, and I have also had digestive problems for most of my life (and an eating disorder for several years). There might not be a link.. but there might, and that's 'good' enough for me IYSWIM?

BTW, I don't have massive ishoos with baby rice (although it just seems like the most pointless food ever), although I think giving it at ten weeks is a bit much, it was the chocolate cake that got me.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 16/12/2011 09:33

1944girl I nodded my head all the way through your post Grin

I'm the youngest of 5 and we were all on solids from 6wks...as were my 3 kids and none of us have any digestion problems.

I'm not sure if there's a link or not because for every person I hear who has problems, I then hear of someone who doesn't.

To whoever mentioned their parents rubbing whisky on baby's gums, believe it or not that was actual advice from MW's and HV's at one time...as was adding a small drop of whisky/brandy to a bottle.

WifiNappies · 16/12/2011 09:37

I can imagine my DD's 'nanny' (my MIL) doing this tbh. She thinks breastmilk is evil and that my 11wk old should be on meat and 2 veg by now. I had to physically restrain her from giving her formula at 4wks because "she's hungry" ffs Angry

YANBU remember that baby in the news who was forcefed solids from birth and died Sad Her mum had done the same with all her children, it was the culture, but she never thought to stop pouring the jug of chicken soup in when the baby was choking Sad terrible.

entropyglitter · 16/12/2011 09:39

wifi that is a perfect, if incredibly saddening, example of all that is wrong with the 'but it was considered fine in our parents day' comments that are all over this thread...

OldeChestnut · 16/12/2011 09:41

i wonder how anyone ever survived without the wisdom of the t'internet detailing your every move

surprisingly, people even survived before books and telly told us how to behave

Kids are very hardy and can usually survive even the most daftest parent (as evidenced on here) Grin

WorraLiberty · 16/12/2011 09:43

To my knowledge 'force feeding babies from birth' was never considered ok in anyone's day.....

Original poster
RagamuffinAndFidget · 16/12/2011 09:50

Worra I would consider feeding a ten week old baby rice/cake/whatever 'force feeding'. They don't have a choice, they can't stop the parent doing it and they can't say no.

OP posts:
WifiNappies · 16/12/2011 09:54

Hmm at the logic behind 1944girl's DP being given COFFEE in a bottle!! Hope it was decaf Grin

Moominsarescary · 16/12/2011 09:54

Mine wouldn't have eaten it, even at 6 months whatever we put in his mouth came back out again

bejeezus · 16/12/2011 09:56

entropy pouring chicken soup into a choking baby has never been ok in anybodies day!

Who mentioned sops?! Milk bread, sugar-yum! Best weaning food ever

entropyglitter · 16/12/2011 10:01

But that was the defence given by the soup woman, that it was normal in her culture and her mum had done it to her and she turned out fine....

sound familiar anyone?

bejeezus · 16/12/2011 10:13

It is not, as you said, a perfect example of what is wrong with 'but it was normal in our day' because drowning a baby with soup is not normal in any day or culture. The woman obviously had a mental deficit

WorraLiberty · 16/12/2011 10:20

Worra I would consider feeding a ten week old baby rice/cake/whatever 'force feeding'. They don't have a choice, they can't stop the parent doing it and they can't say no

But it doesn't work like that no matter what age you introduce solids.

I'm 42yrs old and the advice was never 'force feed your baby'...it was simply to introduce solids (mainly baby rice) earlier than 6 months or whatever it is now, if you feel your baby is ready.

Of course a baby can 'say no'...in the form of spitting it straight out.

I mean a 6 month old baby can't say 'no' either can they? Yet you still know whether they want it or not.

And at no point are parents told today, to force feed their 6 month olds either.