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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

At comments about young mums = bad mums

124 replies

teenagedirtbag · 15/12/2011 22:17

Had my sacn today. We had a diffrent nurse than usual and as she was looking through my records she said
'oh you had your first child at 16. she read down ah I'm not surprised'
Dp gave her look of death and asked what the comment was for. She said
'well that he passed while you were so young'
(lost him shortly after birth)
I shrugged it off as me being paranoid.
She then said 'Oh well you kept your other kids alive'
She then turned to DD2 who we had to bring with us as we had no child care and she was bored of colouring and was wandering around checking out the room. The nurse turned to her and said Do mummy and Daddy feed you? or is he step daddy number 10?. She turned to Dp and said' Tell your wifes child to stop prancing in my room'
(All the DC's are ours)
She also kept asking if we had a council house? (Does that matter?)
and if we actually worked for a living. (Dp does I've been a SAHM since DD2 was born)
So am I paranoid ?or Can I go back tomorrow and complain?

OP posts:

CalmDownDearItsOnlyALikeButton · 16/12/2011 17:06

Getorf, I belive older mothers get shit for their "geriatric maternity age".

I don't think you can win really.

Get0rf · 16/12/2011 17:08

Oh, I am screwed then

Moominsarescary · 16/12/2011 17:21

I had my first at 16 and my last at 33and the only comment I had that annoyed me was the registrar asking if I'd like sterilising when the time came for ds4 to be born by cs

NeedlesCuties · 16/12/2011 17:24

I am at some of the experiences mentioned on here!

OP - if I were you I would complain to anyone who will listen and put it in writing too.

I was 24 when I got pregnant with DS but didn't have any 'young mother comments'. The only comment I got was from the midwife at my booking in appointment. She was doing the usual list of questions and got to the one when they ask if there is any domestic violence in the relationship and do I need to speak to someone (in Northern Ireland this is a standard question, not sure if it's the same in rest of UK). Anyway, she read the first half of the question, stopped then said, "ohh, I don't need to ask you that one cuz I know it doesn't apply to you."

Her reason for saying that was because she used to work with my DH a year or so previously and they were on good terms. Truth was, that our relationship has never been violent or damaging, but for her to assume something about me based on that annoyed me a lot. Same as the OP getting annoyed the HCP made an assumption based on her age :(

CalmDownDearItsOnlyALikeButton · 16/12/2011 17:27

Maybe she thought she might offend you or that you wouldn't tell her anyway needles still she probably should have asked even if she phrased in it a different way.

CalmDownDearItsOnlyALikeButton · 16/12/2011 17:28

*woudlnt tell her anyway as she knew him

FreeBirdFlying · 16/12/2011 18:05

What a load of crapology.

ThatVikRinA22 · 16/12/2011 20:07

i still have trouble believing the op though, i was 19 when i had my first, and i never had any bother from any health care professionals, if they thought it, they certainly didnt say it.

Original poster

teenagedirtbag · 18/12/2011 15:28

No I am not in the uk. I am british though me and Dp came here last year to give the kids experience of poorer countries and help those in need. It also worked in with the course I took on and with Dps work.
We are flying back to the on the 21 for christmas and so the Dcs can go back to school. (we home school)

OP posts:

Feminine · 18/12/2011 16:44

even more...

ThatVikRinA22 · 18/12/2011 16:55

excuse my extreme ignorance in asking this but what other country does council houses?

and if you home school why do you need to come back for the kids to go to school?

am confused...and it doesnt take much.

Feminine · 18/12/2011 17:04

And if you homeschool ,why do they need to be back for school?

LadyBeagleBaublesAndBells · 18/12/2011 17:06

This thread is just getting nuttier and nuttier

LEttletownofBOFlehem · 18/12/2011 17:08

Do they have council houses in this deprived part of the world then?

GreenIceAndChristmasHam · 18/12/2011 17:08

Nope. Still a huge steaming crock of shit.

LoopyLoopsWoopDeWoops · 18/12/2011 17:29

ThePathanKhansWitch · 18/12/2011 17:57

OP if this is true, please, please go and complain.

If it's not, your very fucking bold!.

sozzledchops · 18/12/2011 18:26

Was it ever proven that Sassysusan was lying about her daughter then? I always believed she was truly a grieving parent even though she was banned for trolling.

LapsedPacifist · 18/12/2011 19:01

OP, you are also contradicting yourself about your Xmas arrangements HERE - no mention of flying back from anywhere on the 21st?

filipolarbear · 18/12/2011 19:07

I am so very confused.......

MrsOzz · 18/12/2011 20:12

Your usual nurse for your scan? Just how many scans are you having/had!?

You child was with you? Not normally allowed in case sonographer needs to deliver bad news.

Council houses abroad?

DP who calls you 'wife'? So your DH?

No child care but only one child with you? Where are the others? Can't be in school as you home school!?

I think you are making up a lot of crap and need to get a life. If it is true (doubtful) I am also wondering why you areasking if this nurse was unreasonable as you would need to be extremely thunk to not see how unprofessional she was.

Daft people.

SkinnyWhiteBoy · 18/12/2011 21:20

Complain. That person needs to not be working in a 'caring profession'

GlueSticksEverywhere · 19/12/2011 09:12

What made this SassySusan person get banned then?

prettysunset · 19/12/2011 14:31

OP, you are in fact Diablo Cody, pathological hater of Sonographers aren't you?! What a load of nonsence!

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