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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the NHS should put an age limit on who they train?

120 replies

Babaj · 14/12/2011 12:57

FIL decided when he was 45 that he was finished with his job (it wasn't a great job, the hours were quite long but the pay was average). So he decided that he wanted to become a nurse and retrained. He recently graduated (aged 51 and now has no job to go into!)
I feel he chose nursing as the NHS pays course fees and he was given grants and therefore basically didn't work for a few years (had to do some volunteering/low paid work in the hospital as he had zilch experience - hence why it took so long!).

AIBU to think that there comes a time when you've got to accept that you missed the point in your life where education was availabe and if you want to change your life for the better - working hard is the way to do it, not starting something new all together? Especially at the expense of the NHS or government supporting you, since it is much more economically viable for that training to go to a young student who will in return give a much longer service to the NHS?

OP posts:
TapirBackRidersJinglyBells · 14/12/2011 15:25

Babaj - YOU keep bringing up the subject of money; you were the one that mentioned it originally. Can't you see exactly how this makes you look to other posters??

I have nothing but respect for your FIL. He has/is working his arse off to become a nurse, and I can only imagine how hurt he would be to hear your unvarnished thoughts on this.

I will never stop trying to change my life for the better, or for my dcs.

Debs75 · 14/12/2011 15:29

Well I hope to train as a midwife and I won't be qualified till I am 41. I would of then had 20 years in my career but with new pension limits I could have 30 or more.

YABU Get onto Cameron and petition for new NHS jobs which we desperately need before slagging your FIL off

jellybeans · 14/12/2011 15:46

YABU. It's hardly a few years 'off work' doing nurse training! Presumably there is academic work of a full time capacity aswell as placements? 50's is a perfectly fine age for retraining. Older people have alot to offer in terms of life experience, wisdom etc.

duckdodgers · 14/12/2011 15:54

Ok you have changed your mind to an extent but I really would like to understand what was going through your head to think he didnt "work" for years. Ive been qualified for 10 years and did the diploma course - it was extremely hard work!! I got a basic bursary - no grants available for nursing diplomas and I also had to supplement it with working as a nursing assistant for an agency. So I was either at University 4/5 days a week and working weekends or I was on placement and working 5 days for that plus days off I was working agency work - so yes I worked!

Also as a student nurse you never got huge longs holidays like other students - you were always out on placement. And as well as working on placements you had academic work based on these placements to do and outcomes to achieve.

agedknees · 14/12/2011 15:56

Unfortunately, agencies will not look at newly qualified nurses who have not done their perceptorship. NHS is not recruiting and will not take on qualified nurses without perceptorship on the bank.

Poor fil, all that training and no job at the end of it. And a whinging dil.

reallytired · 14/12/2011 15:58

I think your FIL can still get work. A lot of nurses are in the same boat with the cuts. He is not on the scrap heap yet. I am sure he can do agency work.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 14/12/2011 16:11

He is THEIR grandson and?

The position of grandchild doesnt come with a salary.

You are a close family? You appear to believe that only goes one way, towards you.
Dont close families support each other (no I dont mean in financial sense).

I am amazed that you would expect money from your parents. The idea has never crossed my mind.

cheesypopfan · 14/12/2011 16:16

See, OP, I am confused.

Are you annoyed that he 'used' government money, which, at his age he shouldn't have as his 'return' would be less? He made a commitment for three years on a very demanding course. He is so committed to working that, despite all his hard work, rather than sit around, he got a bloody hard, thankless job as a porter. GOOD ON HIM. I know there are many 'young uns' who have qualified and can't get a job who could learn a lot from him.

When he does get a job, his experience in life will be a great asset to him. He also has a much better chance of getting a job by still working in a hospital so getting his face known.

As for your MIL working hard - did she agree to it? Was she happy with it? If so, then what business it it of yours. If not, then WHAT BUSINESS IT IT OF YOURS????? It's their marriage, let them work it out.

As for money for your kids. You have got to be kidding. So, you think its wrong for FIL to 'sponge' off the government, but its your right to expect money from your in laws.

I'm sorry, I know you don't want to be argumentative, but come on!

anneatkins · 14/12/2011 16:17

He started doing a degree, couldn't hack it and did a diploma instead I forgot to add. He also now has a low paid job as a hospital porter as he can't find a nursing position.

Golly, you're pretty damned judgemental, aren't ya!

Have you got a degree in anything?

I do, and I can tell you - t is not the easiest thing.

I am 41 (nigh unto anyway) and I think you're being really harsh.

'Tis the Season to not be a twunt.

SantasENormaSnob · 14/12/2011 16:18

Yabvvu

I suggest you educate yourself as to what a nursing diploma entails.

SantasENormaSnob · 14/12/2011 16:20

Btw I think you sound like a grabby twat.

Pil finances are fuck all to do with you.

anneatkins · 14/12/2011 16:21

*Btw I think you sound like a grabby twat.

Pil finances are fuck all to do with you.*

Quoted For Truth. +1

GrownUpBelievesInSanta · 14/12/2011 16:23

Mum qualified a couple of years ago and I'd say it was an amazing use of resources, even though she is now facing not being able to work for some time, she's perfectly qualified to care for my step dad at home since his brain haemorrhage and save a fortune on hospital and home care.

LapsedPacifist · 14/12/2011 16:25

YABVU. I'm a 50 year old undergraduate. School leavers are pretty crap students compared to the older ones. They know fuck-all about anything much, rarely read books and far too often have a shitty work ethic. They can't be bothered to come to lectures and tutorials, they turn in their assignments late, and most of the time they can't spell properly either.

I don't believe young people should be encouraged to go to university until they have a few years work experience (paid or unpaid) under their belts, and have a clear idea about what they want to to in life.

Just ask academics of any discipline who THEY prefer to teach - teenagers or people who are 40+. See whether they agree with the above. I promise you they will.

tallulah · 14/12/2011 17:03

You do realise don't you that those of us old people got to leave school at 16 and didn't have opportunities for training, like the next generation did?

My DH is 50 and looking for a career change. If yours is the attitude of younger people god help him Angry

SusanneLinder · 14/12/2011 17:04

OK Babaj-I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt as you are now thinking of getting him a congratulations card :)

NHS Banks (at least north of the border) are oversubscribed. Can he try a private nursing agency to get started.My DH works for this lot

www.a24group.com/ and another agency in Scotland.Cos he works full time now,he doesnt get much chance to do bank nursing, but they are always shouting for shifts :)

Also there is
www.newcrosshealthcare.com/

Or google Bupa-they are often recruiting. NHS is always preferred option for nursing,but at least it is a way of gaining some experience.

SusanneLinder · 14/12/2011 17:05

Also my DD is 20 and wants to apply for nursing. I am not 100% sure she has the maturity to get what being a nurse entails. rolls eyes

snuffaluffagus · 14/12/2011 17:11

YABU. What a thoroughly depressing rule book you have OP.

Good on him for going for something he wanted, and good luck to him in finding a nursing position.

reelingintheyears · 14/12/2011 17:34

Good for your FIL that he got on and did something new.

Maybe he won't get a job in the NHS but there's work for nurses privately and doing agency.

Can't have been easy for him with all the young student nurses straight from school/university.

It's hard to re learn when you get older.

My DP re trained as an electrician in his 40's and was working at the same time to support us.
They had loads of exams and study and it took him 3 years.
I applaud him.

reallytired · 14/12/2011 19:08

I think that people who pass an NHS funded degree should be guarenteed a job just like NQT teachers are in scotland. Prehaps there could be a probationary period if someone isn't up for the job.

It would make the governant think carefully about the number of places it provides for nhs job training like physio, OT, audiology, midwifery and nursing.

There are lots of unemployed nurses at the moment.

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