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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the NHS should put an age limit on who they train?

120 replies

Babaj · 14/12/2011 12:57

FIL decided when he was 45 that he was finished with his job (it wasn't a great job, the hours were quite long but the pay was average). So he decided that he wanted to become a nurse and retrained. He recently graduated (aged 51 and now has no job to go into!)
I feel he chose nursing as the NHS pays course fees and he was given grants and therefore basically didn't work for a few years (had to do some volunteering/low paid work in the hospital as he had zilch experience - hence why it took so long!).

AIBU to think that there comes a time when you've got to accept that you missed the point in your life where education was availabe and if you want to change your life for the better - working hard is the way to do it, not starting something new all together? Especially at the expense of the NHS or government supporting you, since it is much more economically viable for that training to go to a young student who will in return give a much longer service to the NHS?

OP posts:
curbyburr · 14/12/2011 13:12

How odd, my cousin who started out as a plasterer, and then did a stint as a broker in the city decided to train as a radiologist at the age of 47. He has struggled for three years through a very tough regime of training and bouts of work experience with at least (i think) two more years of training to go.
He cannot give me a definitive reason for doing this apart from "I fancied doing it" has no gaurantee of employment the other end, and surely a limited career time-wise ahead.
It seems very very odd to me that a) he choose this path and b) that he was allowed to go down it, as I think a load of money has been basically wasted on a whim of his, which he probably won't see through
so YANBU I totally agree with you

Iggly · 14/12/2011 13:12

So what Babaj? so what if he couldn't do his degree - would you prefer he was a benefit scrounger (as I bet you call them)

nethunsreject · 14/12/2011 13:12

Yeah, why doesn't he just fuck off somewhere and die, eh? Hmm Hmm

It is hard to get a decent nursing position for everyone atm.

I bet he's paid more taxes than you have, so why not take the chance to train?!

I can only conclude you are kidding us on. Either tha or you are a truly unpleasant person.

Kladdkaka · 14/12/2011 13:12

YABU and promoting unlawful discrimination too.

Rosa · 14/12/2011 13:14

well done him and good luck in his job search.... YABU

sunnydelight · 14/12/2011 13:15

YABU. I feel sorry for your FIL having such an ignorant, prejudiced DIL.

hackmum · 14/12/2011 13:16

YABU - though maybe if he was 60 I could see your point. In fact, I thought there was a shortage of nurses so surprised he can't get a job. Probably down to the cuts.

Perhaps a bigger issue is the large number of women now going to medical school, many of whom will want to work part-time when they have children. I don't see anything wrong with that, btw, I think it's a good thing. But it could pose challenges for the NHS in terms of how they think about contracts and working conditions and how many people they need to take on.

Original poster
Babaj · 14/12/2011 13:17

So you all think that despite the fact my MIL had to kill herself working weekends for all those years to boost their income is fair?

My mum and dad and MIL are all slogging away at jobs they hate in order to pay their bills and my mum and dad were able to put some money aside for our new ds. MIL & FIL can't do that because FIL has decided he wants a career change.

I can't believe this many people don't agree that you should just drop everything and rely on people around you and the government to fulfil dreams you have, when the majority of people accept they have missed the oppertunity. Whats wrong with open university or night school if you want to have a boost? 50 is too bloody old to be going to uni everyday and haivng no income except grants!

OP posts:
Moominsarescary · 14/12/2011 13:18

Wtf are you on about? You do placements to gain experiance, not voluntary work in hospitals, if doing a degree you don't get a bursery it's all grants.

AmorYCohetes · 14/12/2011 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SusanneLinder · 14/12/2011 13:21

The nursing degree is fecking hard! DH got his with distinction, but many times he felt like giving up and doing the diploma instead. He had to sacrifice a LOT of family life for it. Lots of midnight oil burning time, days out,family occasions he missed out on. All after a full day at Uni/Placement. They don't let up. I was very very proud of DH for getting his degree, cos I know how hard he worked, especially as he had been out of education for many years.

Doesn't take away the Nursing Diploma which is just as hard.Only 3 huge essays short of the decree.So well done to your FIL.

Original poster
Babaj · 14/12/2011 13:21

Iggly what are you on about. Talk about chip on your shoulder! Never even mentioned benefits! I was suggesting he get on with the job he already has and retrain at nightschool or open university if he wants to better himself. Not just stop all income all together and take up a place that someone younger than him could have.

OP posts:
cityhobgoblin · 14/12/2011 13:21

YABVVU ... nurses with life experience can and do make a lasting difference to their patients' lives

Kladdkaka · 14/12/2011 13:23

You in-laws financial arrangements have nothing to do with you. Keep your prejudiced nose out.

Rhubarbgarden · 14/12/2011 13:24

Ah, so this is all about him not being able to give you money for your child is it?

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 14/12/2011 13:24

Yeah its digusting. Fancy expecting the goverment to train you to be a nurse for FREE! What a hidious dream to follow, how selfish.
I expect it was the idea of all the riches and wonderful working conditions that motivated him.

What an utter bastard.

You MIL didnt have to do anything. She chose to do it probably because she felt she wanted to support him.
Anyway I thought you said he got loads of money?
Why did she need to 'kill herself'

Did she kill herself or is that just more emotive toss ?

squeakytoy · 14/12/2011 13:25

My mum and dad and MIL are all slogging away at jobs they hate in order to pay their bills and my mum and dad were able to put some money aside for our new ds. MIL & FIL can't do that because FIL has decided he wants a career change.

Dont you feel a bit of a grabbing twat because your parents are slogging away to provide for YOUR child???

Moominsarescary · 14/12/2011 13:25

And why isn't he working as a porter instead of on nhsp asca nurse doing bank shifts like all the other newly qualified nurses who can't get a job

AmorYCohetes · 14/12/2011 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iggly · 14/12/2011 13:25

I quote: "I can't believe this many people don't agree that you should just drop everything and rely on people around you and the government to fulfil dreams you have"

Rely on the government to fulfil dreams...?!

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 14/12/2011 13:25

I see.
They didnt give you a wodge when your DS was born?

How dreadful.

cityhobgoblin · 14/12/2011 13:26

"just so he could fulfill a deam " .. a career change" nursing is so very much more than that , and at 45 your FIL was still a youngster , and as deserving of support as someone 20 years younger .

I certainly do not think a person in this position should "just accept they have missed their opportunity " ... this argument doesn't stand up at all

GypsyMoth · 14/12/2011 13:26

Ahhh I see the real reason!!

It's because YOUR parents put money aside for your ds!!

And your in laws can't!!!

Bloody hell, pay for your own kid!

GypsyMoth · 14/12/2011 13:27

X posts there mrsdv!!! Glad it's not just me who noticed that little gem!

Moominsarescary · 14/12/2011 13:29

Bloody phone, why is he working as a porter instead of as a nurse on nhsp?

You could do the degree in the last year of the diploma course but I think they stopped that last year due to cut backs