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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the NHS should put an age limit on who they train?

120 replies

Babaj · 14/12/2011 12:57

FIL decided when he was 45 that he was finished with his job (it wasn't a great job, the hours were quite long but the pay was average). So he decided that he wanted to become a nurse and retrained. He recently graduated (aged 51 and now has no job to go into!)
I feel he chose nursing as the NHS pays course fees and he was given grants and therefore basically didn't work for a few years (had to do some volunteering/low paid work in the hospital as he had zilch experience - hence why it took so long!).

AIBU to think that there comes a time when you've got to accept that you missed the point in your life where education was availabe and if you want to change your life for the better - working hard is the way to do it, not starting something new all together? Especially at the expense of the NHS or government supporting you, since it is much more economically viable for that training to go to a young student who will in return give a much longer service to the NHS?

OP posts:
Original poster
Babaj · 14/12/2011 14:18

The topic is AIBU, not I'm going to make a statement and argue until you all agree. I said what I thought, added answers to questions people asked and I can see that clearly I am being harsh to FIL and I will even buy him a congratulations card Smile.

Some posters need to realise that not everyone is an argumentative, and some of the posts on this topic are to generally get an opinion, not to be an opinionated idiot trying to start a row. There is no need for some of the posts on here directed towards me!

OP posts:
MildlyNarkyPuffin · 14/12/2011 14:19
Grin

Bad man, not accepting that he should just suck it up and carry on with his current job to provide your child with a savings account. Why can't he just accept that his life is over and his only purpose is to fund your family in the future?

You are aware that a 25 year old could do the course and then leave the NHS ASAP for the private sector?

TeaCider · 14/12/2011 14:19

Moojie I wish there was a 'like' button for your post. Grin

ReduceRecycleRegift · 14/12/2011 14:20

YABU. I did my nurse training straight from school and packed it in a few years after qualifying, your FIL may well work for 20 years

Lots of people I know who trained young left the profession, younger doesn't mean value for money in terms of years in service

MildlyNarkyPuffin · 14/12/2011 14:21

If it matters to you you'll find that a lot of newly qualified nurses will be struggling to find work as are many who rely on agency work - trusts are cutting back severely.

Original poster
Babaj · 14/12/2011 14:23

Yes I know mildly I have a friend who's just qualified and works at asda!

OP posts:
pigletmania · 14/12/2011 14:24

YABVU and negative, the situation is the same for a younger person too. I think that they have lifted the age restrictions on retiring so he can work for another 20+ years if he wanted to and if his health allowed. If everyone had your attitude we would have given up by now!

Iggly · 14/12/2011 14:24

"The topic is AIBU, not I'm going to make a statement and argue until you all agree"

I thought that was exactly what AIBU was about?! Grin

FunnysInTheGarden · 14/12/2011 14:24

yes, but you weren't just canvassing opinion, you were justifying your view point, hence the responses.

Ciske · 14/12/2011 14:27

Age discrimination is illegal. Plus, an older person who retrains might be much more confident in their choice than a younger person, so I'm not convinced it's a bad investment either.

bowerbird · 14/12/2011 14:34

Please re-think your position, as it's totally out of order. How wonderful to have a FIL who have the courage and stamina to re-train at his age. As others have said, he'll be a fantastic asset to the NHS. I only wish that you might see him as an asset to your family. For God's sake, go out and buy him a card, then bake him a huge cake as well!

crystalglasses · 14/12/2011 14:35

OP, I'm glad you recognise that a congratulation card is in order.

EauDeLaPoisson · 14/12/2011 14:37

I find the comment 'a place that a younger person could have had' sooooooooooo prejudice I just dont know where to start. So what if they could have taken the place? Doesn't mean they'd have stuck it out and qualified and even if they did they may have fucked off and worked abroad after qualifying which wouldnt be giving the NHS much back for their money would it?
And FTR i'd say 95% of the dropouts on my nursing course were under 25

DoesNotGiveAFig · 14/12/2011 14:38

YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU.

My housemate is a trainee nurse. The most valuable people on the course are the mature students (she is 26, her friends are between 35-45) as the majority of the younger students (18ish) have dropped out, don't turn up to lectures, piss about on their placements.

Mature students have the focus, drive and above all WANT to learn and be on the course, younger students may take up the course, decide it isn't what they want and drop out, costing the NHS money.

pigletmania · 14/12/2011 14:40

Well he has his foot in the door doesn;t he as a hospital porter, he can look at any internal vacencies, at least he is doing something to contribute to society instead of sitting back doing nothing! He is in the right environment.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 14/12/2011 14:41

YABVU and unpleasant op.

Im a Mental Health Nurse and I really commend anybody who can stick out the training later in life. The training is really tough and working can be even harder. I have worked on the wards in a high stress environment for 10 years and in that time I have seen many, many newly qualified nurses come and go, some leaving the profession altogether after becoming disillusioned by the reality of nursing.

One of the best Nurses I have worked with is in his 50's and trained later in life. He is totally committed to the patients and has the inner strength to keep going when the going gets tough.....and it can get really tough on and acute psychiatric ward.

It's tough times for qualifying student nurses. In my day a job was almost a foregone conclusion, now our trust has a hiring freeze. I applaud your FIL for following his dreams, what a good role model for your dc(s).

EauDeLaPoisson · 14/12/2011 14:43

I qualified just last year (2010). When I apllied for jobs there were bulk recruitments of like 60 jobs at a time twice a year where I work. The last bulk recruitment they did had SIX jobs available for over 100 applicants. Its very very worrying tbh.

catpark · 14/12/2011 14:51

YABU. Saying he chose nursing so he didn't have to work for a few years is insulting not only to him but to all the other people studying to be nurses. Do you really think they sit on their bums all day and the qualification just falls onto their lap ? No they work at the hospital for many hours while studying. It is not an easy option.

Your MIL decided to work more to support her husband, she didn't have to do that.

Having a moan about how they didn't give you any money when you had your child but your parents did sounds a bit money grabbing. It is not your PIL's responsibility to give you money for having a baby.

Since no-one else has asked this Do you and your partner/husband work ?

EricNordmanfirandMistletoe · 14/12/2011 14:52

YABU and stupid.

languagepedantic · 14/12/2011 14:55

Yet another ageist thread....

Original poster
Babaj · 14/12/2011 15:06

gosh no one ever reads a whole thread before posting do they? For all of you still saying IABU please read my post above.

catpark why would I be sat here moaning about someone training if we didn't work? What a bizaare question!

I am not being money grabbing with regards to saving for our DS. (So their DS's SON and THEIR Grandchild). It's not just MY SON.
We are a close family and they openly said they wish they could help save for his future, and said they would try and make up helping us out when they both have better paying jobs!

OP posts:
DoesNotGiveAFig · 14/12/2011 15:14

YABU. Just because you've changed your mind halfway through doesn't mean people can't state their point of view!

mumeeee · 14/12/2011 15:16

YABU. Well done to your FIL. Wjy shouldn't he train as a nurse? I changed my career last year at the age of 53 and love what I'm doing now,

DoesNotGiveAFig · 14/12/2011 15:17

And you should expect NOTHING money wise for the baby you and your husband made. They are free to do what they like with their money and time.

mumeeee · 14/12/2011 15:23

Babaj Just sen that your parents have put money away for your DS nut your PIL's can't do that, YABGVU to expect your parents or your PIL to put aside money for your DS,
I have 3 DD's now aged 19.22 and 24, I@ve never expected for my parents or PIL to pay for my children, Yes they have given them money from time to time but just a small amount. The same with my children if and when they have children they wouldn't expect me and DH put money away for them,

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