Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate being gossiped about...

69 replies

wellybobs · 13/12/2011 22:20

Mil (who I get on with normally) and my dm went to see dd's nativity play. Afterwards my dm (who is also v gossipy and who I am also annoyed with) informed me that MIL had told her that we shouldn't be keeping chickens as we live in a council house.

We bought our house at market value and have a huge mortagage. It was a council house 25 years ago. She said that there is vermin all over our lawn from the chickens. Vermin? I really have no idea what she means!

Apparently MIL went on to say that we don't clean the chicken run out. We do it every week, thoroughly.

She also said we should look after the inside of the house before we look after the outside. I am fairly tidy and neat. MIL insists on having a key and cleaning our house. When we tried to pay a cleaner, MIL was mightly offended, so I don't think my house keeping meets her exacting standards.

She then told my dm that we don't allow the dcs sweets, yet we eat them. She knows this as she finds the empty wrappers in our bin when she comes. Dcs ARE allowed sweets, just not unlimited amounts.

Am I bu to hate the gossip? Am annoyed with both MIL and Dm (for passing on this information!)

MIL has admitted saying all of these things and just says 'Well it's my opinion...'

OP posts:
Original poster
wellybobs · 13/12/2011 22:20

*mortgage

OP posts:
Crosshair · 13/12/2011 22:22

I would be annoyed.

I also try to keep mine apart as much as possible!

hiddenhome · 13/12/2011 22:22

Cheeky mare. Make sure she doesn't get any fresh eggs Grin

Original poster
wellybobs · 13/12/2011 22:23

The annoying thing is, she regularly takes home boxes of fresh eggs!

OP posts:
TheFestiveWife · 13/12/2011 22:23

Bloody hell! I'd change the locks if I had a MIL like that. Far too interfereing.

UnexpectedOrangeInMyStocking · 13/12/2011 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 13/12/2011 22:24

and your mum just sat and listened to all this? and never said anything in your defence? and broke her neck to come and tell you?

Neither of them are sounding very nice, are they?

As for your mil, she is of the opinion that it's a council house when you have a mortgage in your name on it?

Clearly she's a fool.

I hope you said to her "It is your opinion that we live in a council house? So you think we don't have a mortgage then? You think we haven't bought this house?"

Or is it council built = council house forever more?

Did I already say she's a fool?

scarletforya · 13/12/2011 22:24

MIL insists on having a key and cleaning our house

You must be bonkers letting the nosey cow have a key to your house....get the key back and give her a good dressing down and if she plays the victim tell her it's just your opinion!

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 13/12/2011 22:24

Insist on getting the key back and cleaning it yourself.

1Catherine1 · 13/12/2011 22:24

Well...

You MIL has a key and comes to clean up? Hmm

YANBU to be annoyed they were gossiping about you. But I would let it go if I were you. Families are funny things.. I'd be having words with your mother though... she should know better.

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 13/12/2011 22:25

x-post

what?

I mean, what?

You give her eggs?

And I missed the bit about her insisting on having a key.

Insisting? Really?

You do realise you can tell her to go take a running jump, don't you?

Original poster
wellybobs · 13/12/2011 22:27

MIL has a key because she helps us by picking dd up from school. That is the only childcare she does and we don't ask her to clean - in fact we tried to pay a cleaner to discourage her. We are grateful for help of course. Till doesn't give her the right to gossip like that does it? And no, dm is not at all innocent either. Think she likes to pass on gossip...

OP posts:
Original poster
wellybobs · 13/12/2011 22:28

*Still

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 13/12/2011 22:29

I dont think your husbands mother, talking to your mother is "gossip".

TroublesomeEx · 13/12/2011 22:30

Get the key back.

The deeds will tell you whether or not you can keep livestock in the garden.

It's none of her effin business.

Original poster
wellybobs · 13/12/2011 22:30

I think it IS gossip. MIL told our childminder that dh had once been arrested in his youth, so I know if she talks this way to dm, she is telling EVERYBODY.

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 13/12/2011 22:32

"gos·sip/ˈgäsip/
Noun:
Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.
Verb:
Engage in gossip.
Synonyms:
noun. tittle-tattle - tattle - scandal - slander - rumour
verb. tattle - tittle-tattle - talk - chatter - babble"

It think it probably is gossip!

JaneBirkin · 13/12/2011 22:33

You're not being unreasonable. I'm just not sure what you can do about it.

LauraIngallsWilder · 13/12/2011 22:35

It is most definately gossip.

I would change the locks and find a different carer for my children.
Or move further away.

She sounds horrendous.
I would also be very annoyed that my mother hadnt told her to shut up.

Bohica · 13/12/2011 22:37

What does your Dh/Dp do for a living? I ask because you need your life key back.

LauraIngallsWilder · 13/12/2011 22:37

Remember "No" is a complete sentance!

Original poster
wellybobs · 13/12/2011 22:38

No, I'm not sure.

I know it will upset MIL if I demand the keys back. She enjoys a great relationship with the dcs, which I don't want to jeopardise.

At the same time, I'm a 31 year old woman who feels as if she has no privacy! I feel as if MIL is snooping when she's here.

I try to leave no cleaning/washing for her to do, to discourage her further - but she's still doing it.

OP posts:
Original poster
wellybobs · 13/12/2011 22:40

Dh works from home a lot of the time, but he is on the phone constantly - so doesn't really take notice of MIL letting herself in. He is a finance broker.

OP posts:
LauraIngallsWilder · 13/12/2011 22:43

I would still say "No"
If she wants to jeopardise her relationship with her grandchildren that is her choice but there is no way I would continue to tolerate someone snooping about my house just because I didnt want to upset her.
She isnt showing you anything like enough respect.

Just my opinion!

UnexpectedOrangeInMyStocking · 13/12/2011 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.