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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Re Train Seats

166 replies

ConnorCamden · 13/12/2011 15:57

Last night one train, the one I normally get, didn't show. It was cancelled due to a fault. Myself and approximately 10 other people had to stand around for an hour until the next train. During this time, the platform got very very busy, as you can imagine (people waiting for the next train)

Finally the train arrives. I climb aboard and, like the 25 or so other people, tried to find a seat. I finally found a seat, but it meant politely asking an elderly gentleman to move up so that I can sit next to him. His response? "No. I was here first" I thought he was joking at first, so I smiled and waited for him to move. He said "What are you waiting for? I told you I'm not moving"

I ended up standing for the 1 hour journey.

AIBU to expect somebody to move up to make room for somebody? This was one of those 2 seats (like on a bus) and he was sitting on the seat nearest the aisle not the window.

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 13/12/2011 17:58

I'd have climbed over the old git.

I still recall my mother's exchange with a man who used to put his briefcase on the seat next to him and save the seat for a friend who got on at East Croydon - nearly 50 miles up the line!

She commuted to London every day from Sussex and this nonsense carried on for a couple of weeks. Eventually, she asked him if he could move the briefcase so she could sit down. When he refused because "I'm saving it for my friend", mother gave him the Cold Stare of Death and said very loudly, in her absolutely cut-glass BBC accent "Oh, I do beg your pardon. I'd always assumed it was BUMS what saved seats, not briefcases. So move it!"

Cue applause from carriage and very sheepishly moved briefcase. He never re-offended, incidentally!

GoEasyPudding · 13/12/2011 18:00

My grandfather witnessed an altercation over a bag on a seat. It got out of hand and the bag went out of the window!

He used to tell the story so well and in such a funny way I think it stayed with me and I am always afraid of some sort of agro kicking off on the train!

mummymccar · 13/12/2011 18:03

wahwah I don't remember his full name I'm afraid and his first name was very generic (heard him loudly answer his mobile with his full title mid journey) if my memory serves right it was something like John. He was a manager though and seemed to command a lot of fear from the other passengers on the journeys that I was unfortunate enough to share with him. Could've been because he was a complete ass though. I heard him on another journey loudly boasting that he'd got a new iPhone before any of his team because he deserved it more. Nice.

GoEasyPudding · 13/12/2011 18:11

Mummymccar thats quite a traumatic story. I am wondering why no one helped you when you were crying. At least someone got him off you. Dear me.

mummymccar · 13/12/2011 18:13

To be honest, goeasy he seemed to be a little unhinged. Normally it would have annoyed me that nobody apart from that one guy helped me but in that case I think it would have made things a lot worse and I wouldn't have wanted him turning violent on somebody else. In that case it was easier just to stay quiet. Lots of people offered me tissues and asked if I was ok though which was nice.

oenophilia · 13/12/2011 18:38

A while ago a guy on my morning bus asked another bloke to move his bag. He said "No". Bloke 2 picked up the bag (which turned out to be quite heavy) and threw it into bloke 1's lap. Cue fisticuffs. Stunned silence initially from other passengers on top deck, then two gents in suits pulled them apart and bloke #2 was advised to go downstairs, which he did reluctantly. I was sitting one row back on the other side & then saw bloke 2 sneak his bag open, extract a claw hammer (obviously a builder/builder's mate) and put it up his sleeve. Most people had already got off the bus as they didn't want anything to do with either of them. I went downstairs & warned bloke 2 and the driver that bloke 1 had armed himself. Driver had already called police. Bloke 2 & I got off and the driver shut the doors with just her and armed bloke 1 inside. The Met judged it pretty well so it diffused but it could have turned out really really badly. I was very late for work. Just saying - might be worth doing a bit of a size-up of the person you ask to move a bag first!

KateMiddlet0n · 13/12/2011 18:45

Fucking hell that's one brave bus driver.

alemci · 13/12/2011 18:46

I think it is awful. People are so selfish. I think that man who wouldn't let you sit down was very mean and they say what goes around comes around.

The guy from Vodaphone sounds scary. I wish you had reported him as it is assault.

mummymccar · 13/12/2011 18:46

bloody hell - well done to the bus driver and to you for noticing and reporting!

mummymccar · 13/12/2011 18:48

alemci - I wish I had now too but I just had my head full of so many other things at the moment. After a while I stopped seeing him on the train so he either started driving to work or something happened with his job. I'm sure that Vodafone were probably already aware of him though considering the reactions of all the other staff on the train.

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 13/12/2011 19:11

Why on earth wouldn't you just squeeze past the bloke, I don't understand Xmas Confused. Can't have been in London, I've seen people in London sit on vomity seats rather than stand for an hour in the sardine can.

Dunrovin · 13/12/2011 19:17

You stood up for an hour rather than edge past and sit in the window seat?
It's very common in London for people to choose to sit in the aisle seat, but acceptable to get past and sit by the window. If there was a seat there you could have sat in it! Mad.

RainboweBrite · 13/12/2011 19:20

Why on earth didn't you just squeeze past? So much the better if you managed to accidentally kick him in the shins while doing so.

ThatsNotSantasBabyBelly · 13/12/2011 19:30

While 28 weeks pregnant I feel asleep on the Euston train, always very busy but not at my station. Sat in aisle seat due to frequent toilet trips.

Awoke just outside Euston, packed train, people standing. The only seat empty next to me Blush

Can't think why someone didn't want to give the large pregnant snorer a big shove for a seat.

festi · 13/12/2011 19:30

wheres the big man when you need him Xmas Grin

jimswifein1964 · 13/12/2011 19:37

Thatsnotsantas, I used to fall asleep regularly on the tube home (was working 12hrs a day 6 days a week plus 2hrs there and back). Fell asleep on empty carriage with bag next to me. Woke to find carriage packed, and a woman very loudly said 'oh look, the lazy selfish bitch has decided to wake up and move her bag now' . I just felt so fragile I couldnt take all the stares, so I got off and burst into tears.

ThatsNotSantasBabyBelly · 13/12/2011 19:38

jimswife Sad

I hope karma bit her on the ass

cat64 · 13/12/2011 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

confuddledDOTcom · 13/12/2011 19:50

I was supposed to go to London with a friend and missed the coach so I got a train and met him. He decided as he'd paid for two seats (he had and had my ticket with him) he was going to make the most of it and wouldn't let anyone sit next to him. At least he had paid though.

I was on a train to London once (on my way to meeting some people from MN and Eastenders Xmas Wink) pregnant and on crutches, I had to spend the whole two hours standing Xmas Sad the train was so packed I couldn't even get in to see if there were seats and no one was going to let me try. Normally I will ask the inspector for help or I ask for help before I get on the train so that a member of staff seats me and no one can argue it.

GoingForGoalWeight · 13/12/2011 19:51

Jimswife - she was a scumbag Angry

KeepInMindItsAlmostChristmas · 13/12/2011 19:53

I would have stood on his foot and refused to move

SwedishKaz · 13/12/2011 19:58

ConnorCamden - that is truly awful. What an idiot!
fab story, wannabe.
Talking of giving up seats, did anyone see this clip of Keanu Reeves giving up his seat on the underground? And she wasn't even pregnant...

A true gentleman.
MogTheForgetfulCat · 13/12/2011 20:04

God, how depressing these stories are - public transport seems to bring out the very worst in people. How can anyone possibly think that their bag deserves a seat?! On my train, the man who refused to let you into the next seat would have had his limbs pulled from his sockets.

Love the YouTube of Keanu, holding that pole he looks just like he did on the bus in Speed Grin.

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 13/12/2011 20:11

I was on the train the other day and a mum with 2 kids and a couple of (small) suitcase got on and sat at a table seat with the bags on one of the seats. When a man politely asked her to move the bags she said 'they are too heavy, I can't put them in the overhead storage'. When he offered to put them up for her she said 'well I won't be able to get them down'. Said in such a rude tone of voice, and with no apology. He ended up standing. One of the kids was only about 2 she could have easily put him on her knee anyway.

I commute to London and I'm always astounded by the number of people sat in aisle seats with their bag on the inside, staring out of the window while the train is clearly getting really full. I always ask them to move bags though.

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 13/12/2011 20:11

I was on the train the other day and a mum with 2 kids and a couple of (small) suitcase got on and sat at a table seat with the bags on one of the seats. When a man politely asked her to move the bags she said 'they are too heavy, I can't put them in the overhead storage'. When he offered to put them up for her she said 'well I won't be able to get them down'. Said in such a rude tone of voice, and with no apology. He ended up standing. One of the kids was only about 2 she could have easily put him on her knee anyway.

I commute to London and I'm always astounded by the number of people sat in aisle seats with their bag on the inside, staring out of the window while the train is clearly getting really full. I always ask them to move bags though.