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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask OH's parents to turn off their unguarded open-flame gas fire when LO is there?

116 replies

TuesdaySusie · 10/12/2011 17:09

Genuinely want to know what other people would do. It makes me very nervous when LO is running around in front of it whereas they seem to think its not a problem because they say they are always in the room with her.
It only takes a second though doesn't it?

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 10/12/2011 17:11

YANBU as it only takes a trip and it wouldn't make any difference if they were right next to her.

ninjasquirrel · 10/12/2011 17:12

YANBU - or talk to them about getting a guard?

Rosa · 10/12/2011 17:12

I would buy a guard and take it with you if they won't turn it off and you are worried.... My father made a huge box thing to cover the big gas fire and I still use it ( Age 5 and 3).... Ever since one summer the smallest was picking the fake coals off.

amerryscot · 10/12/2011 17:14

There is the opportunity to teach your little one about staying away from the fire, and the fact that someone will be in the room with her.

I think that many parents take child-proofing too far and don't teach their children how to manage risks, and then never let their children cook, strike a match, or use an iron (grumpy brown owl emoticon).

valiumredhead · 10/12/2011 17:14

Mine did the same Rosa and tried to eat them Grin!!

Sirzy · 10/12/2011 17:14

How old is your lo?

GypsyMoth · 10/12/2011 17:16

So they think it isn't a problem? Dies that mean they will refuse a guard if you take one with you?

Agree, it only takes a second.

Original poster
TuesdaySusie · 10/12/2011 17:17

She is 2 and a half. They said they have a guard but i think it must be in the loft as they never have it by the fire.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 10/12/2011 17:17

And are you always there when he is or do they babysit a lot?

Original poster
TuesdaySusie · 10/12/2011 17:18

We have just dropped her off there and I had to ask them to switch it off but feel like it will probably went straight back on as soon as we left.

OP posts:
Original poster
TuesdaySusie · 10/12/2011 17:19

They babysit for us on the odd weekend if we are going out somewhere.

OP posts:
Bucharest · 10/12/2011 17:19

Well, YABU to expect people not to have a fire on in December tbh.

As Sidge says, how old is the child? Presumably if they're old enough to be running around then they're old enough to start learning there are rules and no-go areas.

The easiest solution would be to keep the child away from the fire.

wilkos · 10/12/2011 17:20

YABU its freeezing! if you are worried purchase a fire guard from your own pocket and take it with you.

and before you or anyone else suggests it, your dc are you're responsibility so YOU need to buy it

NearlyMrsCustardsHardHat · 10/12/2011 17:20

YABU

I'm very pro teaching respect for dangerous surroundings and as such my parents never covered their ponds and fires never had guards around. My children were taught never to go near either without a grown up holding their hand and when they were very small we mimicked touching hot things and pulled a sad face whilst saying "OW! No!" none of mine ever went near them

If you're that worried stay with them at all times. But YABU to expect someone to install precautionary measures in their home.

coccyx · 10/12/2011 17:20

Buy a guard. You would never live with yourself if something happened

Sirzy · 10/12/2011 17:23

Hmm Ds is 2 and knows not to touch the fire (or radiators) if the fire is on he isn't left alone in the room.

I think expecting them to have a guard for the odd day unless you are willing to buy it is expecting to much.

Bucharest · 10/12/2011 17:25

Of course they turned the fire on as soon as you'd left! (and I don't blame them!)

If you are that worried, pay a babysitter to have your child in your own home where you can childproof everything.

(there was a study mentioned in a parenting book I read about how children generally are less likely to run into the road, fall into pools or ponds or touch hot things, the less we tell them not to. It's almost a Pavlov dog reaction in reverse, tell them not to do something, they automatically do it, even if it's something unpleasant)

Never bought any of that childproofing stuff myself.

TidyDancer · 10/12/2011 17:26

Well YABU to expect them to turn the fire off since it's fricking freezing just about everywhere right now! YANBU, however, to expect them to have a guard up. Take one with you, they can't argue then.

pigletmania · 10/12/2011 17:26

YANBU at all, I would not go there until they get a fire guard, and if needs be pay for it myself.

exoticfruits · 10/12/2011 17:27

Take a fire guard.

Original poster
TuesdaySusie · 10/12/2011 17:28

We have offered to give them a guard but they refused saying they already had one. Like I say though it must be in the loft because it's definitely not in front of the fire.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 10/12/2011 17:29

Then if it's that's much of an issue why still use them to look after her?

pigletmania · 10/12/2011 17:29

To all those who have said that you should be teaching your child not to go near, and not to touch, but at the end of the day you cannot be 100%, your lo is still a toddler and accidents can happen, you would not live with yourself if anything did, it only takes a second. I would buy one for them or take one myself.

amerryscot · 10/12/2011 17:29

We child-proofed for our first couple of children but soon realised that the correct way to bring them up was to have them respect danger. We never bothered with our subsequent children (no stair gates, fire guards, plug covers, door catches). It's actually pretty easy to tell them 'no', and you are investing in their futures.

WorraLiberty · 10/12/2011 17:30

I'm normally not one for childproofing the feck out of homes but open fires do need guards. The reason being, if she happened to just stumble in front of it, she would go straight into the fire. So it's not all about telling her not to touch it.

That said, you need to buy one and bring it with you.