To ask OH's parents to turn off their unguarded open-flame gas fire when LO is there?

[TuesdaySusie]

Genuinely want to know what other people would do. It makes me very nervous when LO is running around in front of it whereas they seem to think its not a problem because they say they are always in the room with her.
It only takes a second though doesn't it?

Too many things can happen. I was about 6 when I tripped over the dog and fell head first into the fire on Christmas Eve. Luckily we had a guard so I got a bruise and the guard got a huge head-shaped dent. It could have been so much worse.

Having that guard does not mean I am not able to assess risk or appreciate danger, it does make me very thankful and appreciate how lucky I am.

YABU to expect them to turn it off, but they are BVVVU to not use a fire guard.

Btw it is NOT illegal to not have a fireguard.

If an adult with responsibility for the child has not taken due care, and there is an accident, then there is the possibility of prosecution. That does not mean someone is going to come knocking on the gps door and charging them with some criminal
Offence for not having a fireguard.

callmers there is always that risk and if anything happens than yes they can be prosecuted. Yes you are right, if they refuse a guard, than they don't babysit at their house, and they can visit grandkids at the parents house in the winter or colder times. Its up to the op to exercise that right.

Please please get a fireguard and ask them to use it. Last year my ds (2.5 at the time) got a nasty burn on his hand from my parents fire. They actually did have a fireguard, but we'd just arrived, ds said he was cold so they turned the fire on and then my dad went to get the guard. Me and my mum were still in the room, but ds leant forward and put his palm onto the glass plate of the fire. We had 'taught' him fire is hot, don't touch etc.but later when asked he said his hands were cold and he was trying to warm them...probably misjudged where the glass started. Luckily the fire had only just gone on, I dread to think of the extent of the burns if the fire had been on any longer. When you have had to rush your child, screaming in agony to a&e and sat with them while they have their hand dressed, redressed over a period of 4 weeks, there is no way you could be without a fireguard. Luckily it all healed fine, but it could have been so much worse. Please ignore these people saying 'teach' your child not to run/trip/touch fire, accidents do and will happen. Insist they use a fireguard, any reasonable gp's would be happy to oblige to keep the children safe.

When I read threads like this I am so grateful for my parents, they are incredibly safety conscious and my DCs are probably even safer with them than they are with me and DH!

OP - you can't make them do anything, but I would find another babysitter.

YANBU.I can't believe the poster who aid they'd raised their kids without fireguards, by telling them not to touch.The stakes are just too high.I know someone who has fingers fused together as a result of falling onto an electric fire as a child.
I still use a small fire guard that stands on the hearth in front of our coal fire even though my youngest is 6.It's not just a case of knowing 'not to touch', i wouldn't trust her not to cartwheel into the fire or something.I think they have to be well past the 'bouncing about' stage ie ten or so before I'd want to take it down.

TBH older people can trip, so can middle aged ones and elderly ones.

The more I think about it the more I think it's just sensible to have one.

I wonder if in our hyper-safe times people have forgotten how scary fire is IYSWIM.

i hope none of the posters who don't use fire guards on an open flame (gas or solid fuel) have cards/letters on the mantle either...one gust as they close the door could be all it takes...

It's a legal requirement in the UK for all radiant heat sources to have a guard where there are children under 12 present. Try DEFRA/ROSPA.

under 12? That's H&S gone mad.
I note that Piglet's link says A) law never been tested (applied), and B) it only says that criminal prosecution is a possibility if an injury occurs and if it's shown that the carer did not take "reasonable" precautions. A guard is not the only way to take reasonable precautions. The OP's inlaws could probably successfully argue that being present at all times was a reasonable precaution.

Would that include radiators, too?
I once viewed a house for sale that had whopping great big guards over every single radiator, they had an over 2yo child, yes I did think "PFB".

In OP's case I'd prefer a guard too, as near as I can understand the situation. But maybe not once the child was over about 3.5yo. That said, we have a wood-burning stove & probably got ride of the guard before youngest was 2.5yo. That sort of decision depends partly on family dynamics & personalities, too.

YANBU. Fascinating to see the number of people who think you can just tell a two-year old to stay away from the fire and the two-year old will obey. Some two-year olds, maybe, but not the majority.

We had a gas fire, and we always had a guard around it when DD was small.

I think the OP's in-laws are being very unreasonable. I know other people have said, "Well, if you don't like it, don't leave your child there" or "Take a fireguard around yourself and make them use it," but it's about tact, isn't it? Saying something like, "I'm sorry, I won't leave my child here unless you put a guard up" is not an easy thing to say without massively offending the in-laws. I think possibly bringing your own guard round every time is the best solution, but you'd have to do it diplomatically. Possibly better would be for the DP to ask his mum and dad where their guard is and then offer to go and get it.

You would never had a child in a car without a carseat, you would not have an open fire without a guard when there are children about imo.

There are so many horror stories on here from people, why on earth do people take the risk with their child's life.

Hackmum- I don't think it need be massively offensive. The dad just needs to explain that they aren't happy to leave their child to be babysat without a fireguard. If the gp's don't want to use a fireguard then at the end of the day its their decision. It doesnt matter how illogical it seems- the onus is on the parents to make other babysitting arrangements. If they suspect that the gps will take down any guard they bring over the moment they're out the door - then ditto.
Your Childs life is the most precious thing- it's not worth taking risks with. But you've also got to recognise that the only people with a responsibility to child proof their house are the parents. Any one else you visit or ask to do you the favour of babysitting, can't be forced. You can ask, but it's your responsibility to make other arrangements if you aren't happy. This is about fireguards but it could equally well be about stair gates, smoking in the house, level of supervision .... At the end of the day it's YOUR child and your duty to only leave them in situations you're comfortable with. As it sounds like this is daytime weekend babysitting - the other alternative is of course take the child with you for shopping or whatever it is you want to do. Or one parent stays home. There are ways around this. It may not be as convenient as dropping your dd with the inlaws but safety comes high above convenience

I agree. And I think that if the gp's don't see the importance of guarding an open fire they are not people who should be babysitting.

In my large extended family we have real candles in the Christmas tree, have done since the 19th century.

But this is on the understanding that every parent will be physically holding onto their child for every single second the tree is lit. Same with the open fire; warning is given and every child is lifted onto a parent's lap.

Imo that is the level of supervision you need with children under school age and open flames.