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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want him to touch my clitoris

56 replies

sleeplessinseatle · 09/12/2011 23:42

He doesnt. Just doesnt. I know this is a ridiculous thing to say, but looking back on 10 years together he never has really.

How the hell do I fix this without it seeming like I'm being critical and unappreciative and in a way that makes him take notice. I'd really like to improve things for me because I can't remember when he last gave me an orgasm for us

OP posts:
lisad123 · 09/12/2011 23:43

Maybe really daft answe but; tell him or show him

GlitterySkulls · 09/12/2011 23:55

guide his hand/tongue there & make appreciative noises- fall silent & be unresponsive when he moves away from your clit- he'll soon twig.

alternatively, just tell him you'd like your clitoris to be rubbed /stroked /licked/ whatever.

Deuce · 09/12/2011 23:57

Have a wash?

GRIN DO NOT GET YOUR KNICKERS IN A TWIST, OR MAYBE DO COS THE SENSATION MIGHT BE NIIIIIICE!

Icameheretotroll · 10/12/2011 00:08

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duckdodgers · 10/12/2011 00:12

Need more info - does he an aversion or is it you have just never told him waht you like? Why is this being critical??

CalamityKate · 10/12/2011 00:14

Does he know what one is?

Trouble is, if you've been appearing to enjoy sex for all these years without him touching it, he might well ask crossly why you've never told him before.

Could you do the old trick where you say "Ooh, I was reading Cosmopolitan today and apparently I've got this little nubbin that feels REALLY good when it's touched! Shall we give it a go later? It might make sex EVEN BETTER for me!"

GlitterySkulls · 10/12/2011 00:15

Icameheretotroll - are you getting a clitoris & G-spot confused?

Mumcentreplus · 10/12/2011 00:16

most women have one...take his hand and say..this is where is feels good

Original poster
sleeplessinseatle · 10/12/2011 00:17

duckdodgers
I think we have fallen into a crappy routine. Feels like an achievement when we even have sex these days. Am going to try just biting the bullet and asking him (nicely) to touch my clit next time during foreplay.
I just hope he takes it on board.
I guess IABU. All I really want is a moan about how bad my sex life is. It makes me sad. :(

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 10/12/2011 00:19

bad sex sucks...

Spuddybean · 10/12/2011 00:20

can i ask if he goes down on you? if so, what is he licking?

HugosGoatee · 10/12/2011 00:20

No, good sex sucks.

buzzswellington · 10/12/2011 00:22

You should probably go with Calamity's suggestion. You can't put this on him if for 10 years you've said nothing, the poor (ignorant) bugger.

Icameheretotroll · 10/12/2011 00:24

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Redrubyblues · 10/12/2011 00:25

Take his hand and guide him

Original poster
sleeplessinseatle · 10/12/2011 00:25

spuddybean
he does go down but its more general licking rather than focussing on the clit.

OP posts:
Spuddybean · 10/12/2011 00:28

just licking what? sorry to be crude but for me licking of the clit is the point of oral! maybe that's just me then Blush

Original poster
sleeplessinseatle · 10/12/2011 00:30

buzzswellington
Things used to be better but I think my self esteem has been so low for so long (due to a congenital breast problem) that I guess deep down I've always felt just grateful he wanted to have sex with me at all.

But now I have had corrective surgery and think I look vaguely attractive, I want to improve things for us both. And part of that is if I orgasm through sex with him I'll want to initiate it more.

OP posts:
Moominsarescary · 10/12/2011 00:30

Oh dear, maybe what glittery said

Feminine · 10/12/2011 00:31

spuddy no not just you Wink

Moominsarescary · 10/12/2011 00:33

I didn't think I had a g spot until I was talking to other students who had seen a video about it, me and dp watched it togeather and he found it no problem

Original poster
sleeplessinseatle · 10/12/2011 00:33

Am going to try glittery's suggestions.

OP posts:
CadetDevilcat · 10/12/2011 00:37

I'm pretty sure your DH/DP knows what a clitoris is ......maybe he just doesn't know where it is and if you have spent the last 10 years letting him know that you are getting some sort of sexual pleasure he won't know what he isn't doing right for you

Have you ever masturbated in front of him ...... try it if you are comfortable with it, let him see where you like being touched

Its not that surprising that a lot of men are not au fait with female genitals - I remember a thread on here not so long ago where some women didn't even know that they had a seperate hole for peeing and always thought that urine came from their vaginas!!!!

Come on girls! Tell your men what you like and don't put up with a mundane sex life Grin

Original poster
sleeplessinseatle · 10/12/2011 00:40

Yes, I'm sure he knows what it is :o

OP posts:
tethersjinglebellend · 10/12/2011 00:40

"How the hell do I fix this without it seeming like I'm being critical and unappreciative and in a way that makes him take notice."

Sit on his face?

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