to want him to touch my clitoris

[sleeplessinseatle]

He doesnt. Just doesnt. I know this is a ridiculous thing to say, but looking back on 10 years together he never has really.

How the hell do I fix this without it seeming like I'm being critical and unappreciative and in a way that makes him take notice. I'd really like to improve things for me because I can't remember when he last gave me an orgasm for us

Can you shift position slightly whilst he is furtling around down there, so he gets it accidentally? Then make a big fuss about that being even better than usual?

And if he doesn't help finish you off, I'd do it myself. With a sex toy. If he doesn't like it, or thinks that means he is not enough for me, well...

I wouldn't confirm that, though!

Should say that I know I am lucky and DH is a quick learner, especially if he thinks he'll be getting more if I'm enjoying it! Can you harness that?

It amazes me how ignorant and basically crap at sex some men are. Jesus. He has never touched your clit in 10 years of sex? I would just be blunt and task him to.

And PMSL@ the men that say 'that's my job' - major dickheads.

Could you say show me how you like to be touched. Then you can show him how you like to be touched.

I would work through a few select episodes of sex and the city and discuss if you want to try this that or the other. There is one where Miranda has a guy that she fakes it with, and (ahem) comes clean and then shows him where it is.

Also you have to make noise when he is going in the right direction, and less when he isn't.

I really like it when you do x is a good sentence to use.

Any bloke worth his salt will LOVE it if you touch yourself in front of him!

My DP really gets off on it.

XH used to slap my hand away as if I were a toddler fiddling with stuff in the supermarket. That's just one reason he's an ex.

I don't think that being discreet about it will help anyone, least of all you. Get on top, lean back (that could be a personal preference) and get on with it. He gets to see what you are doing and you get double the fun.