To think that in my experience and from threads on here,that on the whole men are more acepting step parents than women?

[ledkr]

I thought it for a little while now. I was raised by a step father who was very kind and took his role seriously,I am remarried and dh didnt think twice about taking on dd and is very supportive of my grown up sons too.
On the other hand some of my closest friends have married men who have children with a previous partner and seem very bitchy about them and give their partners a hard time if they want to spend time or money on them.
My exh partner tried to lay down the law about when he could and couldnt see our children but fortunatley he told her to bog off.
A friend of dh has just had her dd's father tell her he doesnt want to see her anymore as its causing trouble in his "new family" his wife doesnt like him seeing his dd apparently.
Am i just unfortunate to have had these experiences? Im sure there are many great step mums out there,maybe we dont hear about it enough.Speak up ladies,change my mind.

I would say that you were spot on prettyfly. You would think that the birth mother would be overjoyed that her DCs were loved and welcomed in the other family and would be secure enough to realise that it takes nothing away from her.
I think that it is just as well that I didn't go ahead with being a step mother because I don't think there should be boundries.

As ever prettyfly speaks such sense and sums up many things that are true or have been for me during my step mothering years. Things have got better (but still far from ideal) as the DSSs have got older, however their mother still has huge control over them (and in turn us) even at 18 and 16, they say 'we get told where we are going and when, anything for a quiet life'.

I am so sorry prettyfly that your 'lot' continues to be so arduous and harmful - I keep my fingers crossed for an easier future for you.

....breathes a sigh of relief that the step kids mother has fucked off gone off to live in Europe as coping with the kids is enough to deal with, let alone an interfering ex....

You will also find that it's step mothers who post on here in general not step fathers!!

My DSDs step father is a nasty piece if work, he won't do anything with DSD unless he has too, her mum uses as a pawn and does nothing with her either... That could be why she wants to live with me, her dad and her brother!!!

If anything since DP and I got together I've encouraged more contact, supported him through court when the exW stopped contact when her solicitor told her she couldn't change DSDs name.