Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be in awe of WOHM???

80 replies

SnakePlisskensMum · 08/12/2011 18:24

Don't want this to be patronising or creepy creepy but how the hell do you do it???

I had a great career for years, high powered, highly paid, long hours. I always said that if I was lucky enough to have kids I would want to stay at home with them until they went to school (circumstances permitting). I was lucky enough to do this and loved it but as my youngest has just started school and DH's job is now not that secure I decided that it was time for me to contribute to the family funds. I retrained in an area recently which means I have a 'trade' and I have set up my own business which is only just starting out but growing quickly.
I cannot believe how stressed I am! I am highly organised but I am so used to being able to do stuff in my own good time. Now there's deadlines to meet, clients to see and I can't seem to fit in all the other stuff I used to do. DH does his fair share too and is brilliant with the kids.
I am now in awe of people that have to/choose to work whilst having young DC. My mate was left a single parent when her DH left her and she did it all alone, working from when her DS was 6 months old. I have the utmost respect for her.
As I said, I'm not patronising, just really, really admiring and I admit it, naive!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 08/12/2011 18:29

Well there are many answers to 'how the hell do you do it'

Some people have lots of support and some have very little

Feminine · 08/12/2011 18:33

I have forgotten what WOHM stands for?

Bonsoir · 08/12/2011 18:33

I recently caught a glimpse inside the home of a very high-powered banker friend of DP's (former classmate) - she has four children, the same husband as always, lives in a very smart apartment building and does all the right things; oh, and has all-day maid coverage (two full timers) and an au pair.

It was a bit of a let down to discover she lives in a hovel (albeit a large one). But I suppose something has to give!

laptopdancer · 08/12/2011 18:35

I think the worst thing for me is the feeling that Im not doing anything at its 100%...work or home. And the downside for me has been weight gain.

NeuromanticisedVisionsofXmas · 08/12/2011 18:35

2 full time maids and an aupair and she lives in a hovel? She might want to sack them and get some that actually do something then!

PosiesOfPoinsettia · 08/12/2011 18:39

Yabu. There are so many variables.

Bonsoir · 08/12/2011 18:40

LOL there are definitely organisational issues now that I am alerted to them! Why, for example, does her maid show up at school every day with a shopping trolley with things like six-packs of loo roll? Internet shopping would help a bit!

wordfactory · 08/12/2011 18:40

I think it depends what job you do, what job your partner does, how much support you have around you. Some scenarios are easier than others.

barbie007 · 08/12/2011 18:45

YABU to be in awe. All the working mums I know have a cleaner and a childminder/nanny . I'm in awe of the SAHMs who do it all by themselves

callmemrs · 08/12/2011 18:46

What's the saying... If you want something done, ask a busy woman Wink

TheLastChocolate · 08/12/2011 18:46

feminine WOHM = Working Out of Home Mothers.

SantieMaggie · 08/12/2011 18:46

what does wohm stand for?

thebigkahuna · 08/12/2011 18:47

Not sure.

A WOHM with one child, good childcare and family nearby wouldn't get as much admiration from me as a SAHM of three or four little ones and no family around.

WidowWadman · 08/12/2011 18:49

barbie007 I must be in the wrong area - all the working mothers I know (including myself once I return) don't have a cleaner, couldn't afford it after childcare. The nursery nurses don't come to my house to clean either....

Don't think it's anything to be in awe about. but then i live in a tip anyway

Feminine · 08/12/2011 18:50

Thank you lastchocolate

I have been abroad a while :)

wordfactory · 08/12/2011 18:51

The vast majority of women in the UK work. The vast majority do not have cleaners or nannies. Most are doing the best they can because they have no choice.

Pantofino · 08/12/2011 18:52

In awe? You have to be organised and in an ideal world work for an understanding employer. I personally in awe of anyone who has 2 or more children and stays home without going completely insane! Grin

bigkidsdidit · 08/12/2011 18:52

Exactly. I have an 11 mo an a full time job but I also have a truly flexible job (academic), an understanding boss, a fantastic childminder, a cleaner, a DH who does 50% childcare and a DS who sleeps trough the night. I have it easy compared to a SAHM with two or three little ones and a DH who works long hours

Original poster
SnakePlisskensMum · 08/12/2011 18:54

Sorry, I should've said, I meant women who do it themselves, without help. Plus, I agree, I never worked as hard as I did when I was a SAHM with 2 kids 13 months apart and no help or support. But its a different kind of organised if that makes sense?

OP posts:
Original poster
SnakePlisskensMum · 08/12/2011 18:55

Or men of course.

OP posts:
SoftKittyWarmKitty · 08/12/2011 18:55

barbie I don't know any WOHM who have cleaners and nannies. Childminders/relatives who do the school run and look after the kids until the parent(s) come home from work, yes, but no-one who does their cleaning, ironing, housework etc. We do all of that ourselves Wink.

CustardIsMyNemesis · 08/12/2011 18:56

Erm, I'm a WOHM and I don't have a childminder/nanny/cleaner. I work crappy shifts and hardly ever see my DH as he works when I'm not. DH and I split the housework/childcare etc.

It is single parents that I am in awe of, I don't know how I'd cope without DH for back up.

I guess whatever situation you find yourself in, you find a way of adapting?

YaMaYaMa · 08/12/2011 18:56

I will take the compliment OP, if nobody else will Grin

disclaimer: I only work p/t in a crappy job, we are poor and my house is a bit of a tip.

WorraLiberty · 08/12/2011 18:57

But if they do it all themselves without help, surely they have kids who are at school and they work during those hours?

Otherwise they'd need help with childcare.

callmemrs · 08/12/2011 18:57

Agree softkitty. Would be great if the childminder or nursery also through in cleaning, cooking and doing the laundry- but last time I looked, we fit that in ourselves !