to ask you not to buy Christmas presents for teachers.

[Crabapple99]

I have seen several threads on the topic, so want to give my point of view and experiences.

1. Many staff are not allowed to accept a gift above a certain value ( £3 in my school) so these big gifts, especially class gifts, leave staff in a very difficult situation, causing all sorts of paperwork and recording, and leaving us open to accusations of favouratitsm from families, and other allegations

1. Many staff don't want gifts, quite often the item is unwanted, even edibles, if the box is big, heavy, and we already have too much to eat over christams. It is also embarrassing to have to accept.

1. Many staff worry about the reason for the gift, especially if it seems some pupils and their parents feel pressure to keep up: I've been given gifts in the past that when I know the family can't afford even a couple of pounds, it makes me feel terrible. I've had gifts in the past which I suspected were stolen, which makes me feel worse.

1. I don't really think there is a problem with Christmas cards, but even then, as someone who could easiluy have 300 pupils on my timetable, even then that can get a bit overwelming, not to say meaningless.

1. A very small token, such as one of those tiney boxes from thornton's with just two chocolates in, is a nice way of acknoledging when a teacher has really gone above and beond, for your child, but even that is unnessesary rreally.

Hope I'm not coming across as a scrooge! I love christams, but dread this aspect of it.

crabapple - I believe I have been on other education threads with you before where we have had very very different experiences of schoos and education. There was one about a child missing time from school, aged 4y, from a virus if I recall and you felt this was completely unreasonable and would lead to a life of non attendance and potential failure.

I am very curious as to the type of school(s) you work in as they appear so very different from my own experience.

I think she works in cloud cuckoo land

tmmj - me too, I always send a thank you note. As said before I also send my class a card and small gift each too.

Following on from my last post. DD1 works in London and I have worked as a teaching assistant in various schools in Cardiff. Neither of us have ever seen a policy about nor accepting gifts. Also none of the schools had a gift bin. Yes chocolates and biscuits would go into the staff rooms. But they were shared by staff at break times not thrown away. Crabtree I really think you don't know what you ate talking about.

Well ds gave in his wine and chocs yesterday, none were flung back in his face in disgust, nor were the police called because i gave a nine year old three bottles of wine.

Am i on the schools shit mummy list now?

I had my doubts about Crabapple from the first, but when she said that she is dyslexic, but spells correctly in class because she triple checks everything...hmmm. Really? How does that work? Do the class have to wait whilst she does all of this checking prior to putting pen to whiteboard/typing? Her classes are that patient? Anyhoo, can't stop; I'm off to buy my class, T.A.s , lunchtime supervisor, cleaners, etc. their Christmas gifts. I highly doubt they'll be offended. And I expect Crabapple is too busy to care anyway. She's most likely 'teaching' her lined-up teddy bears/packets of biscuits, or whatever else she does in Crabappleland.

Ha ha! Knackered Woman. You'd be on my 'fab mummy' list.

What a thoroughly bizarre thread!

you're a teacher ???? jesus christ

Read some of this thread but not all of it. When I worked with 16-21 year olds there was a policy within my company not to accept gifts from individuals but to say to them that the whole office would partake if it was going to be very difficult to not accept. We had to do this so it was shown to be public and not a bribe for extra help, favourtism or due to any innapropriate feelings on either part.
I remember one of the girls brought me in a tolberone bar and I knew she didnt have much money but it was her way of saying thank you. I accepted it and immediatly shared it around with my collegues and other young people that were there.
I can well believe there are schools that have policies on these things.

I cannot believe teaching standards have plummeted so far. IF you are a teacher.

I think I can speak for the teachers on here and say it's a very big IF lisaro

If it's the same person she posts on TES too.

Just had to reregister on TES my old name wasn't recognised, how rude.

"Greif"? witherhills?

I haven't had any "grief"

I've just posted my opinion and read with interest the posta I've had in response, some agreeing with me (here and on TES) and some disagreeing.

There's always a few who become agressive and abusive at reading an opinion differant tothir own, but that isn't going to give ME any "greif", is it?

There is a certain tope of bullying triggered when someone who excuses their own (percieved) lack of acheivement in life as caused by some sort of (percieved) disadvantage, then when they come acrtoss someone more disadvanteged than themselves who has achieved more, feel the need to try and belittle that person.

Unjustifide in my opinion, because there are so many morethings in life more importwnt than academic success and career, being a good mother for one, as everyone on Mum's net does there best to be. (You just don't get the certificates)

Personally I wonldn't be particularly happy with myself for jeering at somene elses disability, and I find it strange that soem people are prepared to do so in public, as you'd exepect it to be something done surupticiously, still, thats their problem,

it certainly doensn;t cause me any greif!

Eh?

There is no bullying, crabapple - however, many many people have highlighted inconsistencies in your posts.

It isn't your opinion that you say schools you have worked in won't let you accept gifts - it's a fact. No one in any school around the country has ever come across this practice, bar one very timely poster on TES. That's very strange. And you still decline to name these schools.

And it isn't the first odd thing you have posted.

Pointing this out is not bullyng.

Crab why not PM a couple of us with the names of either the councils or the schools. I have friends up and down the country who are teachers so would be easy to find out. I'd like to give you that chance to be proven correct.

I await your PM.

Discussion is not bullying, Feenie, jeering, agression, etce that is bullying,
I've read the TES thread, when I saw it there were at least 4 posters agreeing with me, which was bout half the total number of posters there at the time, and there are anthor half a dozen on this thread too. And many of the ones who disagree havn't read the bit in my original post where I said a small token of appreciation is nice to recieve. My arguement is against the expensive, pressurising, meaningless,awkwud, embarreassing, inconvient,etc etc, and hI have pointed out that many teachers cannot accept gifts, and others have nacked me up on that too.

"and there are anthor half a dozen on this thread too"

Could you remind us who agreed with you, because I don't remember seeing any?

Still happily waiting for the PM crabapple

This isn't about your opinion of whether teachers should receive presents or not, crabapple - it's about the policy which you insist exists and only ONE person says they have come across something similar.

As for the jeering - you invite it on yourself with your outlandish claims re viruses, juice and policies, not forgetting your insistence that you are a qualified 'pathologust'.

Crabapple99, my personal gripe with your post is the fact that you seem to think you can speak for all teachers.

My school and LA do not have the kind of policy you are citing and as I have said earlier on this thread for various reasons I love and appreciate recieveing cards and gifts.

Surely what you should be doing is sending this message home from your school - not speaking on behalf of all teachers here on Mumsnet.

so Feenie, you feel justified in jeering at me becuse I've managed to get three degrees, in spite of duslexia, and so am qualfied to understand soem of the common misconceptions about these issues?

Like I said, the greif isn't mine!