to ask you not to buy Christmas presents for teachers.

[Crabapple99]

I have seen several threads on the topic, so want to give my point of view and experiences.

1. Many staff are not allowed to accept a gift above a certain value ( £3 in my school) so these big gifts, especially class gifts, leave staff in a very difficult situation, causing all sorts of paperwork and recording, and leaving us open to accusations of favouratitsm from families, and other allegations

1. Many staff don't want gifts, quite often the item is unwanted, even edibles, if the box is big, heavy, and we already have too much to eat over christams. It is also embarrassing to have to accept.

1. Many staff worry about the reason for the gift, especially if it seems some pupils and their parents feel pressure to keep up: I've been given gifts in the past that when I know the family can't afford even a couple of pounds, it makes me feel terrible. I've had gifts in the past which I suspected were stolen, which makes me feel worse.

1. I don't really think there is a problem with Christmas cards, but even then, as someone who could easiluy have 300 pupils on my timetable, even then that can get a bit overwelming, not to say meaningless.

1. A very small token, such as one of those tiney boxes from thornton's with just two chocolates in, is a nice way of acknoledging when a teacher has really gone above and beond, for your child, but even that is unnessesary rreally.

Hope I'm not coming across as a scrooge! I love christams, but dread this aspect of it.

I am a teacher and I appreciate every gift I receive especially when I am told that the child has chosen it, usually it is something appropriate showing the child has got to know me as much as I have got to know them. I buy my class presents and treats all year for celebrations, rewards etc. (not just sweets) I find the giving and receiving gifts a lovely experience.

I loved every gift I got and still look at some years later and think....thatvwasvfrom lovely xxxx.i did not expect them but mostvteachers had their desks covered with goodies at xmas and summer.

I appreciate your OP crabapple but most people are 'graspy' whether teachers or not, if we ran a ballot amongst teachers at our school regarding presents, most would fall into the "we don't want them, but will happily accept them and then slag the off amongst ourselves' category.

As a class rep I vowed never to do a 'staff gift' collection. Each parent can do what they like. Some years I given a gift, some years I haven't, but I've always said thank you because my son's education thus far has been good enough.

I HATE the pressure of organised gift giving (you must give a tenner, the teacher has seen a nice coat in Next) but I do think the small (usually horrible) little gestures MEAN more... I bought some compact mirrors on a 3 for £10 offer, they're lovely, there's not enough women in my family to give 3 away so teacher is getting one... a gesture of thanks, never to be repeated as I wouldn't go out and specifically pick a gift. Next year, well maybe there'll be another 3 4 2 offer that leaves something 'spare', maybe not, but there's always a thank you.

So really, the shit a teacher receives is worth more (and less) than anything else. Be thankful you're appreciated if you get nothing, a small homemade papier mache lighthouse, or some chocolates you can rewrap and give away.... as for £500 in vouchers.... pfft, fuck off. You give me a voucher for Next for being a decent parent, I'll give you a voucher for a paid job well done.

Its not unappreciative. crabapple YANBU. But neither am I to occasionally want to gift you... but if you want a diamond rather than a box of celebrations... well speak to the crazy 'collection freaks' and tell them you'll be happy with nowt. You'll be happy and so will I!

Still no reveal of the imaginary council then, I see

She is a parent who hates giving presents! There is no council IMO-or I will only believe it when they are named and shamed.

I think you are right, exoticfruits.

Unless she actually names it can't be true. She won't dare name one wrongly because several people will live there!

I predict a continuation of the careful avoidance in naming said council - for that same reason

I want presents; wine and chocolate preferably. I'm giving chocolates to my students next week. OP- what is WRONG with you?! It's the geture that's nice.

I expect that we will have a thread soon that you can't buy chocolate for the students soon toptramp!

I don't get a present from the teacher for

helping out in class

listening to my son read

helping with homework

assisting with the nativity etc

going swimming with the kids

etc etc etc

all unpaid I must say and I work as well.

Wrong school then nikon-we gave presents to parent helpers if they were regular.

I havent reat the whole thread but my dd's school are always very apprecitive of pressies but at the same time dont hold it against the ones who cant afford it or dont brign one in.

I cant afford to buy one this year but my dd loves cooking so we are going to bake them somoe christmas biscuits which I can afford to make.

I know the teachers and teaching assistants do a job that is paid but having worked in early years for years and still doing so I know what hard work they all do.
Ps DD knows christmas is a special time and wants to share it with her teachers.

what a load of utter bollocks. Tis made up. Or show us a contract with this in please? I can dig my old contracts out if needbe, certainly has nothing like that, or DH's current one. As if a council/LEA would say any gifts given to an individual must be handed over then be bought back if it was a strict no gift policy, then it would be just that, no gifts allowed but to allow people to accept them then they have to buy them back - ha, if I didn't have earache and infected sinuses I'd be on the floor rolling with laughter by now.

DS has started at a school nnursery and he will be making all 4 members of staff a peg doll angel and a lolly pop reindeer!

We get present Nikon - and a little Christmas party for all the parent helpers.

I still think Crabapple is talking a load of bollocks, a teacher who cant spell, who has a side job as a pathologust. I dont think so.

pixel - inspired thanks did just that, luckily as there are 5 not 4!

So, go with a tin of nice biscuits today (as we happen to be going in later) or send in 5 individual bits sometime next week - when i've found a spare half hour to go shopping & wrap them?
thinking Plan A....

How odd, I'm a teacher and love presents (well, who wouldn't ??) but I teach secondary so don't get much that said, my favourite is a card with a heartfelt message of thanks - that means more to me than any box of Chocs / flowers / wine.

At my DCs school, parents have been known to club together and buy one big joint present. One year the teacher got a £100 spa day from the class and as far as I know, she was thrilled with it .

All my teacher friends like them, but certainly would never expect them (and im talking about half a dozen good teacher friends I trained with donkeys years ago) sometimes it is the one time of the year when you really feel valued and appreciated ( hence my comment that a heartfelt card means soooo much more).

At my DDs school, not only do teachers get presents and cards but they also give the children small gifts (perhaps a bookmark or a pencil with a funny topper). Even the parent helpers get small gifts at the end of the year and a thank you card from the class they help (which makes me cry TBH).

agree with shrinkingnora haven't ever heard of them not being allowed to do so. My dd has SN's: her teacher and the SENS team last year helped her come on tremendously, we wrote the cards and then got a medium box of chocolates that was addressed to the teacher, the TA's and the SENS Team. She said thankyou and was looking forward to sharing them out at breaktime. I think it puts a smile on their face and reminds them that we parents do appreciate all the work they do with our DC's x

After being out all day I came back and Crab still hasn't named. I therefore assume that she made it up.

Cripes OP you got a clipboard and whistle and act like a Major General at the school gatesl?

'Too heavy to carry' - really, honestly, that's a reason?

And if one teacher accuses another of favourisim over a tin of Roses they need a psych consult.

Share the love and appreicate woman and just say thanks, not write a thesis about it. It's such a no brainer. Its a gesture from those who want to not because they have too. I give if I think the teacher and TA is good at their job and my DC's are happy and making progress. I have not given anything one year as the teacher was a total doofus on oh so many levels.

But you do want two Thorntons that you can quite happily shove in over Christmas without feeling overloaded, but 30 kids = 60 chocolates after all!

Maybe you'd prefer it if they all marched in and told you to have a shite Christmas and give you the V's - would that make you feel better?

You dread present and cards from kids at Christmas?!?! You so need to get a grip and be apreciative and thankful.

On one school there was a gift bin behind the coffea counter, every gift ernt straight in, you could apply to take something out if you particularly wanted, and give a donation to school funds, but most were just thrown in the skip at the end of term,.

It is all remarkably silly-but this is the silliest of all!! As I used to supply teach I went into a great many schools at the end of term and they are all awash with chocolate at the end of term-opened and handed around ones! Nothing went on a skip!

Perhaps if the OP tells us which council it is, we can all email them showing our disgust at the policy, especially as the gifts received are often given and received with massive appreciation. That would be a kind thing to do OP

OP hasn't because it doesn't exist. It is her way of trying to stop the practice because as a parent she doesn't want to do it! (teachers really don't mind if you don't-a simple 'thank you' at the classroom door would be fine)

There would also be many threads on TES moaning about this policy - if it actually existed. I mean, skip - my arse.