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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cry because a child died on the way to school.

83 replies

MitziKinsky · 07/12/2011 20:14

In a road traffic accident.

I have no more details except they went to DS1's school (the year below). School has held a mass, and informed all parents.

I am sitting here in tears; thankful it was not my child, my heartbreaking for the family of a child I've never met.

OP posts:
FreudianSlipper · 07/12/2011 20:47

:(

very sad totally understand why you are so upset

MotherMucca · 07/12/2011 20:50

God no, not unreasonable; human.

Bellavita · 07/12/2011 20:53

How awful for you Sad xx

I work in a school and we had a boy die in February (he was 12). He was the loveliest sweetest boy.

Another boy in our school in September was beaten up so badly one Saturday night it didn't look like he was going to survive. He was in coma for three weeks. He has now come back to school, what a bloody miracle. I nipped to the cafe at break time for a sandwich and he was in the queue and I just wanted to grab him and give him a hug. He has touched everyone's heart.

I have boys of the same age, 12 and 15 and situations like this, just make me so thankful my boys are safe.

Groovee · 07/12/2011 20:59

2 children have died close to us in hit and runs after school. Both times I was so upset and kept thinking of the poor parents and how they'd got up that morning not realising their child wouldn't be there that night. Sad

marthastew · 07/12/2011 21:03

Poor poor little thing. Desperately sad. Life is so fragile.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 07/12/2011 21:40

I totally understand why it's upset you. My worst fear is something happening to my beautiful DS and events like this just bring home how fragile human life is. Sad

And I don't give a rat's ass how unmumsnetty it is, so (((hugs))).

kiwimumof2boys · 07/12/2011 22:45

My aunty lost her 2 year old 32 years ago when she was hit by a car. My cousin who died and my sister were just a month apart in age. It must have been pretty horrible for my aunt when my sister turned 18, 21, graduated form Uni etc . . .
i don't think you ever really get over the loss of a child. To me that would be the worst thing ever.

chipmonkey · 07/12/2011 23:55

Of course YANBU. My baby dd died in October and it's hell on earth to have buried a child. I also think that where there's been an accident, a lot of parents feel tremendous pain and guilt and constantly think "What if......" even if it was in no way their fault. That poor family.Sad

mamalovesmojitos · 07/12/2011 23:58

Sad YANBU.

daenerysstormborn · 08/12/2011 00:00

yanbu. years ago, dh witnessed a child being knocked over on his way home from work, he stopped to see if he could help, and spoke to the lady who had hit the child. it haunted him for weeks.

MillyR · 08/12/2011 00:05

A child from DS's school died last month. Many parents found it heartbreaking, including those who did not know the family. It is very distressing, OP. I hope you have someone close that you can talk to about it OP, if that will help.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 08/12/2011 00:07

Of course YANBU. My heart goes out to them x

sozzledchops · 08/12/2011 00:07

YANBU -a little boy was killed just round the corner from my house a few years ago when a car lost control and mounted the pavement. I didn't even live here at the time but often when I drive or walk by I think of him and his parents, they had put up a little tribute with his photo at the spot.

Feminine · 08/12/2011 00:08

That is awful. :(

I witnessed a dreadful (fatal) accident 10 years ago.

Its only recently I can even mention it.

randommoment · 08/12/2011 00:12

Of course you're not unreasonable. You're being a human. And I'm welling up in sympathy.

crystaltea · 08/12/2011 00:35

How sad Sad. I expect the driver was careless and/or speeding. I do think there ought to be lifetime driving bans in cases like this; all too often drivers get off scot-free and the incident is dismissed as an accident, when in fact the driver was at fault.

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 08/12/2011 00:58

Oh, the poor family, I'm so sorry. :(

It's too tragic for words. My Dad knew a woman who lost her son in a road traffic accident in his teens. Apparently she used to will her husband to go to work each day as it took all her energy not to cry - once he left the house she used to spend the rest of the day crying.

Sadder still - she used to keep a full bucket and mop out at all times so that if anyone came to the door and inevitably saw her face wet with tears, she would explain it away by saying that she'd been mopping the ceiling... :( :(

I don't even know this woman, but think of her sometimes, and am always reminded of her when I hear stories like this.

midlandsmumof4 · 08/12/2011 01:10

Of course you aren't....Several years ago a local lad drowned in a pool near us. I didn't know him personally but my sons did. I cried my heart out for his family.

BertieBotts · 08/12/2011 01:28

I wonder if you're local to me, Mitzi, something similar has happened recently in our local area. It's desperately sad. :(

Bogeyface · 08/12/2011 01:33

Two girls from my sons then school and the school my DD is at now were killed by a speeding driver. one of them was my GPs daughter. It broke my heart.

The loss of a young life is always tragic and when you are a parent you think "there but for the grace of God...." but when it happens to someone you know it makes it all that much more real.

YANBU at all, infact if it didnt bother you then you should have been worried.

take care xx

BertieBotts · 08/12/2011 01:45

If it is the same one, that school lost a former pupil a few years ago when I was at sixth form age, it was awful, I didn't know the lad personally but I knew loads of people who were at school with him, really shook up lots of us in that year. :(

Thruaglassdarkly · 08/12/2011 02:35

No, no way - why are you even asking??? YANBU!!!!!!!! I am gutted just reading your post. For goodness sake, you are normal and my heart goes out to you.

kiwimumof2boys · 08/12/2011 08:38

oh Chipmonkey you poor thing. Sending you a virtual hug.

ddubsgirl · 08/12/2011 08:45

on the day i had my ds1 the radio was on and and the brother of a girl i knew at school had been killed,couple years before that a girl i knew was killed by a motorbike and they had been many more accidents etc,finally the council gave in a built a crossing over the top of the road outside the school,shame so many had to hurt and killed till they listened :(

NigellaPleaseComeDineWithMe · 08/12/2011 08:54

My best friend at school, Primary Year 2 (I think - long time ago) didn't come back after the weekend - the school was told he had died. It reminds me to make sure the DS' look both ways when crossing a road and don't take any chances.