to really not like the military wive's song...

[KittyFane]

I LOVE Gareth Malone and love choirs and I think it's great how he has put it all together but I don't like the song at all.
I feel unreasonable as I am being made to feel ( by constant press/ radio coverage) that I should love it.
I don't even like it.
Anyone else or just me?

There can be a lot more to being married to someone in the forces than you might think. Being a military wife can be a job in itself really, in addition to whatever else we do, although usually if I have to describe us in terms of DH's job I say 'forces family' to include DS too.

forces have you heard of womens liberation? Feminism?

jasper- I don't think anyone here is anti military .
Just anti the over hyped sentimentality aspect of the Military Wives phenomenon spot on.

forces another for you.

I want to like it. I really do.

But I find it mawkish and corny.

And also a bit sad for the wives whose love couldn't keep their husbands safe.

But if it keeps the X factor off No1, that is fine by me!

jasper please elaborate and I will try and reply.

I've just seen it on youtube. I thought it was much better than the plastic pop that comes from the Cowell factory. The choir are singing about something they care about. So I like it.

jasper, some people would say that focussing your negative feelings not on the military (mainly men, and on this thread referred to almost exclusively as men), but on their wives, is not especially feminist.

I don't personally care to define myself by relation to DH or his job, but in general running down other women for singing a song you consider overly sentimental when their loved ones are in a lot of danger does seem a bit un-feminist to me.

Jasper, yes I've heard of it and even practised it on occasions.

I gave up my job to be a SAHM, my choice, but luckily we can just do it on DH's wage. I WANT to work and I believe I am a person in my own right but I either take a job at the local convenience store or as a cleaner. I haven't got a problem with either job. Any other job I am qualified for, diesel will outweigh the wages.

LRD reread what I actually said please if you want to pick on me by name.

Here, I'll help you along by quoting myself -"I love Gareth, I love choirs, I like the women in this choir, it was a fab TV series, "

It's the media's wringing every last bit of sentimentality out of a situation that makes me cringe a bit. That's where my negative feelings lie.

it's no different to the sob stories ITV wrings out of X-factor contestant's backgrounds before chewing them out and spitting them back into their humdrum lives.

LRD - I grew up in a garrison town with an uncle who was a career soldier. Your "patriotic volunteer" is a rather charming depiction. The military also consists of some testosterone-fuelled laddos that want to get their mitts on some powerful weapons and have a pop at some ragheads.
I still don't really understand why people were suddenly appalled to be involved in Iraq but didn't give a toss about the British army's history of involvement in Northern Ireland for example.

Nothing will disuade me from believing that if you join any of the forces then to be shocked at facing conflict is ridiculous. It is like training as an actor and then being a bit startled that you might have to perform in front of an audience. Even if your job is refuelling planes you are still as complicit in the war machine as someone who pulls a trigger.

But you are still focussing your 'anti' on this choir and the women. That seems quite un-feminist to me, TBH. So does liking Gareth Malone, who is quite openly sexist and makes money out of buying into gender stereotyping children.

It's a lot bloody different! Those wives were in choir training not knowing whether they would have a husband to sing to or not!

which is why it is so ironic that much of the thrust of the "Military Wives for Christmas Number One " campaign is focussed on beating all the" X-factor Hype."

THEY'RE BOTH HYPE

Who do I want to be number one ? The choir. Because I like choirs. And they seem like a game bunch of women.

esta - I am sure you are right there are many reasons to join the military.

I only brought up that one because aitch asked me to clarify a post I made about my friend's feelings about Iraq. It is a side issue IMO.

I am simply explaining how people I know felt at the time. They may have been naive or misguided, but that is how they felt. That's why they felt it 'wasn't what they signed up for'. I'm just trying to explain why some people feel that. There's not a lot of point trying to convince me they should feel differently, as I don't feel that way myself anyhow, and never did.

Oh LRD so was it Gareth Malones Extraordinary School For Boys that sparked the sexist stuff?

LRD I am NOT anti this choir or the women. Stop making things up

sparkling - yes, sorry, I should have been more clear. Sorry, I really did not mean to open that particular can of worms!

I will admit I'm plain not keen on the bloke, and when I initially made the point I didn't care for him, it was before the thread had taken such a serious turn.

I don't like it. But then I don't like that type of music or anything overly sentimental. So it's not personal.

LRD - I wish you came with subtitles. I have terrible trouble following you sometimes!

jasper - I'm really glad to hear that.

I'm sorry if I misinterpreted your post. I understood you to be saying you objected to the 'sentimentality' of the choir, and I thought when you said you weren't 'anti-military' you meant you were against this 'sentimentality'.

Mmm it has a bit hasn't it LRD? I think the original AIBU was that OP didn't like the song.

"Can someone explain to me why women who happen to be married to men in the military are happy to be called "Military wives" ?

You don't get women calling themselves "teaching wives" "Bin man wives" "banking wives" "medicine wives" ."

I think it's because the military isn't just a job, it's a way of life.

When you join the military you join a family. Sounds cheesy but it's true. And if you marry into the military you are marrying in to the lifestyle, the family.

Also if you live in a quarter on a married patch you are even more part of the whole military thang - you socialise with other military wives, your social life revolves around the mess or the HIVE, you become quite defined by your "role" as a military wife. Not all of us do that but for many, unable to work and frequently moving around, being a military wife is what defines them.

Sorry esta, it's not deliberate. I'm just a bit tired I think.

Just jossing with you.
Night all. It has been fun.