to really not like the military wive's song...

[KittyFane]

I LOVE Gareth Malone and love choirs and I think it's great how he has put it all together but I don't like the song at all.
I feel unreasonable as I am being made to feel ( by constant press/ radio coverage) that I should love it.
I don't even like it.
Anyone else or just me?

'When DH joined up he didn't join to kill people, he joined up as an Aircraft Technician. He has been in 25 years and is yet to kill anyone'

My dh never killed with his own gun but he prepared/maintained fighter jets for attacks out in Bosnia and Afghanistan.

Yes kitty, there are dangerous jobs, like bomb detectors and non dangerous jobs. And the guys that do the jobs 'on the ground' are the bravest of the brave. But I guess MN would think that the Taliban and the opium poppies were the better optin.

I love Gareth, I love choirs, I like the women in this choir, it was a fab TV series, but I can't abide the wringing every tear jerking ounce of sentimentality out of every singe situation on TV nowadays.

Or as Esta put it much better,

"Our army has no conscripts in it - these people are professional soldiers. Plenty of people are overseas and away from their families at Xmas - why do we always have to endure this sycophancy over the military?"

if it gets to number one ( and I am soft enough to hope it does ) it will be because of the massive clout of the BBC , and Chris Evans in particular.

WHich makes it no different really from the X-factor offering.

Mine is also an Aircraft Technician Herbietea.

DH has spent most of his front line time in the Middle East doing stop/searches on ships for smuggling, mostly of drugs. He and his workmates have stopped a massive amount of illegal drugs reaching the UK.

When he is on guard duty, if he thinks he is in danger of being attacked he has to wait to actually be attacked before he can do anything to defend himself. So if someone comes at him with a gun he has to wait for them to shoot at him before he can raise his own gun in defence.

There's knowing that when you join up, and then there's standing there watching someone come towards you with a gun and holding your nerve while you assess the situation. Not many people can do that.

He covered for the firemen when they were on strike and although his own pension is now at risk (something he didn't know when he signed up 13 years ago at age 18) he is not allowed to strike to defend it.

The Forces are allowed to defend anything except themselves it seems.

I hate the bloody song. But I admire the people who got off their arses for something they believe in, and I would bet what those women believe in more than anything is not the war or the government or some poncy conductor bloke in a bad Christmas jumper, they believe in their OH and the job he is doing and the fact that he has to come home again safely because the alternative is unthinkable.

When my DH was out in Afghanistan he was talking to our two year old son on the phone. And I heard our son say "that was a loud bang Dad" and my heart just dropped. And I took the phone from him and the call had been cut off.

I felt sick and scared for the next three days, until DH was allowed to call again. Every time the phone rang I hoped it was him and every time someone knocked on the door I was scared it was someone coming to tell me he was dead. When he did ring back he wasn't allowed to tell me what had happened and I still don't know now.

He knew what he was signing up for, I knew when I married him. DS doesn't know, he never had a choice, that's on us because we made the choice for him. But knowing it and living it are very, very different.

A bloke in my year joined the forces as a dentist. He defended his decision saying he was not going to be killing anyone. Some clever bloke replied " No you're not killing anyone, your job is to improve the aim of the killers"

Noone that was so well put.

My last but one comment was a bit ridiculous but then so are many other posts!

LRD the amount of people who buy themselves out or give notice is huge. The Forces are losing experienced personnel which has a knock on effect.

Morale is seriously low due to cut backs and the next lot of redundancies. These attitudes from the general British public do NOTHING to help.

Contrast this to America (ok not an ideal comparison), if the are wearing anything remotely connecting them to the Military, strangers shake their hands and thank them.

It's not just putting their lives on the line, it's the willingness to be away from home in shit conditions for 4/5/6/7 months every year.

In the past 4 years my DH has done 4 month in The Falklands, 4 months in Iraq and 4 months in Afghanistan 3 times. Our DD is 5 and she has no say.

Can someone explain to me why women who happen to be married to men in the military are happy to be called "Military wives" ?

You don't get women calling themselves "teaching wives" "Bin man wives" "banking wives" "medicine wives" .

I have to say ... I do not agree with the war. I can't feel supportive about it. But I can feel supportive towards these women and children. And I can see how people could have got into the military feeling they would be doing one thing and feeling they are now doing something quite different.

I do feel really, seriously conflicted about the ethics of singing about a 'prince of peace'. I'm saying all of this because I want to be clear - but it doesn't change how I feel about these women's right to sing something that helps them get through it.

NoOnes - He knew what he was signing up for, I knew when I married him. DS doesn't know, he never had a choice, that's on us because we made the choice for him. But knowing it and living it are very, very different.

Yes NoOnes, well said. I get this.

Jasper, because we are proud to be married to our husbands who do such amazing jobs. I guess women married to bankers are probably to embarrassed to admit it.

Oh no forces, you just sound vile now. :(

My husband does an amazing job and I am proud of him. but I don't define/describe myself via his job.

I am not having a go, I just think it is an odd and patriarchal label.

LRD - sorry still not understanding your point. People didn't have a conscience about British involvement in Belfast or the Falklands but they suddenly acquired one for Iraq? Sorry just not getting it.
(This obsession - typo)

MincePies - excellent post. This bit says it all - "He knew what he was signing up for, I knew when I married him. DS doesn't know, he never had a choice"
As I said upthread the military are exploited by a media that sells shedloads through sentimental crap. The honest truth of conflict is never laid bare - it is far more palatable to sprinkle poppy petals on it and dress it up with pomp and circumstance. If people really gave a shit about the armed forces they'd be campaigning for better living quarters for families, better pensions etc.
but the interest only lasts as long as the video and once Xmas is over all of these terribly "moved" people won't give a damn.

I have read too many threads slagging off the military, so time to even the score! OK

I think saying it is their choice and they knew what they were signing for is not really the full story, areas of high unemployment have higher numbers of signing up, sometimes people go in for a training in a trade of some kind and aren't really thinking of war, certainly not to the extent that goes on now.

Also if a country is willing to send people off to war they should look after them and their families during and after.

I am against this war, though it was a disgrace to go into Iraq, I don't particularly like the song but will be buying it, don't much mind a bit of emotional manipulation for a good cause.

I remember being a child with a father at war (different country) very clearly indeed, I remember what happened to families who lost the dads and those who got them back quite damaged in body and mind.

I watched the programme and was engaged
and why not Christmas is a sentimental time any way I am prepared to suspend cynicism for a little while, good luck to them

I am proud of MYSELF, because of my DH's job. I am 5 hours removed from my support network. DH is out of the country regularly. I run the show without support.

Being called a Military Wife is a badge of honour and not an insult.

I agree esta.

esta - I think 'conscience' is the wrong word. People have different ideas about what is right and wrong. War and the military are an obvious source of disagreement.

Personally, I do not believe that Iraq was right, or that the Falklands were right. But as I say, I am a cynic, not a patriot, and seldom believe that my government is doing wonderful, just, honourable things.

But the British military is made up of volunteers. Many of them are patriots. Of those I know, many were genuinely very shocked that the government took us into Iraq. You may not care for their reasoning but I think anyone can understand it, TBH.

And I also think this is a side issue to the fact that this song is for women and families in a very difficult situation, and I don't think that being supportive of their feelings is the same as supporting the war, or even the same as supporting the military.

gingerwrath you are not getting my question at all.

forces- I have read too many threads slagging off the military, so time to even the score! OK

Esta I am glad you posted your last, you are not actually anti military but believe the government that sends them in should fund them.

Sadly that is not the case, the wages are shit and the housing is shocking. Unfortunately we are locked in due to pension reasons.

But in the mean time, this song WILL help personnel and families.

Jasper maybe you need to ask the bin man's wife or the teacher's wife or the traffic warden's wife why she doesn't want to be known by that prefix.

I don't think anyone here is anti military .

Just anti the over hyped sentimentality aspect of the Military Wives phenomenon

:) Ginger