to think that for some obese people, its not their fault, and surgery is a really good option?

[NotMyBigFatFault]

I weigh 17 and a half stone. I am 5 foot 3. Size 22.

I am hungry most the time. I wake up with a hunger, I have breakfast, cereal, or toast, or something else if I am on a proper "diet" (done them all - Atkins, Lighterlife, Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Cambridge, calorie counting, etc). By 9am I am hungry again. By 11am I am ready for lunch. By 1pm I am ready for more. I could go on but my obesity is not driven, in my opinion by greed (which would be eating way beyond which one is hungry) but by hunger. Genuine hunger for perfectly normal, even healthy food.

I know this is not the case with all obese people. But for quite a few it is.

I remember begging my Nanny to commence lunch proceedings at 11am one day. I was absolutely ravenous. I just wanted that sandwich so much. I could; have eaten 10 of them. I was 4 years old and had no idea what comfort eating was - I knew what tummy rumbles were, though.

My dad has never felt properly full. He stops eating, because he knows he'll get really really big if he doesn't, but he always has a knawing desire to eat. He exercises plenty of self control, which is why he is about 18 stone, not 27 stone, or 32 stone, or 36 stone and dead.

My mother has been on the dieting merry-go-round all her life (well, since she was 9). She has always been hungry. She doesn't actually eat particularly large portions, she's a bit of a picker, because she feels nauseous if she gets properly hungry due to medication she is on, but I can put way more away than her, though I try not to, as I am always on a diet. Being on a diet most the time and only breaking it when I can't stand it anymore is what keeps me at 17 and a half stone. I'd weigh more if I didn't exercise this level of self control. Its driven by fear for my health and vanity.

I recently sought weight loss surgery, looked at options, decided on either a Gastric Bypass or Sleeve Gastronectomy (gastric sleeve), and saw an eminent consultant, who approved me for surgery. The surgery will be funded privately by myself. We decided on the sleeve. The procedure cuts away the fundus part of the stomach, reducing your stomach size to 25% of what it was, but most importantly, removes the part of the stomach which is responsible for secreting Ghrelin , reducing that knawing, all consuming and unrelenting hunger that makes some obese people, well, obese. Its keyhole surgery under general anaesthetic.

I go on bike rides, walks, I do trampolining, dancing, the gym, enjoy the great outdoors, and running about with my kids. I am reasonably fit considering my size.

AIBU to think that obesity is not all about "greed", lack of self-denial (we are talking a lifetime, by the way, not a few weeks), "junk food", or "lack of exercise"? Is there anyone out there who thinks, actually, this is not my fault ?

[NotMyBigFatFault]

Its funny because I've just been reading back the thread and I'd forgotten how full of scorn some people were!

[BreeVDKamp]

That's a great update op :)

[youllshootyoureyeout]

Op, I would never encourage anyone to go through weight loss surgery as the after effects are often debilitating and painful, please make sure you do as much research as possible before going ahead.

I recommend this book Health At Every Size by Linda Bacon:
www.amazon.co.uk/Health-At-Every-Size-Surprising-ebook/dp/B003UBAWZY/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420410122&sr=1-1&keywords=health%20at%20every%20size&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21
It really is an eye opener and contains information everyone should know (it is based on US stats, but reflects UK beliefs and facts too). Please also take
a look at the HAES websites, both US and UK, I really feel you will benefit.

There is absolutely nothing "wrong" with you or your body. I really wish you all the best. X

[youllshootyoureyeout]

Sorry, didn't notice the original date.

[youllshootyoureyeout]

Have just read your last post op about being happy because you look "normal" and eat like a "normal" person as viewed by society and whilst I am so pleased for your happiness I find that sentiment desperately sad.

It says far more about our society than yourself, that we are outraged by racism, sexism, prejudice against the disabled, homophobia etc etc, yet it is still ok for us to fat shame people into feeling guilty for a body shape whether it is their fault or not. The average size woman now weighs 23% less than the "ideal" model sized woman and no, that is not because we are getting bigger, but more that the ideal is shrinking.

I wish you much happiness in your new life op.

[Margocat]

OP!! Thank you so much for coming back and updating us! Im the person who bumped the thread, as I'd been searching for gastric surgery threads and had come across it. I'm so pleased it's worked out so well for you.

I'll have to read back to remember whether you had a sleeve or bypass or band. I'm booked in for a sleeve on Friday. I'm a similar size to where you started and similarly have pretty much tried every diet going and lost 4/5 stone too many times to remember, but then been entirely 'responsible' and 'to blame' for it all going back on (and more)!

Im really encouraged by your update. Thank you!

[NotMyBigFatFault]

Thank you Margotcat. Good luck with your procedure. Your weight loss will be much easier to achieve and maintain after the procedure and with any luck will give you freedom from the diet cycle. I have found it liberating!