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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that DSS has actually done as he's told for a change.

25 replies

deemented · 04/12/2011 09:15

Disclaimer - i'm 28 weeks pregnant, hormonal, have a heaache and have been awake since 4.30am. I may well be BU.

DSS, age 12 has been sat next to me for the past half hour, playing with his bits. I have asked him repeatedly to stop. He hasn't.

I have just snapped and shouted 'Oh FFS, if you want to play with yourself feck off up to your room and do it where i don't have to see you'

So he has.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off at this?

OP posts:
ChocolateTeacup · 04/12/2011 09:17

Of course YABU but you may be a tiny bit hormonal

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 04/12/2011 09:17

YANBU to ask him to stop

YABU for allowing it for 30 mins and not reinforcing your warning

And wtf is he playing with his willy, at the age of 12, in front of his step mum?!

Original poster
deemented · 04/12/2011 09:19

He wasn't doing it continuously for 30 mins, he'd stop when i asked him to, but then out of the corner of my eye i'd catch a glimpse...

OP posts:
cocoachanneloffestivecheer · 04/12/2011 09:19

YANBU. I hate it when men of any age do this. DH has a friend who constantly rearranges himself. Had he had a tired and hormonal stepmum at 12, maybe he wouldn't stand talking to people with his hands where they shouldn't be aged thirty.

KeepInMindItsAlmostChristmas · 04/12/2011 09:22

I would have tipped a bucket of ice water over his bits Xmas Grin

HeidiKat · 04/12/2011 09:25

I can see why you were pissed off at his behaviour to start with and not stopping when you told him to but I don't really get what the problem is with him going up to his room when told to, if he was annoying you that much you should be glad.

Original poster
deemented · 04/12/2011 09:29

It's just the mental imagery i have now of him having a wank in his bedroom. Grim. I need the brainbleach.

Oh and i have the joy of washing his sheets too...

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 04/12/2011 09:29

Teaching children that some activities (nose picking and masturbation are the first to spring to mind) are only to be carried out in the privacy of the bedroom/bathroom is one of the duties of parent/step parent.

In my house you get 1 reminder (and my boys are much younger), then forcible eviction from communal areas.

YANBU to ask him to leave, YABU to be annoyed that he chooses leaving to stopping.

HeidiKat · 04/12/2011 09:51

Make sure he has a good supply of tissues for his bedroom and hopefully the sheets won't be too bad. Maybe he isn't having a wank, after all you wouldn't want to if your family was downstairs knowing what you were up to, more likely he is playing computer games or listening to angsty "nobody understands me" music.

Original poster
deemented · 04/12/2011 16:54

Good idea about the tissues, thanks.

OP posts:
TrickyBiscuits · 04/12/2011 17:18

I agree with HeidiKat, probably far too mortified. Grin

I'm also experiencing raging pregnancy anger so you have my sympathies

Youllbewaiting · 04/12/2011 17:30

Did you really tell him to fuck off?

Original poster
deemented · 04/12/2011 17:43

No, Youwillbewaiting - i told him to feck off. There is a differece.

OP posts:
slavetofilofax · 04/12/2011 17:45

YABU. If I was a child that had been spoken to like that by an adult in my own home, I would probably choose to leave the room too.

SauvignonBlanche · 04/12/2011 17:48

YABU, I thought you were just saying that's what you felt like saying to him- poor kid. Sad
Is his Dad there to have a chat with him?

Youllbewaiting · 04/12/2011 17:49

I'm a dad and if my ex's partner had told my son to feck off, they wouldn't be seeing them again.

Original poster
deemented · 04/12/2011 17:56

I lost my temper and snapped and told him to feck off to his bedroom to play with himself. I was sick of having to see him with his hands down his pants, plainly obvious what he was doing. So shoot me.

If it'd been my seven year old doing it despite repeated attempts asking him to stop, he'd have been told the same thing.

A 12 year old touching himself is not the kind of thing i wish to see over my cornflakes of a morn. He's old enough to know better.

His dad has spoken to him on several occasions, we both have, about what is an isn't appropriate behaviour, especially in front of our younger children.

OP posts:
Moominsarescary · 04/12/2011 18:02

At 12 he should know better than to be playing with himself infront of people, if he was my son or step son I'd have done the same

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 04/12/2011 18:02

How the hell is the op being unreasonable ?

She was doing the kid a favour for goodness sake.

Youllbewaiting · 04/12/2011 18:03

I'll say again if my ex's partner told my son to feck off, that would be the last time they see them.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 04/12/2011 18:04

Yes slave. I imagine you sit and masturbate in front of all and sundry.

Try it and see what response you get.

Moominsarescary · 04/12/2011 18:09

Your a man so in this case it would be your partner who told him to feck off upstairs if he wanted to play with himself after he was repeatedly asked to stop

But then again you might think it's perfectly reasonable for your son to be playing with himself in full view of everyone, It isn't acceptable in my house, he's not a toddler ffs

scuzy · 04/12/2011 18:11

ah feck off youllbewaiting. there are many ways to say that and i'm sure OP didnt mean it in the way your harping on about.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 04/12/2011 18:43

In fact I think everyone who called the op unreasonable should start masturbating in view of their parents/ step parents / next door neighbour or whatever.

When they're ask to stop they should carry on, keep doing it and see what happens.

SnapesMistressofMerriment · 04/12/2011 19:39

YANBU, even in the almost-swearing. He was being a prat and needed to be told,its disgusting behaviour. He knew this and did not stop.

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