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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be so shocked this women treated my baby like this

100 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 03/12/2011 21:13

In the park today, DS 20months, toddled off to the roundabout where another child with parent??? aged about 20?? was pushing her around.

The roundabout was stopped by the little girl and DS got on, I helped him up onto the little bench seat and said hang on darling.

Expecting the other mother to push slowly as there was quite an age difference, I had to say "can you slow down a bit" as she pushed so hard and laughed, at that point I went to step in and she pushed again throwing DS off!!! :( He screamed and fell directly onto his face at which point she laughed :0

She said something to her DD?? in another language and kept laughing showing no concern to my screaming baby.

I said "how dare you" at which point another mother and my DH came to help me as DS had taken quite a knock.

I feel quite sick about it. She just laughed at us and then left!

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 06/12/2011 11:27

Agree with you kerala.

BertieBotts · 06/12/2011 11:35

Also shocked at the amount of people saying you or your DH should have hit her, threatened her or "gone after her" WTF??

The age is still irrelevant, if she was 40 she could have been a nanny/au pair/auntie. Even if you're an immature teenager who the fuck hurts a one year old and then laughs about it?

I would either report to the police or just leave it and if you see her again walk away, what a horrible experience, you must be really shaken up :(

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 06/12/2011 11:46

Your poor DS. Hope he's OK now.

I would guess that the woman just forgot how much harder it is to hold for a 20 month to hold on than for an older child and then perhaps she laughed out of embarrassment (and maybe because she couldn't apologise). I hope so anyway to think she'd deliberately hurt such a young child is horrible otherwise. I have to say I think calling the police would have been an over-reaction here unless he was seriously injured.

NeuromanticisedVisionsofXmas · 06/12/2011 11:51

Whats with all the crazies on here today, far too many "I'd have farking punched her, the caaah" replies. You do all know it would be you getting arrested then?

Pushing a roundabout too hard and laughing at a baby might be pretty odd, but you'd be hard pushed to prosecute it. Punching a woman in the face is a lot easier to get done for.

You're all bonkers.

AKMD · 06/12/2011 11:52

I wouldn't have called the police but I would have gone absolutely beserk.

I wouldn't have let DS (21mo) on the roundabout if there was already an older child on it going quite fast though.

ilovesprouts · 07/12/2011 10:18

ruff me nah i once belted my dds ex bf has he hit her and my darling gs

DoesNotGiveAFig · 07/12/2011 10:29

YABU in your use of FAR TOO MANY question marks. ???

I hope your DS is ok, I would have lamped er one t'face.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 07/12/2011 10:32

I wonder how many of you when faced with a grown woman assualting your child and laughing would actually "walk away" or "leave it" without any form of anger directed toward the offending party.

It's very easy to preach but not so in practice. If anyone assaulted my DC and then laughed about it too I'd be hard pressed to walk away calmly. VERY HARD PRESSED. Grr.

diddl · 07/12/2011 10:52

Sounds absolutely awful.

I wouldn´t have called the police or gone beserk- I think I´d have been frightened of her tbh.

I suppose the moral is don´t let toddlers on with older children or take them off rather than ask someone not to push so fast.

I think the fact that she did that at all shows that there was something amiss.

BertieBotts · 07/12/2011 10:58

Of course you would have anger, but it's a big jump from shouting at someone out of shock, fear and anger, to hitting them.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 07/12/2011 11:00

I think if someone assaulted your child and laughed about it you wouldn't be so reasonable. It's very easy to think sensibly when you aren't in that situation.

OrmIrian · 07/12/2011 11:04

"It's very easy to preach but not so in practice."

It's not a question of preaching beleive me. I just wouldn't have had the guts to hit a total stranger - it's just not something I could do. And I guess if the OP had whacked her I suppose I could understand why and she'd have had to take the consequences. What I was objecting to was all the people on here saying that she was somehow failing her child by not getting into a fight over the incident. As if she was lacking as a mother.

BertieBotts · 07/12/2011 11:07

Yes OrmIrian same here.

I've never hit anyone and don't think I could, not me being preachy, it's just not my default reaction to a stressful or scary situation.

upahill · 07/12/2011 14:06

The trouble if nobody reports things to the police nothing is ever recorded.
Then if a serious attack or incident takes place further down the line it is the first recorded piece of evidence the police will have.

If she does a lot of crazy things that are reported people (police etc) can keep an eye on her.
I've worded what I am trying to say in clumsy manner but I hope YSWIM!

NeuromanticisedVisionsofXmas · 07/12/2011 14:15

I can quite honestly say, with some confidence, that if someone pushed my child too hard on a roundabout, I wouldn't punch them in the face. This is because I'm not a violent twat.

I don't agree with the definitions of "assault" here anyway, and have to ask what the OP was doing putting a baby on a roundabout with an older child and letting some else push it. Bloody daft thing to do.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 07/12/2011 14:38

Orm I see! Of course she is not a failure for not whacking the other mother that's just silly!

And it appears I'm a violent twat

hardboiledpossum · 07/12/2011 16:17

She might be an aupair if she is young and foreign. If I was the other girls parents I would want to know (so I could fire her) if my aupair was behaving like this. I would look out for her and try and identify her by asking other local mums and then have a word with her and if she is an aupair her employers.

JAMW · 07/12/2011 16:23

why does the fact she was 20 matter

cuteboots · 07/12/2011 16:27

How horrid I would have gone absolutely mental and she d probably have been spinning round on the roundabout at a very high speed!! You should report have reported this to the police as this is awful. Sorry but if anyone messed with my child and then laughed I would probably act and then think later..

winterfox · 07/12/2011 16:29

reporting to the police is slightly bonkers, this site is very strange nowadays!

cuteboots · 07/12/2011 16:37

woodenelephant- How do you know they are all dog rough?

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 07/12/2011 16:38

Poor DS, how is his face now?

I can't believe that one of you didn't ask her what the fuck she thought she was doing whilst the other sorted out your DS & I would have told her I was reporting her to the police (if you had a camera on your phone you could have taken her photo), there were 2 of you, one of her.

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 07/12/2011 22:29

DS is fine. We haven't been back.
TBH I am finding some comments impossible. ChippingInNeedsSleep - My son needed me to comfort him, not ensure DS was chasing after her, we were in shock and before we could do anything she was off.
AKMD the roundabout had stopped before we got on and the 'mother' was pushing it fast.....before my DS got on.

I think I will have to end this post as I now feel I 100% did the best I could in a crap situation and some comments are a bit hurtful TBH. Thanks for all the concern for my DS though, he is fine now x

OP posts:

AKMD · 08/12/2011 08:23

It isn't being impossible to say what I do at the park DS is 21mo. If an odler child is on the roundabout going really fast then I wait until they have left the roundabout before I put DS on, on the grounds that going at toddler-safe speed is a bit boring for the older child and they were there first. Or did the child in your situation move on to another piece of equipment and the mum come back specifically to push your DS?

AKMD · 08/12/2011 08:23

odler? older!

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