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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so shocked this women treated my baby like this

100 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 03/12/2011 21:13

In the park today, DS 20months, toddled off to the roundabout where another child with parent??? aged about 20?? was pushing her around.

The roundabout was stopped by the little girl and DS got on, I helped him up onto the little bench seat and said hang on darling.

Expecting the other mother to push slowly as there was quite an age difference, I had to say "can you slow down a bit" as she pushed so hard and laughed, at that point I went to step in and she pushed again throwing DS off!!! :( He screamed and fell directly onto his face at which point she laughed :0

She said something to her DD?? in another language and kept laughing showing no concern to my screaming baby.

I said "how dare you" at which point another mother and my DH came to help me as DS had taken quite a knock.

I feel quite sick about it. She just laughed at us and then left!

OP posts:
betterwhenthesunshines · 03/12/2011 23:19

Sorry your son was hurt and the laughing was obviously bang out of order but... I can't believe people are seriously suggesting you should have called the police (Confused news flash! child falls over in playground...)

Also from your story it sounds as though the other older child was on the roundabout first, presumably going at a fair speed? If it was too fast then you should not have allowed your 20mnth old to get on and assumed they would slow down for you. They shouldn't have slowed down to allow your DS to get on and then go too fast for him. But then possibly you'd be huffing that you were at the playground and someone wouldn't let your DS on. I don't know, I wasn't there but older children are also allowed to enjoy the playground the way they enjoy without having to slow down to toddler speed. But, I agree, that should be done without causing hurt or upset. But I just wanted to put the other side

JjingleBeanplusPudalltheway · 03/12/2011 23:31

Yanbu ofc

But why does the mums age matter? I'm a younger mum, and its throw away comments like this that knock my confidence further. I've met my fair share of normal age/older mums who are total cows too!

Police is a bit much but I thoroughly understand the want to get some justice, shocking behaviour even more so from another parent!

MillyR · 03/12/2011 23:39

I am also uncomfortable with the mentioning of the mother's age. It has no connection to the situation at all.

GypsyMoth · 04/12/2011 09:30

Her age is relevant.... She could have been the au pair/nanny/babysitter...

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 04/12/2011 09:50

Her age was important in me finding any justification for her actions, she may have been a sister who looked older. I don't think she was, but if she had she may have been immature. This is not a thread about young mothers. But she may have not been used to young children. Again, I am pretty sure she was the childs mother.

betterwhenthesunshines you clearly were not there. This was a horrible incident and your comments are mad.

The police (well call centre) were helpful last night, but again could only really take the details.

OP posts:
OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 04/12/2011 10:02

Sounds like she was a sister/cousin etc rather than a mother.

Who knows why she did it?

It might help you to feel less awful if you put it down to ignorance rather than evil?
If she has no real experience of children, is very immature herself, she wouldnt have much of a clue about what toddlers like.

I dont know why she laughed at you DS when he fell. It could have been embarassment? That might be why she left quickly too.

I am not making excuses for her but you will dwell on this for much longer and it could become a real issue if you get into a mindset that there is an evil 20 something around who took pleasure in hurting your little boy.

I would be bloody furious too. I wouldnt have hit her but I would have let her know about herself. If she did that round here she probably would have been beaten up which wouldnt be pleasant for anyone.

bejeezus · 04/12/2011 11:18

There is no language barrier which means she wouldn't know that a baby shouldn't be flung around like that.(confused)

JjingleBeanplusPudalltheway · 04/12/2011 11:28

Still her age doesn't excuse the bahviour so it is irrelavant unless she was, I dunno 5. And even then laughing is a shitty thing to do. My 4yo certainly wouldn't.

callmemrs · 04/12/2011 11:42

I think you've been given a hard time on here op, with some posters almost suggesting that because you didn't 'lamp her one' then you're somehow not as caring Hmm or protective Hmm as they are. If you'd hit her, you could well have ended up with a conviction for assault - yeap, that would greatly help your child.... Not. She, on the other hand, would have been unlikely to face any charge for pushing the roundabout too hard. So, all those who suggested physical violence against the woman are pretty dim. Of course you'd probably feel like punching her but to actually say 'i would have done it' says a lot about the ignorance of other posters, not you OP

Personally I would still report it. Even if the police don't follow anything up, it will give YOU the satisfaction of having dealt with the matter. besides, there is a chance that if the woman is local the police may already know of her, or if something else happens in future they can link it with this incident. She sounds as if she could have been on drugs, or incapable in some other way of having a child in her care; therefore its important that you report this incident.

Sorry about your ds, it must have been a big shock but he WILL get over it and will get his confidence back, this is a set back but he will be fine long term. I also don't think you should let this awful woman affect your judgement on other mums. Most people aren't like this.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 04/12/2011 11:52

Lots of four year olds would though.

Some 8 year olds would.

I dont know why she did or even what actually happened.

I do think that her being an evil psychopath bent on hurting and humilitating little boys is the least likely explaination.

And the one that will have the OP fretting the most.

There are lots of immature people out there who get themselves into situations and dont know how to apologise so they laugh, swear, swagger it out.

I think that could be the case here.

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 04/12/2011 19:02

callmemrs thank you xx

OP posts:
upahill · 04/12/2011 19:10

I honesty would have used my phone and taken a photo if her. I have actually done this before. I would have taken a picture of ds and got dh 2 report. Without a shadow of a doubt.

droves · 04/12/2011 19:20

I would have punched her . Seriously .

And I'm not one for violence.

Bitch .

Hope your dc is ok .

droves · 04/12/2011 19:21

( mrsC is right though , it wouldn't have helped , and you did the right thing not hitting her )

stayformulledwine · 04/12/2011 19:25

I would have floored her. Okay i would have wanted to but for the fact of being adult I would have restrained myself. Language barriers is not an excuse for lacking common sense or having common courtesy.

ilovesprouts · 05/12/2011 17:22

if any adult hit my kids they wont ever do it again

kerala · 05/12/2011 19:02

Yes I always find physical violence always a great way to deal with upsetting and difficult situations plus it sets such a great example to a child Hmm

Some really rough sounding mothers on this thread yes its bad but "I would have punched her" really?!

londonone · 05/12/2011 19:10

Just out of interest, what exactly did you report to the police? As essentially your child fell off a roundabout.

FabbyChic · 05/12/2011 19:12

Where are your bollocks? Id have knocked someone out for doing that to my kid.

kerala · 05/12/2011 19:24

Really? That would have made an upsetting situation a hundred times worse - for the child. Honestly sounds as if some posters have been watching too much Eastenders.

ilovesprouts · 05/12/2011 19:53

kerala dont watch eastenders, ruff sounding mothers on here Hmm,id do the same as FABBYCHIC

kerala · 05/12/2011 21:40

I dont watch it either but catch glimpses of it - rough people shouting and hitting each other. Marvellous Hmm

scuzy · 05/12/2011 21:45

what a horrible thing to happen. i can understand your first instinct was to go to your ds but why the hell didnt your husband go after this nutjob? mine would have!!!

WoodenElephant · 05/12/2011 21:51

The other mum sounds quite mad.

Some of the mums on here sound dog rough too however.

Sounds like the local park is to be avoided on all accounts!

JosieZ · 05/12/2011 22:17

If someone is deliberately cruel to a small child then, worse still, laughs about it there is something far wrong with them.

She is possibly jealous of you and your DS, maybe you looked well-dressed and happy and she isn't.
Maybe she saw you with you DH and she is alone and envious.
Maybe she is about to be deported and angry about it.
Mabye she is a badly paid nanny and bitter about it.

.....and even worse to be deliberately cruel in front of her own child. Weird.

Perhaps she should be pitied.