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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

shocked parents still think like this

116 replies

maypole1 · 03/12/2011 16:51

Just reading the mums net sex education survey, and 3 people think sex should not be taught in schools at all

Who are these people and all though the number is small I still cant believe people still think like this.

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 03/12/2011 16:52

3 out of how many?

amerryscot · 03/12/2011 16:53

Maybe they think they are better equipped to teach it at home?

NinkyNonker · 03/12/2011 16:54

How big was the sample? I'm surprised it wasn't more to be honest.

Dawndonnathatchristmasiscoming · 03/12/2011 16:55

Well, we know which ones will get pregnant early then, don't we!

GypsyMoth · 03/12/2011 16:58

Why can't you believe it op?

MabelLucyAttwell · 03/12/2011 16:58

It's the parents' job. It could start at the age of 2 or 3 with puppies, or kittens, saying where they came from or you can watch a nature programme showing piglets suckling. Even start with a hen's egg or frogspawn or a children's book when they start to ask questions.

Why do all subjects have to be taught at school? Mine were taught how to behave before they went to school and to read and write. I remember waiting in the infant school playground after school with other mothers and one was complaining that her child hadn't been taught to write his name (Mark). I thought then what a fool she was.

I was 9 when I asked my mother where I'd come from and she told me. All you have to do is answer questions with explanations. It's not rocket science unless the thicko parents don't know the answers.

GypsyMoth · 03/12/2011 17:01

Dawn...or 'getting' others pregnant! It's not just the girls you know!

scaevola · 03/12/2011 17:02

Three out of how many?

And do you have a link to how the question was worded? (Just trying to imagine say a Biology GCSE which omitted one of the seven characteristics of life).

squeakytoy · 03/12/2011 17:03

Nobody taught me how to have sex when I was at school...

Well.. not in school anyway....

Seriously though, of course schools should teach IMPARTIAL an factual sex education.

GypsyMoth · 03/12/2011 17:04

And come on op, it was 'netmums', really don't expect much sense from that lot!

Bunbaker · 03/12/2011 17:16

"It's the parents' job. I was 9 when I asked my mother where I'd come from and she told me. All you have to do is answer questions with explanations"

I agree... Except, DD didn't want to know when I broached the subject. I tried when she was 9, but she just walked away. I approached the subject when she was 10 and she put her fingers in her ears and went la la la. So she learnt at school in year 6. Otherwise she would have been the only child that didn't know and I didn't want the others to make fun of her.

In this case I was delighted that she learnt about it at school, and there is no way I would have removed her from the lessons. After they did the talks I asked her if she had learnt anything new at school but she just said no and didn't want to discuss it. She is in year 7 now and nowhere near puberty yet.

I think you are overlooking the fact that someimes the school makes a better job of explaining things, plus they have the visual resources to do so. I borrowed a book from the library for DD, but she wouldn't even look at it.

"Mine were taught how to behave before they went to school and to read and write."

Well, woo hoo and bully for you. Not all parents are as perfect as you. It isn't a crime not being able to read and write before starting school. I agree about being able to behave appropriately though.

amerryscot · 03/12/2011 17:19

I don't mind the school teaching the nuts and bolts via a science lesson, but the emotional and moral bits, I like to keep for home.

I don't think I trust schools to teach that sex should take place within a monogamous marriage....

StopRainingPlease · 03/12/2011 17:25

People who think it's the parents job are ignoring the fact that some parents won't discuss it.

WhoopsyLa · 03/12/2011 17:30

Er....I don't want my children educated about sex by someone other than their own parents thanks....there is nothing wrong with choice...some parents don't teach them...others do. I do....I resent my DC being lumped in with others just because some parents do not teach sex ed.

Like merry I think the emotional parts are for ME and DH....not strangers.
and stopaining yes...I am ignoring that fact....that's not my problem.

Bunbaker · 03/12/2011 17:31

"People who think it's the parents job are ignoring the fact that some parents won't discuss it."

I agree, and some children don't want to discuss it - see my earlier post.

rhondajean · 03/12/2011 17:33

To return to the self satisfied parent who taught their children to read and write before school.

I was taught to read and write at age 3. Now dont get me wrong, I have always had high literacy standards as a result, and been able to enter wonderful worlds of books from a really young age.

But when I started school, I missed out on the shared learning experience that my classmates went through. I am not suggesting for a minute we should hold our children back in order to fit in with the majority. But for me, it was an isolating experience. I also had a lot of resentment coming my way from the other children.

I made a concious decision that the right thing to do was not to hothouse my own children and push them ahead. I read to them lots, they had books from when they were old enough to hold them, showed them some words etc. But they learned to read along with the rest of their cohort. They are both now, at 11 and 7, very fluent and advanced readers for their age. DD1 is reading adult books (no not those ffs!) and DD2 can read her way through a short novel in an hour. Their literacy is no worse than mines at that age; but their socialistion is far better.

The Scandanavian schooling system also shows that children in fact respond better as whole individuals to starting formal learning such as reading at a later age than we even do here.

Sorry, I realise this a complete hijack, but I do feel quite strongly that we should not be pushing our children ahead just so we feel better about their behaviour and accomplishment.

Dawndonnathatchristmasiscoming · 03/12/2011 17:34

Sara you are right of course, a knee jerk reaction.

The problem with saying that it should be the parent's responsibility is that there are many parents, who for various reasons, don't teach their kids at home. There are still many homes where sex is brushed under the carpet. So, yes, it should be taught in schools.

WhoopsyLa · 03/12/2011 17:46

dawn no...it should be optional

Methe · 03/12/2011 17:49

I think it should be optional and I'd opt out. My dd has known about sex, periods and basic biology since she was old enough to understand. She's 6. She knows all she needs to know.

Bunbaker · 03/12/2011 17:51

"dawn no...it should be optional"

It was at DD's school. Parents were given the option to withdraw their child. In DD's year none of the parents did, and when I asked the teacher he said that no-one had withdrawn their child during the time he had been there. I think parents don't withdraw their child because the child will probably get ribbed about it by the other children.

giveitago · 03/12/2011 18:00

Perhaps those three object to way it's taught. There's a lot of sex education but we have a horribly high teen pregnancy rate and std levels. Perhaps it needs to be reviewed?

motherinferior · 03/12/2011 18:08

I bloody well hope schools are not teaching my kids that sex is only permissible in a monogamous marriage. Not least because I'd have to get married first. And so would my sister, although admittedly she could do that now that civil partnerships are around.

I personally think the more sex ed the better. Lots of it. Masses and masses. Especially about non-penetrative sex, the sort that doesn't make you pregnant and has a much lower chance of communicating an STI.

theincredibequeenofwands · 03/12/2011 18:17

Teaching about sex is the parents job, not that I mind it being taught in schools. Although you can't guarantee that what they're being taught is correct.

My son has already been told that 'girls don't kiss girls and boys don't kiss boys' by a rather helpful teacher (thanks for that), and it's actually quite difficult to tell a child that what they're teacher is saying is wrong (although we were able to cover homophobia at the same time......!

I'd rather tell him about it myself, which I've already done. Having our cats mate and produce kittens came in quite handy!

amerryscot · 03/12/2011 18:27

There lies the problem, MI. I want my children to be taught that sex belongs in a monogamous marriage, you believe otherwise. It is impossible to have a government diktat that pleases everyone. That's why it should be up to the parents to decide what their children should be exposed to and when.

I would be horrified if my children were taught a reckless, laissez-faire attitude to sex. I would do all in my power to prevent this from happening.

motherinferior · 03/12/2011 18:31

But there is a difference between teaching 'attitudes to' and teaching the basic, informative, biological stuff like how not to get pregnant. Which I think should be taught, by as many people as possible, at every possible opportunity

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