shocked parents still think like this

[maypole1]

Just reading the mums net sex education survey, and 3 people think sex should not be taught in schools at all

Who are these people and all though the number is small I still cant believe people still think like this.

Teen pregnancy rates are reducing actually, lowest in 25 years.

Thats a good question littlemiss , i think it is in part due to the fact that infections like chlymidia are being tested for where not that long ago they werent . I also think its a societal thing , in that there is a far more relaxed attitude to sex before marriage , some would say a bit too relaxed

Also GUM services seem to have got better at targeting their market and opening at hours to suit !

At the moment, I would be one parent not happy about it and considering opting out of those lessons if that's possible (more so the lessons when they're younger) as I'd want to decide the right time and the best way to teach him about this.

However, DS is only 2 so we're a little while off that yet. I am quite open minded about it though but would want to know exactly what they're covering and how before making a decision for certain.

I was very glad I'd taught my DCs sex ed at home, when my DD came home and told me she's had a lesson (in a state secondary!) where the teacher has said Aids was made in labs and not sexually transmitted after all.

You can't leigislate for whackjobs, prejudice or ignorance amongst adults, even in school settings.

Make sure your DCs know what you want them to know - keep them informed, safe, confident in saying No, and hopefully able to talk about it and enjoy sex when it's their time.

Schools can and should help in this, though.

www.mumsnet.com/campaigns/mumsnet-sex-education-survey

Allowing children to be taught sex ed at home only can also be away for adults to mask abuse with their children

I watched opera wimfery last night their were twing who were being raped nightly by their dad and two older brothers with their mother often coming in to view the rapes

Opera asked the girls when they knew that what was happening wasn't right their answer when they started having sex ed lessons

thanks theincredible - I do think I'm on the right track. He only knows periods because he saw some blood on my bed and was concerned - so I put him right. He only knows that same sex marriages happen because he once said that men can only marry women - so I put him straight.

I feel better now - so cheers.

amerryscot: Can I just point out that it has been shown that in american states where they teach abstinence only sex education they have the highest rate of teenage pregnancy and sti's compared to other states.

Your statement that parents should be able to tell their children which sexual morality to follow has fairly worrying implications for example a gay child with homophobic parents. It is really important that that child receives a balanced view of these things from the school at the very least.

I would also perhaps make sure you redress your expectations of your children before they reach their teens or it could lead to quite a bit of disappointment.

Who is 'they' mushroom?

The parents? The school?

Where is the validated, peer-reviewed data? It is convenient to reckless parents to think they have no power, but sex education is not all about saying yes or no. It is a life long instillation of values. Telling someone something is prohibited is a sure-fire way of wanting them to do it. Teaching values is all together different.

I certainly do not want a random rag tag bunch of teachers teaching my children values. I will do that myself.

in my area sex ed has been renamed relationship and sex education and the advisor with the local authority is fab, he advocates that it be taught at appropriate age level from a young age with references to things like caring about yourself, forging friendships, respect for others, hygiene, progressing to use of language, understanding your body, puberty, friendships, then moving into the biological stuff and exploring different types of relationships, marriage, same sex, etc. he is totally unshockable and I have sat in on him running a session at a girls catholic school where he was teaching respect and exploring some of the myths around sex and I was at how some of the 'naice' girls were trying to shock by asking outrageous questions, which he answered very matter of factly and moved on. his mantra is relationship and sex ed is NOT all about what goes where and how to put on a condom which in his experience is how many parents think it is. take any opportunity offered by the school to find out what is actually taught before deciding if its right for your Dc.

Mushroom yes very i think amerryscot will have a difficult time with it,if deciding on lecturing and not balanced and realistic views on sex.

Its amazing people still think ignorance is bliss and unless you are a deeply unpleasant bigot then your children will come to see that your views are nessarily correct that gay relationships can be just as loving or as deep as anyones.

And the chances of your children going from living at home to marriage is very unlikely with out some kind of sexual encounter university will most likely see to that.

All I want from my son to learn sex wise is

No means no
Respect a women who respects herself
Were a condom
Get tested regularly
Sex can be fun with someone you don't know but is even better with someone you love.
And babies come after marriage

Oh and no one like a tart

amerryscot sorry to burst your bubble but teachers are teaching values every day they do it with the house system they teach loyalty and competitiveness.

They do it with detentions which teach actions have reactions

They do it with making students remove make up or short skits

Which teach conformity and dress code

What do you mean by realistic?

For me, I felt that my expectations were very realistic, and fortunately they matched my husband's.

When you say realistic, it sounds like there is an expectation that is in cloud cuckoo land and not any part of reality.

Should we all approach sexual matters a la Mumsnet, where there are many topics about women being left to hold the baby. They say they got pregnant 'by accident'. There is no such thing - you shag, you get pregnant. If you don't want to risk it, close your legs. If having 'oopsies' is part of reality, it is not the reality that I want my children to be part of.

Mumsnet idea of reality is truly warped.

however, one thing he has realised and is addressing, is that some teachers are just not
a) cut out to teach RSE ie: embarrassed teach RSE, bigoted,
b) properly skilled to teach controversial subjects, misinformed themselves,
he runs training for teachers to cover all this

"they" is the state's I believe - its a state policy. In any case, what I meant was "children who are taught abstinence only sex education".

www.avert.org/abstinence.htm a general overview

A few studies:
www.comminit.com/?q=ict-4-development/node/70676

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1403498/ the complete article for that one is available if you scroll down and download it as a pdf.

this is for the UK: www.york.ac.uk/search/?q=cache:Ap9CJxn7R4MJ:www.york.ac.uk/inst/crd/EHC/ehc31.pdf+Dickson%2C+R.%2C+Fullerton%2C+D.%2C+Eastwood%2C+A.%2C+Sheldon%2C+T.%2C+Sharp%2C+F+et+al.+%281997%29+Effective+Health+Care%3A+Preventing+and+reducing+the+adverse+effects+of+unintended+teenage+pregnancies%2C+National+Health+Service+Centre+for+Reviews+and+Dissemination+University+of+York.&access=p&output=xml_no_dtd&ie=UTF-8&client=yorkweb&site=yorkweb&proxystylesheet=yorkweb&oe=UTF-8

www.nice.org.uk/niceMedia/documents/teenpreg_evidence_overview.pdf this is again from the UK.

There have also been a few articles published recently which I'll try to find.

The thing is though amerryscot: what makes you think your moral values are objectively right? Your child may entirely disagree with you and is incredibly important that they therefore have a variety of moral viewpoints, so that they know that actually they are not wrong, they just hold a different opinion to you. To want to prevent your child hearing alternative view points suggests you think that when confronted by the alternative they will change their mind. You should trust that if your child feels that is right for them then they will stand up for what you have taught them, but hearing the alternative is only ever a positive. Any thing else I think comes under the heading of brainwashing.

For example, it would obviously be very harmful for a gay child to never hear anything but its homophobic parents rantings. It would be extremely beneficial to that child to have some school sex-ed lessons where their teacher says "actually this is normal - some people are gay".

www.avert.org/abstinence.htm a general overview

www.comminit.com/?q=ict-4-development/node/70676

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1403498/ the complete article for that one is available if you scroll down and download it as a pdf.

this is for the UK: www.york.ac.uk/search/?q=cache:Ap9CJxn7R4MJ:www.york.ac.uk/inst/crd/EHC/ehc31.pdf+Dickson%2C+R.%2C+Fullerton%2C+D.%2C+Eastwood%2C+A.%2C+Sheldon%2C+T.%2C+Sharp%2C+F+et+al.+%281997%29+Effective+Health+Care%3A+Preventing+and+reducing+the+adverse+effects+of+unintended+teenage+pregnancies%2C+National+Health+Service+Centre+for+Reviews+and+Dissemination+University+of+York.&access=p&output=xml_no_dtd&ie=UTF-8&client=yorkweb&site=yorkweb&proxystylesheet=yorkweb&oe=UTF-8

www.nice.org.uk/niceMedia/documents/teenpreg_evidence_overview.pdf this is again from the UK.

sorry

I don't want my children to be taught that certain lifestyles are 'okay'.

And there lies the problem with sex ed being optional.

amerryscot. I am old enough to remember the Victoria Gillick campaign regarding contraception, and old enough to remember her daughter getting pregnant at a fairly young age.

Sorry amerryscot but that is a logical fallacy buy your logic I never drop a drink by accident because if I hadn't have picked it up I wouldn't have dropped it.

Have you ever had sex when not trying to conceive? If you had got pregnant at that time it would have been an accident. We have access to effective contraception and a wealth of information, it is a risk we take but that doesn't stop it being an accident.

Another example, driving a car is a risk but doesn't mean that crashes aren't accidents.

And I'm afraid if you don't think that's reality then you really are living in cloud cuckoo land!

The relevant point is though, that they were you're expectations your children may have entirely different ones and it would be wrong of you to present your opinions as anything more than that, and without giving them access to information should they wish to pursue the alternative view, as well as those views itself. You have to accept that abstinence until marriage is very much the minority and it would be some what naive of you to assume your children will choose the same path as you.

by.

Must preview.

"I also think that parents should be given a timetable with the sessions and the topics of the sessions, so that those who feel able can then continue the discussion at home ."

But they are. We had a parent's evening at DD's school just before the sex ed lessons. We were shown the content of the lessons and the content of the films that were to be shown. We were also given a timetable of when each lesson was to be held. None of the children were withdrawn from the lessons.

Really linerunner? really?!
Did you tell the head? Please tell me you complained to the head?

amerryscot

Yes they are left holding the baby often by their

HUSBANDS

Many threads on here of women who have been left after 5 children and 20 years of marriage.

That is not about sex it to do with how in 2011 people give up on marriage very quickly

You have only to post my oh won't cook tea while I have the flu and every ones gouging the fucker leave him.

And you don't have to sleep with a lot of people to be a sexual deviant quite
frankly

The way some people behave sexually in a marriage could be quite shocking

Amerryscot how old are your children?
I don't want my children to have any prejudices, that's the values I want them to have.

I don't think school should teach children about sex. I think the parents should.