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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have said the following to a dad outside the supermarket this morning?

112 replies

TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 16:06

"excuse me, but there's a toilet inside"

The dad in question had just yanked the pants of his (estimated) four-year-old DS down outside the shop and instructed him to "piss up the wall". The little boy looked a bit confused and frankly embarrassed to be doing this. I (politely) called over to the dad and said the above. He told me "he's just a fucking kid" and told the boy to carry on.

Was I wrong to say anything? The child did not hear what I said, as the dad was standing at least 10-15 feet away and I made sure I said it quietly so as not to embarrass the child further. All parents get caught with a desperate child every now and then (I've been there myself!), but I fail to see how this dad could not have walked the child inside and led him to a cubicle. I really don't think I was wrong, the toilet was about a 20 second walk away and the child certainly didn't look like he wanted to pee up a wall. Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 22:53

The father was talking to the child loudly, yes. I get what you mean now.

OP posts:
ballstoit · 03/12/2011 22:53

And yes, I did ask the shop to wash down the wall, of course. ballstoit, try reading my posts properly in future.

I didn't say I had mentioned asking the shop to clean the wall

I'm getting bored of you changing your mind every other post.

You clearly think YANBU and I'm not sure why you bothered asking.

ballstoit · 03/12/2011 22:55

Yes, I am a parent, I have 3 DC and 2 DSS...as I mentioned in my previous posts. You probably didn't read them as they weren't agreeng with you.

Original poster
TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 22:56

Seperate those sentences, balls, you've read it wrong. The second sentence was referring to the part of the post that came after. I'm not changing my mind, you're just reading my posts wrong.

If you're getting bored, I'm not forcing you to keep commenting.

I already said I didn't think I was unreasonable. I asked if I was because of that. I was interested to see what other people thought.

OP posts:
Bubblevista · 03/12/2011 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Original poster
TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 22:58

Sorry, I missed that bit. No need for the sarcasm though. I don't mind that you don't agree with me, it was rather obvious you didn't though. I don't think you needed to point that out. Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 22:59

I know there's more in the world to worry about, bubble, but thanks! Grin

OP posts:
ballstoit · 03/12/2011 23:12

You're right, I could probably do with getting to bed.

Having had a flick through your previous threads I see that you have ongoing issues with children behaving badly in supermarkets and the 'scum' who live on your estate. I have a little more understanding now of both your reaction and the father's.

Original poster
TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 23:14

Bad form, balls. You don't drag posting history onto new threads like that in order to abuse people. Good night, I hope you wake up with a better attitude.

OP posts:
Original poster
TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 23:24

For the benefit of anyone bored enough to wonder, I had one previous thread referring to teenage girls irritating people in a supermarket (can't remember the specifics tbh), and another about local morons riding motorbikes on the pavements where I live. One thread was three months ago, the other was seven months ago. Neither of which equal ongoing issues with anything, but I am deeply flattered by balls interest in my life. Grin

OP posts:
fit2drop · 03/12/2011 23:27

I never understand why someone would post in AIBU when they clearly think they are not.

Why?

Tidy you make too many assumptions about the whys and reasons of why this dad allowed the child to pee publically.
You drip fed info as soon as anyone suggested an explanation.

You think you are right so offs ya go and sleep well knowing that you are the arc angel of pissing procedures Wink

Original poster
TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 23:29

As already stated, because I wondered if people agreed or not, fit. Not drip feeding intentionally, just that things apparently needed explaining to people and things I didn't think were relevant suddenly became so.

Arc angel of pissing procedures....my mother will be so proud. Grin

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 03/12/2011 23:31

He wasnt asking for directions to the nearest toilet, so in telling him where they were you were being passive aggressive, so dont act all shocked at the aggressive way he then spoke to you!

I agree with whoever it was that said the responses would have been different if it was a mum.

fit2drop · 03/12/2011 23:32

just that things apparently needed explaining to people and things I didn't think were relevant suddenly became so

bit like what the dad and his son was doing then eh Wink

Original poster
TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 23:34

I'm sorry you feel that way Amber.

Frankly though, I will always be shocked at someone who talks that way in front of their child.

I can't speak for the rest of the people on this thread, but I wouldn't have done anything differently if it had been a mum rather than a dad with the child. Perception wrt gender is a funny thing though I suppose.

OP posts:
Original poster
TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 23:34

Sure, fit. Confused

OP posts:
fit2drop · 03/12/2011 23:38

its called irony Tidy, sorry to confuse you.

Greenshirt · 03/12/2011 23:38

The difference between animals and humans is that humans can use a toilet.Disgusting behaviour.I don't mind if you are in the middle of the countryside or walking in the woods where there are no toilets,fine I've done it with my kids,but in the middle of town RIGHT OUT SIDE a place with toilets...that's vile.Kids wee doesn't stink like adults wee? Bollocks!

Original poster
TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 23:39

You didn't, fit. Never mind. :)

OP posts:
fit2drop · 03/12/2011 23:41

I don't mind Tidy, I never sweat the small stuff. You should try it.

Original poster
TidyDancer · 03/12/2011 23:42

Aw, that's good. Glad to hear it. I don't either. But thanks for your concern. Goodnight! :)

OP posts:
AgnesBligg · 03/12/2011 23:46

I don't understand the view that if you are of the species that can hose down walls and doorways with ones own piss then it's fine to do so.

My ds at that age would have been horrified if I suggested he pull down his pants and pee outside a supermarket! He wouldn't dream of it.

So YANBU OP. I may not myself had said anything to the dad (dunno I may have depending on my mood) but I would expect a mouthy response probably. But for god's sake stop pissing everywhere blokes.

VivaLeBeaver · 03/12/2011 23:57

So you say the child definetly didn't hear you!

But the father who was right by the kid did! How is that, where you talking In a special grown up only language?

Original poster
TidyDancer · 04/12/2011 00:00

Viva, the father was a good 10-15 feet away from the child when I said it. I didn't say it loudly, the child didn't hear.

OP posts:
lurkinginthebackground · 04/12/2011 00:25

He sounds vile.

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