i need help

[OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere]

I know this should be in health but I am desperate

I just went to give blood

They turned me down because my hb is 9.5
I have never been aneamic before apart from when pg.

To me this means two things.

One is that I have let my DD down
two is that I have cancer and I am going to die after having to have terrible things done to me.

if i sound mad it is because I am.

you lot should stop offering me tea - it inhibits iron absorbtion you know!

Wine then?

Mrsdv, you haven't let her down, you have done her proud so many times in the past, but your not looking after yourself and you need to, she wouldn't want you to put yourself though this.
Dh bloods were off last week too and I know I panic every time that happens.

Take care of yourself and stop being so hard on yourself.
Some very big unMN hugs for you xx

Ps; cancer is bitch! Just to confirm

I am such a tit.

But I am trying to get help so I wont always be one.

Just so you know.

Yes lisa it is a fucking bitch
x

You are not a tit, maybe a Boobie you care, that's all and you have had a rough few years.

I don't blame you for feeling so upset OP. I am so, so sorry for you loss xxxx I had a friend who was literally the fittest person I know, runner, healthy eater, looked amazing and when we went to give blood they told her the same. It was really strange because she literally was the picture of health. You have not let anyone down, it is just one of those things. There are lots of reasons why you might be aneamic. Feel so much for you.

Oh...I was so sad when I saw it was you that had started this thread MrsD. (I 'know' of you on the boards as I lurk but don't post much...recent namechange too).

Glad you have been reassured by others' posts. I don't know much about medical conditions but I do know that anaemia is incredibly common and can occur for a variety of reasons. It can usually be easily rectified.

You have NOT let your DD down. I can imagine why you might feel that way but really, honestly, from an objective and logical point of view- no, you haven't let her down at all and I think she would be sad to know you feel that way. From your posts I have read in the past and from the respect you have from regular posters here, it is clear that you are a wonderful parent.

An un-MN-y hug for you.

You're not a tit x

I give blood regularly now, solely because of your appeals on here. I'm also on the bone marrow register for the same reason, and I refuse to believe I'm the only one. You absolutely have not let your daughter down by not being able to give blood this time but you need (in the nicest possible way) to make sure you're not letting your other DCs down by not looking after yourself. You need to eat, lovey!.

Mrs deVere, I have tears in my eyes.

Someone told you that you were being a silly billy. Now I know your daughter was Billie... so I think that is her getting someone to send you a message. You are being silly .

From the sounds of things you have been having a dreadful time, your diet is shocking and you are run down. Please be kind to yourself xxx

I am going on Monday. I will think of you.
By the way, YABVVVVVVU.

You are all really nice and I am sorry for being such a needy berk.

When I hear that people give blood because of Billie - well I cant tell you what it means to me and as I am in a fragile state I'd better not try.

You know what I have eaten today?4
A drinky yogurt
a danish
3 cups of tea
two slices of toast.

I am not even hungry. I will have an evening meal because I cook for the DCs. But that is typical day. I will have 3 types of veg tonight and some quorn thing.

Thats what I eat. I dont have much of an appetite, never have. But I am 44 and I need to stop being stupid.

I just wanted to offer you another hug. I am so sorry for your loss. It is not surprising that you now find the idea of medical "stuff" quite traumatic, and it does NOT mean you have let your DD down. It is a very mumsy thing to do to try to shoulder all blame and responsibility for our DC, and even for their illnesses, but it is NOT logical. I am 100% certain that you have ALWAYS done your level best for your DD. Have you thought of counselling to help you with your (very understandable) grief? It sounds to me as if you are not eating properly and are run down. Just to say I would give blood instead of you but I am never allowed, sadly. Others will though, I am certain. Take care of yourself. Your DD would not want it any other way. xx

Actually what you seem is a clever, funny, articulate, strong, brave woman who has had far much too much to deal with (and a dreadful summer on the 'home' front as well). So you are allowed to go off on a complete wobble.

But you know that your worst fears are very unlikely to be true. Ask your doctor to run some checks if it would put your mind at rest. Other than that, treat the anaemia with the above good suggestions. Looking after yourself is often the last thing we think about. I usually realise that I've gone anaemic again, when it feels like I'm wading through quicksand and I've started shouting at the children.

Thank you for being one of those people who does give blood. Transfusions saved my life twice, after childbirth. I can never pay it back, but I am so grateful.

Ok, I now see you have other DC and want to remind you (very gently) that you need to take care of yourself for their sakes too. Can I ask when you lost Billie? Some post traumatic stress disorders take a while to develop - not that I am saying it is what you have, just that you need to keep any eye out and get help if/when you need it. I wish you strength.

That really is not enough to eat!

I've come up as anaemic before when donating and then fine later. The lovely nurse told me red wine and dark chocolate were the best things to get iron levels up! But you should eat, not eating messes with your brain chemistry and makes you feel worse, never mind all the very real and horrible reasons you have to be sad in the first place.

FWIW, the NHS has had its armful from me today. Today is the first time I've been well enough to donate for 3 months. I'm covering for you.

its been five years.
I do have an anxiety/ptsd disorder.

And I know I should eat. Now I cant really ignore it anymore can i?

What the hell do I eat? I am out of the habit. I literally think I should eat then cant think of a damn thing I want.
Jeez what a bloody mess.

Well done bluey
Billie says thanks and so do I.

MrsD I shall go and give some blood instead of you even though it scares me shitless

I do eat with the kids maryz because I dont want them to be like me.

But I can properly go all day without eating anything. Like herbie says its really hard to learn how to eat again. I have never been great but when Billie was ill I lived on redbull and neurofen +. I eat when I am pg.

Dont be scared sibling it doesnt hurt and you get crisps after