DP 'playfighting" with me

[IWannaBeTheMinority]

Started a new thread because the last one went funny.

Just been to the cinema with DP. Before the film started he "playfully" punching my leg. He did this 3 times and the 3rd time actually really hurt. I hit him in the arm in response and told him it had hurt. He acted shocked and said he couldn't understand how he'd hurt me as he was only doing it lightly. He said he must have accidently hit a nerve or something. I let it go because in the past we have had playfights but I have stopped them because a) it's just stupid and b) it always ends up going too far.

So we're sitting there, he goes to hold my hand and then nips it really hard and giggles. I pulled my hand away and asked what the fuck he was playing at and that it really hurt (this hurt more than the first thing). He looked confused and just said "what???" as if he didn't know what he'd done. At this point I almost walked out. I'm wishing now that I had.

As I said we have done the playfight thing in the past but I don't react anymore and have told him I'm not doing that anymore. AIBU to have been really annoyed by these things in the cinema?? I don't see other couples sat there punching and nipping each other. He's now acting as if nothing has happened.

Um, that is seriously strange behavior

I don't know your history but someone hurting you deliberately is really horrid

I would run like the wind

ummm I think you got your answer on your other thread - if your DP takes pleasure in inflicting pain on you then you need to be out of this relationship and he needs to grow the fuck up

HTH

There was a play fighting thread ages ago. It only went funny to the extent that posters pointed out he was a seriously nasty piece of work.

He sounds like a five year old with no idea of boundaries.

He likes to think he's 'joking', but I can't see how hurting another person is even remotely funny, especially someone you love and they've told you to pack it in.

Is he having trouble expressing how he feels about you? Like a boy who pulls the girl he likes pigtails?

It's the only explanation I can think of if you believe he loves you and does it with no malice (and I presume you don't think malice is involved or you'd have detailed how you punched him square in the face for it).

Horrid. Punching and giggling? That's right sexy, that. Tell him it stops and mean it.

My brother used to do this. Thankfully he grew out of it aged about 7.

Looking at the posts I cross posts with, a man who's papering over hurting you as a 'joke' in such a way is creepy and sinister to me.

For some reason (which I can't fathom) it just seems more underhand and maniuplative than someone using overt anger to hurt their partner, (not that either are right).

If you are the poster who posted about your partner abusing you before under the guise of "playfighting" then yes, your thread went "funny" because you couldn't handle the truth

your P is sick in the head, and enjoys pushing the boundary of how far he can hurt you, before you say enough is enough

it seems you are both still playing that stupid (and dangerous) game

Depends on how long you have known each other really. My husband and I will playfight sometimes... usually when he is trying to annoy me (in a jokey way).. and a few times he has hurt my arm because he really is a lot stronger than he realises.. BUT, when I say stop, he stops, and he apologises.

Even my parents used to playfight.. my mum had bony fingers and my dad had hands like shovels, but my mum could intertwine her fingers between his and have him writhing on the floor as her fingers were so strong.. he would be begging for mercy!

It is all about knowing the boundaries though and it sounds like either your DP is overstepping them, or you are being over reactionary and I cant work out which to be honest.

I should also say, all my family, and all my husbands are very physical and we all play fight a fair bit.. so it isnt unusual for any of us to be giving each other dead arms or legs... (god, we sound awful!! but we arent really!)

Put a clothes peg on the end of his knob when he's asleep 'for a laugh'.

Seriously though, he's an arsehole. This kind of behaviour is not funny, not sexy & not on.

what you are saying is not normal.

He's a bloody idiot. Time to take a step back if he has so little respect for you.

squeakytoy, i agree with what you have written.

me and DH playfight, but once someone calls time than that is it...what is not normal is when someone don't stop

My last thread was posted a few minutes before this one but the title went all messed up. Apart from that, I havn't posted about this before.

you know what squeaky, if my h "hurt my arm a few times" he would no longer be my h

once is a mistake, never to be repeated

"a few times" implies carelessness or intent, both of which are unacceptable

I think the OP posted just a little while ago and the titled looked fucked up- a '&quo' kind of thing

Are you hoping for someone, anyone to agree your situation is OK Minority, or are you gathering together the strength to tackle this as best you can?

What do you think you could do to stop him?

Totally weird... Even weirder somehow that it was in a presumably otherwise quiet public place?

ok, you haven't posted before

my reaction is still the same

"playfighting" is for bear cubs in the wild

when your human partner hurts you on purpose or accidentally-on-purpose, it's given another name

physical abuse

when he tries to tell you that you are stupid/ridiculous for objecting, then that is emotional abuse

ringing some alarm bells, isn't it ?

it should do

Doesn't sound good, especially if he's now pretending nothing has happened rather than apologising profusely and promising it will never happen again.
Squeakytoy, how many husbands have you got?
"all my family, and all my husbands are very physical.."

Take up a martial art and see how much longer he likes playfighting once you pack a mean 'playpunch to the ribs'

Take up a martial art and see how much longer he likes playfighting once you pack a mean 'playpunch to the ribs'