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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My child's not perfect.

83 replies

CarolCervix · 30/11/2011 21:51

Series of documentaries coming up on ITV next week.

surely no bloody children are perfect. does this mean children with additional needs are less perfect than others?

I have no idea if the series is any good but I think the name is really really shit.

AIBU and irrationaly Angry

OP posts:
tigerlillyd02 · 30/11/2011 23:07

I have the opposite view - every child is perfect, no matter what conditions they may have.

Regardless of how you view it, the title of the programme isn't good so YANBU.

WorraLiberty · 30/11/2011 23:10

I interpreted it as being meant in an ironic way, ie we are shocked to find there is something 'wrong' with our child as we have this misconception that 'perfection' means being able to do stuff, doing well at school, having friends etc.

That's how I interpreted it too.

I think it's meant to be ironic...but has backfired spectacularly.

duchesse · 30/11/2011 23:14

I think I agree with you Worra- an idea that seemed very thingish in a meeting room at the Beeb suddenly looks very other when you get it out in the open. I think that probably is what they meant.

CadetDevilcat · 30/11/2011 23:22

I don't think I have ever met a 'perfect ' child - or adult for that matter!

I fear I would shit myself if I ever met a perfect human being I would suspect that they were either a Stepford Wife or from the Village of The Damned

Kids are kids are Kids, some of them have different needs to others and should be treated the same as all others

TroublesomeEx · 01/12/2011 00:21

My DCs both picked up on this.

I don't watch these sort of programmes though - DH saw the trailer and apparently one of the mum's said something along the lines of she'd have preferred her son to have been diagnosed with a brain tumour; "at least they could cut that out"! Shock

I'm sure all the parents at home whose children have brain tumours were really pleased to hear it's that easy Hmm

I agree that it was probably intended to be ironic.

Anyway, I won't be watching.

TroublesomeEx · 01/12/2011 00:23

Hellhasnofury - your son is absolutely correct. I tell my children all the time that they might not be perfect, but they are perfect for me.

And they are!

lisaro · 01/12/2011 00:33

Every child is perfect, no child is perfect - if you see what I mean. But for the word to be used in the TV context is, in my view, quite offensive.

TroublesomeEx · 01/12/2011 00:57

I know exactly what you mean, lisaro, and agree with it completely.

"My name is FolkGirl and my child's not perfect."

At least, that's how it looks. Like it's an admission or an apology. Leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

lisaro · 01/12/2011 00:59

Folkgirl Damn good analogy.

69funkygibbons · 06/12/2011 22:42

Oh my god I cannot believe there lots of you getting annoyed by the name of this programme! Surely the most important thing is getting the message out there that these kids struggle. My daughter has asd, and my son possibly has asd and add, and to me they are PERFECT! If it gets people watching and understanding the difficulties these children have I'm all for it.

whackamole · 06/12/2011 22:46

I did think the title was a bit, I don't know - odd? But tbh I think the message they were trying to get across (about non-visible disabilities) is important.

And I knew someone would take offense at the woman that said she would rather her son had a brain tumour.

69funkygibbons · 06/12/2011 22:50

I agree insensitive, but can totally understand where she's coming from, my daughter has lost 9 years of her life because of undiagnosed asd, she is now 13, only diagnosed 8 months ago, and everyone put it down to her being a bitch or my bad parenting! If she'd have had some medical illness it would have been treated and hopefully gone away, she's on anti depressants, self harming and a school refuser!

cestlavielife · 06/12/2011 22:52

the programme bagan with voiceover saying with shock that even rich people with "perfect lives" - paraphrasing - can have kids who are "not perfect" shock!
duh..

it was clear the boy adam had ASD - who knows why they had only diagnosed traits for 8 years but there you go.

Sevenfold · 06/12/2011 22:55

YANBU
I haven't watched it, the title alone made me to angry.
my dd might have severe sn, but in my eyes she is fucking perfect.
(you know what I mean)

cestlavielife · 06/12/2011 22:55

and yes a "straightforward" brain tumour maybeclearer from a medical point of view than the unkown/undiagnosed tho of course devastating to the family.

69funkygibbons · 06/12/2011 22:55

I think that's the thing, it's obvious to us that live with asd and know but not to general Jo bloggs! Hopefully programmes Like this will help children in the future!!! We just need to educate the secondary schools.

Sevenfold · 06/12/2011 22:57

bloody hell did someone say they would rather their child had a brain tumour ,WTF
glad I didn't watch, both my parents died from brain tumours, not pretty

manicinsomniac · 06/12/2011 23:20

I've only watched the first 10 mins but so far it seems well made and informative.

The brain tumor comment woman was extraordinarily ignorant to say that though. A 10 year old boy in my class died of a brain tumor last year. I'm sure his parents and brother would love to have him around as a teenager with tourettes rather than have this huge aching hole in their family! I'm sure tourettes is devestating but it's not life threatening!

DiamondDoris · 06/12/2011 23:23

Saw the programme (waiting diagnosis of my wonderful and perfect DS for ASD) - not very informative and don't think it will make people be any more tolerant of non "NTs" and so on. A lot of people, especially the elderly, seem to think you're not doing something right. My DS squawks and screams and people look, even with a diagnosis of ASD there are those who still choose to believe they're naughty. I don't think the programme was particularly enlightening or educational. People need to be educated that there are all types of children in this world, some who fit in and some who don't for whatever reason.

ColonelBrandon · 06/12/2011 23:33

The work shown with the young child with selective mutism was very interesting and the SALT was excellent. Also pleased they showed the teenage boy with tourettes having a great time as part of his band.

My dc responded to the title - asking why are they not 'perfect' - as it jars with the messages he gets at home and school. Thought the title was tabloid but it grabbed the attention, as it intended.

snowybun · 06/12/2011 23:37

Haven't watched it yet but can't say I object to the title. I have a Ds with asd and just took it to be 'yes my child is displaying behaviours not appropiate but this is why' might have a different view point after watching but that is my first reaction and why I have recorded it and I am generally interested to see what is said.

OurPlanetNeptune · 06/12/2011 23:40

YANBU. It is a stupid title, and as for listing 'imperfections' really? Twits.

Thank goodness we are not all perfect clones. My three boys' 'imperfections' are what make them individual, interesting human beings.

dontrememberme · 06/12/2011 23:47

maybe not the best choice of words but i thought they were just trying to make a point, not trying to say these children have xy&z conditions and are therfore imperfect.
My children are both perfectly imperfect one happens to be disabled the other isn't.

wifey6 · 07/12/2011 07:31

I agree...wasn't impressed with the title. Actually cried watching this last night.
The saying in my house...(my child doesn't have any special needs etc)...is no-one is perfect...but we are perfect for each other. That is in reference to us as a family.

TroublesomeEx · 07/12/2011 09:15

Wifey6 we say the same in ours Smile

Well it defeated the object. I didn't watch it.

Although I'm never interested in voyeuristic television. Not interested in seeing children, who haven't consented to having their private lives shown as 'entertainment' for others - however they choose to dress it up, and however other people choose to receive it.

Neither of my children are perfect either (no SN). Hmm