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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to make dd wear braces ?

88 replies

readsalotgirl · 29/11/2011 23:51

Have posted in preteens and WWYD but need some advice quick. DD is 12 and needs braces as top jaw is much further forward than bottom. Dd was NOT keen to have braces at all but after much arguing, persuading and some bribery agreed on condition they were fitted at start of school hols so no opportunity for any teasing at school.

Fixed braces (traintracks) fitted at start of hols, dd appeared reconciled to idea and was getting on well. We told her how pleased we were etc and there were some rewards.

Now she has to have removable/functional applinaces which are supposed to be in at least 16 hours per day (including overnight). Tears at dentist, major meltdown in car which led to me saying " well take them out then" which she did. Then after she had calmed down and I had bitten my tongue she put them back in of her own accord. Again we said how pleased we were, lots of encouragement etc. However after 4 days she has now said she does not want to wear the braces and will accept her teeth as they are. I am upset as she is getting this done on NHS and I am sure when she gets to 17 and DOES want it done she (we)'ll have to pay. I'm also cross that she 's wasted the 5 months of wearing the traintracks and is probably denying some poor kid who really does want their teeth fixed the opportunity.

Am I wrong to think we need to make her do this ? I think (and dh agrees) that she will regret it when she is older if she doesn't do it now. I also think she is too young to make this decision - what if next week she decides she doesn't want to go to school ?

How do we persuade her to - or should we make her do this ? Help please

OP posts:

Trills · 30/11/2011 09:21

Bribery. As much as it takes.

Braces are horrible. They hurt and they are uncomfortable and it's hard to talk and you think everyone is looking at you and having them fitted makes you gag. But they are worth it.

Why not gather a load of "I had braces and I'm glad" vs "I refused my braces and I regret it" stories (on here?) to show to her?

HauntedLittleLunatic · 30/11/2011 09:25

How come some of you have braces in children so young?

My Dd needs orthodontic treatment but dentist won't refer her until she is at least 12 and all her adult teeth are through. And then we will have a year on the waiting list. That will make her about 13 before she gets seen for assessment. She is 10 now.

BoffinMum · 30/11/2011 09:30

If there's a medical reason for it, then it needs to be done or they will have all sorts of tooth decay and wearing problems when they get older. You just have to keep on at her to do this. Getting the support of her school and friends will help. As will bribery.

Catsmamma · 30/11/2011 09:31

She must get over this silliness! We are just about to go on the third round of orthodontics with ds2. He has a horrendous amount of teeth, baby teeth removed to make room, also adult teeth.

Already had a retainer (wire on plastic plate)...that made a significant difference in seven weeks, summer before last, then onto fixed tracks at the top, I think they were in for 12 weeks.

Third round commences in two weeks, with four teeth out before christmas and then tracks top and bottom fitted in january.

It is horrid for them but it must be endured, and it is not just for vanity, if the nhs are funding it then it's needing to be done.

We took pictures once a week and if you click through them quickly you CAN see the teeth moving, that really motivated DS and although he knows we have another round to go through he is glad to have had the treatment so far.

SoupDragon · 30/11/2011 09:31

DSs have had theirs since 7 and 8. Its not NHS though and has cost an eye watering amount. However, the results are meant to be "better" than extractions/traintracks when they are older.

They will be wearing them until they stop growing (only overnight by the time they are 13) so, in fact, the amount of treatment we've got for the money if you look at the time scale is pretty good.

Catsmamma · 30/11/2011 09:35

Haunted I think it depends on how many adult teeth they have, my lot all hang on to their baby teeth, ds1 lost his last one at 16....it was wiggly, but he has yet to forgive the dentist who said "OOOH A BABY TOOTH....I'll have that out" and wheeked it out without so much as a by your leave! :o

And dd was 15 when her last one came out!

Ds2 has had so many out..... to make room, but still they keep coming in, we are beginning to think he may be a dental freak!

exoticfruits · 30/11/2011 09:36

Does she not know anyone else with them? When mine had them when met what seemed to be the entire youth of the town in the waiting room! They just accepted it as normal even though they didn't like it. They were so pleased with the results.Do get her to persevere orshe will regret it later.

MistyB · 30/11/2011 12:19

As others said, she could manage 16 hours from 5pm till 9am.

If the pain is a problem, I can still remember how painful mine were, you could see an osteopath who might also be able to help the process along but will definitely be able to help with the pain.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 30/11/2011 13:35

I've now got to convince DD following appointment this morning to have phase 2 of treatment as functional appliance coming off in February, overbite now corrected and top teeth looking good.

When we go back she'll be given option of train tracks top and bottom for 18 months and she isn't keen. He's said they won't make much difference on her top teeth so am wondering if she can have them just on bottom. Problem is she starts Upper school next September and can see her getting fresh start with no brace. She's been buillied and I can see how appealing this would be but am wondering if I should persuade her to have them just on the bottom - am hoping that is an option and that they wouldn't really be noticable as hidden by lip.

lashingsofbingeinghere · 30/11/2011 13:58

DS had a removable plate from about 12 to 13 to correct an overbite. It was on the NHS because it was quite severe.

We offered a massive bribe (laptop) to see the treatment through.

It was a struggle and took about 12 months if I remember correctly but the bribe did the trick!

HarderToKidnap · 30/11/2011 14:03

I had what she has - its a huge piece of plastic filling her whole mouth and she has to clench her bottomw jaw around it. This helps bring the bottom jaw forward. It was a horrible, horrible experience wearing it as it makes speech impossible. To be honest, I took it out on the way to school and put it back on the way home. But it worked and I have lovely teeth and aligned jaws.

CarefullyAirbrushedPotato · 30/11/2011 14:12

I have the other side of the story- I had a "lovely big madonna-esque gap between my top front teeth" and I wish I'd kept it. My mum and the dentist twisted my arm into getting braces which I had for Bloody Years. They were uncomfortable and embarrassing, caused one traumatic incident and took away my gap. Which it turned out was a part of my identity that I miss. Nobody worth knowing will care anyway.
(as it happens the braces exacerbated a smal injury I had and I ended up with a bridge in my late teens. I wont be strong arming anyone into braces)

amicissima · 30/11/2011 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tonksforthememories · 30/11/2011 14:20

I had a plate to keep a gap open after a baby tooth was removed. Wore it for 2 years and had to adjust it every other day. Yes, it was a PITA, but the result was worth it.

I also had an awful lisp as you have to get used to your palate being that little bit lower. Doesn't take long though!

Maybe suggest she does what Harder did? then she still gets the 16h a day.

A1980 · 30/11/2011 14:26

Make her do it.

I got removable braces fitted at 14-15. Thye hurt, I couldn't talk, I couldn't eat and I hated them. I decided I wasn't wearing them. My mum did nothing to make me wear them or ask about alternatives.

Now I'm 31, my top teeth are constantly in contact with my bottom lip as they jut out so much. I kepp biting my bottom lip. Becasue my top jaw protrudes over the front, it has spoiled my profile and my chin looks pushed back. I also have creases down the sides of my mouth leading to my chin becuase of my jaw jutting out. I shudder to think how it will look as I age.

Do I have £3000 to get braces now? Do I hell!

Pinkx3 · 30/11/2011 14:26

I haven't read every single post here so apologies if I am repeating what has already been said but I should have had braces as a teenager and didn't. I avoided the dentist and my parents didn't force me and I truly regret it now. I have an overbite and a squint front tooth which I now hate but it's too late (or too expensive!!) for me to do anything about it now. I think you should encourage your daughter as much as possible to fix her teeth now as she will regret it in later life.

MediumOrchid · 30/11/2011 14:34

If you need a story about regretting not getting a brace have mine - I must have been about 13/14 when I was offered a brace for cosmetic reasons, as my teeth were a bit wonky. My Mum tried to convince me but I was adament I didn't want one, and my Mum made my promise I wouldn't blame her in the future when I regretted it, which of course, I now do. I really hate my teeth and if I had the money I would have them changed. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to just get one!

Dee03 · 30/11/2011 14:34

Hi..I've just cone back from a regular trip to the Orthadontist with my 14 year old ds.
He's worn train tracks and bands for past couple of years now....only another 6 months to go then treatment is finished ( fingers crossed)..
I would push her to get them done now personally....it's for her own good in the long run....if she refuses to wear them now then when she's older and decides she wants them then she'll have to get a part time job and pay for the treatment herself....well she would if she was mine

LiegeAndLief · 30/11/2011 14:34

I had train tracks and then a retainer between the ages of 13 and 16. Yes, it is horrible. Yes, the train tracks really hurt and I couldn't eat every time they were tightened. Yes, I couldn't talk properly with the retainer in.

It was absolutely worth it, as if I had not had the braces I probably wouldn't be able to chew now. If your dd is getting this on the nhs I assume it is not just cosmetic? If she wears it from 4pm to 8am the next day that is 16 hours and hopefully means she wouldn't have to wear it to school. I'm with everyone else who thinks you must make her do this, particularly if it is not just cosmetic.

LaurieFairyCake · 30/11/2011 14:43

Dd (13) has train tracks.

She has broken the fixings for the last year as she is orally fixated (keeps chewing pens, nails etc) so the orthodontist said he will stop treatment and remove them unless she takes care of them.

I also told her that I would stop taking her (30 minute drive) if she didn't take care of them.

I also played on her 'vanity'. And she is now trying to take care of them.

RomanChristingle · 30/11/2011 16:05

I wouldn't push for it tbh. Crooked teeth aren't the end of the world. Most people have imperfections. I wouldn't pay for it when she's older either - if she's that desperate she could save up.

aubergineinautumn · 30/11/2011 16:14

Can she wear them just at night, for double the amount of time?

MercyDulbottle · 30/11/2011 16:33

Well, I was told I needed braces as a teen, and chose not to, no persuasion from parents.

I now have a gap in my teeth... but, I really don't care. really, really, never bothered me a bit.

It's not always a disaster to not have the brace.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 30/11/2011 16:39

YANBU.

Tough shit, make her wear them.

mardyelsie · 30/11/2011 16:46

aubergine I see what you're thinking, but functional appliances don't work like that. They work with the growing jaws to improve the bite, so need to be worn for a minimum of 16 hours a day in order to do this.

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