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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be ridiculously scared of episiotomy?

143 replies

RevoltingPeasant · 27/11/2011 20:34

...And I do mean ridiculously, because I am not even pg yet.

It is honestly one of the things I dread most about the idea of having a child. Do they ask consent, given what stage things are likely at by the time they decide to do one? Can you refuse? (I have read that in some countries, obv not the UK, they routinely do them without maternal consent Shock). Do they anaesthetise or just figure you're in enough pain anyhow, so meh?

OP posts:
Cutelittlecatlover · 27/11/2011 21:32

Mine was done with a scalpel rather than scissors, no idea why! It was fine though, I was so desperate to get ds out I was relieved when the doctor said she needed to cut me. I had a local anaesthetic so didn't feel a thing, I think I'd rather be cut again than tear.

clairemb12 · 27/11/2011 21:33

If you (or DH/DP)massage in some olive oil in the perineum area on a regular basis it may help to avoid the issue altogether ( worked for me as I also had similar fears ) I had no tearing cutting or stitches needed - it's worth a try! Good luck Smile

Sirzy · 27/11/2011 21:36

I had one and honestly didn't feel a thing. Would much rather do it that way and it be controlled than tear!

ViviPru · 27/11/2011 21:37

Shock Shock Shock @ all of you

Hello? could someone put me in the recovery position please? I'm down here..... helllllllo??????

jchocchip · 27/11/2011 21:37

I had 3 underwater deliveries and would not have consented to an episiotomy, and I don't think they do them in the pool so I was safe while I stayed there! I would rather tear. Pre labour perineal massage is supposed to reduce the risk of a tear and a skilled midwife will guide you through. I was induced with first and contractions bad until I got into the pool, with second baby midwifes arrived and wanted me to get out of pool for a ve but I refused as could feel baby decending (was born with next contraction but I did not push at all) The only pain was crowning with my second and I'm sure that being at home with a pool and no midwife until the very end contributed to this.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 27/11/2011 21:41

I had one due to forceps and didn't give a shit by that point. Stitches healed great and reckon it was a nice nip and tuck!

LoveBeingAFirework · 27/11/2011 21:43

After having two 2nd degree tears, the first one went up and down iyswim, I don't see how a cut could have been worse. Have to say I was more scared of forceps. Think everyone has something. Just make site your birth plan Nd birthing partner know your wishes.

Moominsarescary · 27/11/2011 21:44

I had one with ds1, it was fine and it hurt alot less and healed much better than when I tore with ds2

notcitrus · 27/11/2011 21:44

Someone on MN advised me to put the following in my birth plan:
happy for students to watch/examine under supervision etc " would prefer to avoid it but if I really need any cutting or stitches I want them done by an expert!"

An excellent decision as after a ventouse delivery I was informed by the chap enxt to my shoulder "if I ever needed this done, this is the woman I'd want doing it!" and by the next day I was having midwives gush in wonder at how nice the job was - more importantly I never felt a thing and only a tiny bit of soreness over the next week.

I gave my consent along with consent for a cs if the ventouse didn't work, so it wasn't brought to my attention when it was done - the epidural made it painless.

Would be very happy to have the same again.

Shushshessleeping · 27/11/2011 21:44

To be honest i didnt feel mine! My husband told me I'd had it done afterwards. Contractions were so strong, I could only feel them. I felt them emptying my bladder with a catheter and i'm still bruised from that 13 weeks later. Stitches healed fine although were painful a first. Hope to help!

Moominsarescary · 27/11/2011 21:45

I also had forcepts with ds1 as well and it wasn't that bad

perrosc · 27/11/2011 21:46

I wrote in my birth plan that I didn't want 1, but DS kept getting stuck and I was exhausted. MW said she just needed to make a small cut. She ended up making 2 cuts as the 1st still didn't work, but it didn't hurt IMO. The needle to numb it hurt a bit, but by that stage I was in so much pain it didn't really register. Try not to worry, you may not even need 1 :)

SatisfiedOtter · 27/11/2011 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsChemist · 27/11/2011 21:55

I had one with DS1 as it was going to be a ventouse delivery. I pushed him out just before then though.

The local they gave me meant I did't feel him crown, which I only realised was fan-fucking-tastic when DS2 was born. I screamed my fucking head off when he crowned.

Sitting was painful for a while, but it wasn't so bad.

bruffin · 27/11/2011 21:58

I ended up with one because I needed forceps. Apparently it was the consultant who actually did the stitches. All the MW were very admiring of his handywork when they came round to check meHmm

Must admit I did heal very quickly (lots of hot lavender baths) and didn't have any long term problems. DD was born two years later and I only had the tiniest of tears which healed naturally.

openerofjars · 27/11/2011 22:03

Look, the injection for the local anaesthetic was worse than the cut, at the time, and it got DS out, all in one piece and yelling his massive head off, which was all I cared about by then.

Agree with the general gist of other posters that, when it came to the crunch, I would have happily been painted purple, shaved, had a pineapple shoved up my bum and been presented to the Queen live on national television in that state to get my baby and myself through it and out the other aside. Hello, Mr Doctor! You want to make a neat slice in my fanjo? Be my guest. Just keep the gas and air coming.

And yes, I had "would prefer to tear naturally than be cut" on my birth plan. Grin

Plus, and this is something I hadn't considered, at 9 months pg, you are so fecking massive that you really cannot see the scissors, so with effective local anaesthetic/epidural/blow to the cranium, you won't know.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 27/11/2011 22:04

By the time I had mine I didn't know or care OP. They might have asked permission from somebody but I think by that point I was away with the fairies.

Didn't feel a thing by then, didn't notice I'd had the baby even, although I did wonder why they had plonked someone else's newborn on me and where it's mother was. I took some convincing before I would believe he was mine and apparently demanded to know what the doctor was still doing poking about inside me if my baby was now born.

And for a few months afterwards I was very aware of the place they had done it, it felt slightly thicker and twanged a bit occasionally, but it soon settled down and behaved itself.

lottielou39 · 27/11/2011 22:09

I had one with my eldest daughter. I didn't have a birth plan or even think about episiotomy beforehand, to be honest. In the end, after an epidural and a long time spent pushing, they suggested ventouse. As the doctor sat at the end of the bed, ready with the sink plunger ventouse, I asked 'are you going to have to cut me?', to which he simply nodded slowly. Nobody ever asked me for consent. It was fine though, healed quite quickly. Thankfully I had a natural delivery with my youngest daughter, no stitches, grazes or tears.. I'd say if you want to avoid episiotomy, make sure you make it VERY CLEAR from the start and in your birth plan and try to avoid an instrumental delivery if possible, (ie. avoid an epidural, they slow labour right down and increase your chances of ventouse/forceps/emergency c-section)

HeidiKat · 27/11/2011 22:13

Mine was done with a scalpel as well, not that I could see it but DH had a ringside seat and almost fainted, wuss Grin.

JAMW · 27/11/2011 22:17

I had one. Had a forceps delivery and the episiotomy kept on tearing internally, so I had stitches all the way up to my cervix. It was very very sore and still is (ds is 14 weeks). I lost a lot of blood as a result.

When I was pregnant I wanted to do all I could to avoid it, considered an epi-no. Glad I didnt now as I had to have forceps anyway.

To be honest, when a babies coming out of your bits, you literally don't give a damn what the hell is happening and a bit of a cut is nothing compared to contractions and crowning!

The healing was bad, but I can't imagine healing after any type of delivery is that much fun!!

MissMarjoribanks · 27/11/2011 22:17

I had one. I recovered really quickly - I didn't even need painkillers 24 hours later and it only stung for the first couple of wees. A midwife made the cut but a registrar stitched me up.

I didn't have a local but kept on with the G&A and it was fine. They wanted to get premmie DS out as efficiently as possible and so I was quite happy to consent to anything which might have made that happen more easily. I'd also been in labour for 3 days so was also keen to do anything which might have made it come to a conclusion quickly...

HooverTheHamaBeads · 27/11/2011 22:18

I had one and felt the sensation but no pain at the time. It was in the height of a contraction so I was in huge pain anyway!

I didn't want one but also didn't want to tear into my rectum which is what would have happened if it was not done. I only had one word on my birth pan which was flexible.

But didn't need one at all for DD2 although did tear a bit along the same scar line which was stitched.

I have healed up perfectly well with no ill effects.

rocksandhardplaces · 27/11/2011 22:19

I haven't a clue really, know I had one as I had forceps but it was actually really well mended and although it did hurt for the first while after the birth and I was scared of sex for 4-5 months, now it is like it never happened, honestly. And it isn't even that bad when it's happening.. it's not like that horror "I wish I would die" feeling you can get when you have a terrible d and v bug, it's just uncomfortable and sore and you wish it would hurry up and heal, like many other physical injuries.

JAMW · 27/11/2011 22:22

They sent me home with about 10 types of painkillers that they didnt for my epi-free friend!

TheAvocadoOfWisdom · 27/11/2011 22:23

OP - I was exactly the same before DS1 and most of the way through labour. After 2 and a half hours of pushing the midwife said cheerily "baby's a bit stuck but I think he's coming soon. Would you like me to do a little cut or shall we wait for it to stretch and tear?". I didn't feel it. I didn't need stitches. Honestly, it was a non-issue at the time :o