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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to just cut off contact in shame

118 replies

takingbackmonday · 26/11/2011 11:30

Last night I truly disgraced myself. I took a few painkillers and antihistamines earlier in the day and ended up so drunk I could barely walk. Lost phone, abused friends, people now hate me and I am sitting at home crying with shame.

WIBU to just disappear from these people's lives forever now I have apologised? I hate myself.

OP posts:
deburca · 26/11/2011 15:36

takingback just thought id give you my 2 cents worth. I too suffer the way you do, if I did something while drunk I wake up the next day absolutely mortified and crying and depressed. A belfast friend of mine refers to it as "the fear". Alcohol is a depressant so its no wonder you feel so bad the next day if you have had loads of it.

We ALL have done something when drunk, me more than once. I once accused a friend of mine and my boyfriend at the time of kissing! let me tell you that took weeks to sort out - but it was sorted out eventually as we were good friends.

I got sick the first time I met my now dh family (as his girlfriend). I got sick on the bed we were sleeping in after abusing his cousin regarding being a wanker! I had to face them all the next day as we were 300 miles aware from where we lived!.

Another night we were all out in Dublin and myself and a group of friends were out, one of them brought along an australian girl whom we lost about 2 hours into the night. We started to feel hungry so went to the restaurant attached to the bar and while we were there looked up at the screen showing niteclub next door and there was the australian girl, topless!!!!!! dancing to S club 7 and swinging her t-shirt above her head like she was practicing for the olympics!

I was born in Belfast and when I moved to England I once, on a nite out after about 9 vodka's got talking to a police man - at the top of my voice I started saying "this is great - where I am from we are not allowed to talk to you" - feeling any better? Its not only you - you feel bad cuz this behaviour is not normal for you.

Get yourself a large bottle of lucozade, make an omlet and try to get out for a walk, its the toxins that are making you feel this way!

stayformulledwine · 26/11/2011 15:46

YABU! Everyone has done similar at some point. You are sorry, you have said sorry and your friend is just being a twit. Leave the door open for contact but don't apologise anymore, what's done is done.

AttillaTheMum · 26/11/2011 15:48

I took all my clothes off, bar my high heels, knickers, bra and blazer. I then walked home.

We all do it (get drunk not naked)

takingbackmonday · 26/11/2011 20:34

I love you all. Thank you so much.

I'm 23. I spent today going for a long walk then watching the rugby (Aus vs Barbarians) and have come to the conclusion that my 'friend' is an absolute wanker for being so nasty when he knew I was full of regret.

Thank you for being so nice. Still mortified but less so than this morning.

OP posts:
takingbackmonday · 26/11/2011 20:35

Oh Attilla, you are my hero

I did wake up in a pristine Ted Baker dress smelling fragrant... God knows how this happened

OP posts:
peeriebear · 26/11/2011 20:52

On Monday I was supposed to go shopping after work but instead met my friend 'for a quick drink'. Ended up getting utterly shitfaced (drinking strong scrumpy on a mostly empty stomach!), was sick outside the pub, stumbled round Asda with my friend helping me, bought three things, managed to get home in a cab then was sick in the loo and on the sofa. Cried with remorse and shame, passed out on sofa (after DH had cleaned my sick up Blush), woke around 1am to find DH had left me a little pile of pyjamas, dressing gown, clean knickers and put the big cooking pot next to the sofa in case I was sick again. And the next day was his birthday too :( What a colossal ass! however I redeemed myself by buying him Skyrim and a Christmas pudding.

TartyMcFarty · 26/11/2011 20:56

OK, if it makes you feel better I once got incoherently drunk in front of a client, vomited in the taxi (a colleague paid the fine!) then fell into another colleague's bath and pulled the shower curtain down with me Blush I stumbled into work at lunchtime the next day.

Ilovedaintynuts · 26/11/2011 20:56

We've all been thereBlush

I have verbally abused people, vomited over them and even made passes at their husbands. Demon bloody drink!
Post- alcoholic paranoia doesn't help Grin

Heleninahandcart · 26/11/2011 21:05

Grin at AttillaI took all my clothes off, bar my high heels, knickers, bra and blazer.^ Very important to keep the high heels on. You have standards, I like your style.

ninah · 26/11/2011 21:08

I got caught by the trouser seat on top of the railings round Regent's Park

letmehelp · 26/11/2011 21:10

I did this one (once only mind) at a work Christmas party Blush It was very out of character for me and I had been ill in the days leading up to it so maybe the drink hard a greater effect than usual (that's my excuse anyway)

I phoned everyone who had been directly affected and appologised and took a big box of chocolate biscuits into work the next time I was there.

They all had a good laugh about it and it still gets mentioned around this time of year, but I didn't lose any friends over it.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 26/11/2011 21:10

Oh, come on, don't worry about it. We've all made total tits of ourselves when drunk.

Good friends help you find your stuff, hold your hair back while you throw up and take the piss without mercy for the next few months days Grin

Good friends do not rant at you.

They may tell you that you really did make a tit of yourself, but they don't tell you you're a disgrace for one drunken night out.

Since he has done similar but it's the end of the world when you do - Is he one of these who feels women should be ladies and behave genteelly? you know, you can't draw attention to yourself or get pissed if you have a vagina, sort of attitude? Grin

AutumnFalls · 26/11/2011 21:24

You woke up in a pristine Ted Baker dress smelling fragrant?

I need to get me some of that! Grin

Your 'friend' is a tit.

:)

peeriebear · 26/11/2011 21:29

TBH I'd probably put on my FB status something like
"Sorry to all who witnessed my debacle last night as I had inadvertently mixed meds with alcohol. I hope nobody had a camera! Feeling sheepish today but we have all done it."
Take the upper hand and laugh it off. People who try to shame you will hopefully have the wind taken out of their sails.

iFailedTheTuringTest · 26/11/2011 21:39

Medication and booze are an unpredictable combination. A very proper elderly gentleman I know had a small glass of ale at a very formal function. He was also taking some over the counter painkillers and antihistamines. By the time coffee was served, he was running round the room pretending to be an aeroplane.

Tis legend in my village. He had to be taken home by the host, he didn't dare show his face for months. poor chap.

We have all done it, trust me.

(mine involves being thrown out of a pub for starting a fight)

ThePickledGerbil · 26/11/2011 21:44

Gah, done this too many times. The worst time was at my SIL's wedding. No memory of what happened between about 2pm and 5pm, apart from secretly (or so I thought) flashing at my DH across the able Blush I sort of sobered up but became so tired and ill I became monosyllabilic and very rude to all, including my 14 year old nephew Blush

Whenever my friends have these sorts of episodes (and even my own mother once-I partly take the blame for that tiome though) I am so busy being relieved that it wasn't me that I wouldn't for one moment be angry with them.

It sounds like he may have got an idea of what he can be like when he saw you last night and just wants you to feel bad to maybe 'even the score' (he may suspect you've been angry/laughing at him before).

Whatever his reason, I wouldn't relish the idea of bowing and scraping to someone who seems keen to make you feel bad. If he won't let you laugh it off within a couple of days then get rid.

Oh, and have some carbs!

Zacsbird · 26/11/2011 22:37

I have done so many daft things when drunk I've lost count! Usually of the over friendly type though! Blush

One that really springs to mind though was a work leaving do. I'd been ill all week with a really bad cold so had taken loads of Sudafed, sends me loopy on it's own due to the caffeine, never mind with booze added. I really dosed up as was still feeling rough, but was having a fantastic time. My then manager was also a friend of my then bf, we met at her wedding and got together that night.

The leaving do was in the November I think, and my bf and I had been together for about 8 months at the time. My manager, who I suppose was also a kind of friend had spent that 8 months desperately trying to find out if me and the bf had spent the night together after her wedding, we had shared a room but it was none of her damn business. She had also been very sarcastic about our relationship and just generally annoying. She was known as a right nosy cow in work.

Anyway after a few wines she basically blurted out that she knew he had come back to my room, and the rest is really a blur. I just let rip, I really went for her, it was the culmination of 8 months of wanting to tell her to mind her fucking own! I was taken to a taxi rank and sent home, could barely stand.

Found out later she ended up in tears later on, I spent the weekend in turmoil but all was ok on the Monday and it was never spoken about again.

Shit like this happens, hope you are feeling better now, it's really not worth stressing over.

takingbackmonday · 26/11/2011 22:40

I've actually never had a go at him when he's been a drunken, aggressive twat. I've gently taken the piss a few times but that's it.

Smallish flashbacks have started. My phone has turned up at the Carlton Club which I suppose is something.

Thank you for making me laugh. It's made me realise that I didn;t hurt anyone I was just a pain in the arse and my 'friend' should fuck off appreciate that everyone gets drunk and stupid from time to time. The fact that HE recently fired me, my boyfriend of 3 years (who I lived with) left me and I've been put on ADs within a couple of months (all of which he knows) would have thought he'd give me a bit of leeway (sp) :(

OP posts:
ZillionChocolate · 26/11/2011 22:44

You're only 23! You're supposed to do this.

When I was about your age I got horrendously drunk, vomited in my boyfriend's flat, argued with him (think I was defensive about the vomit), insisted I was going to drive the 50 miles home there and then, and sat naked in the communal corridor of his flat sobbing until I could be coaxed back in. There are many such humiliations over the years.

Apologise once and then never bring it up again. Real friends will forgive you. Don't let him bring it up again.

ZillionChocolate · 26/11/2011 22:47

Should you be drinking on ADs? That can make you loopy.

He sounds like a real charmer Hmm

FionaBruise · 26/11/2011 22:49

we've found a phone its not yours is it? wot colour?

takingbackmonday · 26/11/2011 22:51

white blackberry... presume you're joking?

Yeah I can drink on them. Citralopram.

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 26/11/2011 22:54

If I told you about the time I got so steaming drunk that I went into the wrong house and threatened to call the police because I thought the inhabitants were burglars, I'd have to kill you.

Reader, we moved house shortly afterwards.

It was about 18 years ago, but I'm cringing now when I think about it. Honestly, we've all been fannies when we're drunk. Don't worry about it

FionaBruise · 26/11/2011 22:54

oh I wasn't joking. its a white iphone we found :-(

FionaBruise · 26/11/2011 22:57

yeah do not worry about that escapade. you are living to tell the tale.

I threw up on the bank manager on my first friday night out as a bank cashier

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