to be getting pissed off at people telling me why I shouldn't find out the sex?

[nightowlmostly]

The thing is, people ask, 'are you going to find out the sex?' and I say yes, and then they start going on about all the reasons why we shouldn't.

I realise that it isn't the end of the world or anything, but AIBU to think that we've made the decision that is right for us as a couple, and people should respect that and mind their own bloody business? It seems that they think it will be more exciting for them for it to be a surprise or something.

For us, the reasons we have decided to find out, (if they can tell us, obviously), are that it would be easier to plan a nursery, even though we don't plan to go mad pink or blue, it will help us with choosing a name, and my DH is really excited about finding out. I want him to feel as involved and attached to the bump as possible, so I feel that being able to refer to it as 'he' or 'she' rather than 'it' will help with that.

Fair enough, other people make different decisions and I understand why they may choose to keep it as a surprise, but why do they feel they have the right to tell me what I should be doing? Like I said, I know it's not that big a deal and that there is probably a lot more if this sort of thing to come, but I am getting pissed off and am likely to snap at the next person that does it!

Sorry, it got long, needed to vent!

Thanks all! And I know I sounded like I was trying to justify finding out, but I was just explaining really.

It is so hard getting used to people feeling they have the right to comment, I've had colleagues discussing my figure as if I'm not even there! I know to expect it but it is hard to let everything wash over you, and it is early days still!

I will just come on here and have a rant when they piss me off. Thanks everyone

we found out with DS, and will with this one too, if it complies! We both felt that as we were having the anomaly scan to check the baby had all the correct organs in the correct places, it would make little difference to check one more organ. Plus, we wanted to know. I'm glad we did, I had a horrible labour and birth, and by the time DS was born, I didn't give a crap what gender he was, I just wanted it over.

my family all told me not to find out, and I ignored them. My grandma has already said 'don't tell me what it is' with this one (am 12 weeks now...). I will probably tell her anyway.

good luck OP :)

No, YANBU.

My neighbour gave me a real cats bum face when I told her we knew the sex. The things people can be arsed to get their knickers in a twist about!

FWIW we had a surprise for number 1, found out with number 2 and if we have a number 3 (DH needs convincing) then I'm not sure what we'll do. I think that that says that neither experience was 'superior' to the other.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

The worst is when you ask people who know you found out, for them to say "Well we just want it to be healthy". Like I must be thinking I don't care if it has three legs or something as long as it's a girl.

I found out all 3 times because pregnancy is looong and I needed that excitement half way through [I was one of those kids who sneaked a look throgh the wrapping paper at christmas]. DH hated every name I suggested for either sex so it cut that trauma in half too.

I didn't find out and all I got was "but don't you want to know?"

Damned either way!

YANBU. We had this too. But it was not as annoying as the friend who was due five weeks after me, who found out but then refused to tell anyone (it was a girl, as things turned out) because it was 'an intimate secret'.

YANBU I always wanted to find out the sex of both my DS's, mainly for 2 reasons.

I HATE beige baby clothes

I thought that the idea of 'having a nice surprise' as many friends who advised not to find out was stupid. Seriously if having a baby isn't a big enough deal for you and you need that surprise to make the day special, then you really need to question why you are having children.

But that is my choice, other people see it differently, but as others have said, welcome to parenthood. Everyone, everywhere will think that that they are entitled to judge and 'advise' you on everything you do from now on, good luck!

YANBU - you can't win. Had you chosen not to find out, you would have been given reasons why you should. People just feel the need to comment - it's like you become public property when you're pregnant. Nosy bastards...

YANBU. Drives me mad. Every single person who I have talked to since becoming pregnant has asked me what I am having/will I find out/have we found out? I just hate that question.
FWIW we didn't find out with DD1 and haven't found out with this one (24 wks preg) I do not care about what everyone else does judge others for finding out or not, it's totally personal choice and a bizarre thing to have such strong opinions about.
I always get congratulated on being patient and waiting, now that's just an odd thng to congratulate someone on

WE knew the sex of our child, and it was most amusing to be told by those who didn't know, that they could tell I was having a a boy because yadda, yadda...at which point I'd say she was a girl. :o

make a list now of all the 'advice' you will be given when baby arrives, or even before baby arrives:
natural birth/take all the drugs available, bf/ff, routine/babyled, cot in your room/straight into it's own room, go out/stay in, have a drink/don't go near alcohol/caffeine..........

i found out what i was having in each pregnancy. it made me feel more connected knowing i was having a girl or boy each time. i felt like i could make assumptions about their personalities from their movements and reactions which made choosing a name easier. feisty girl feisty name lazy boy lazy name.

When I got these sort of comments, I told people I needed to know because if it was a boy it was going back. That shut them up and gave them a whole new thing to be cats bum about .

It is gobsmacking that some people, usually aged about 50+, think there is something strangely immoral about finding out the sex of your baby. Unfortunately some of the more insane members of my family thought along these lines and as a consequence I got a bit of a kick about finding out, just to annoy them.

You'll find out sooner or later!

You will learn sooner rather than later that people will always give you parenting advice- especially when you haven't asked for it :(

I believe you need to:

1. Grow a thicker skin
2. Do what suits you and your partner

Your body, your baby, your choice. I had to have a CVS test and given a choice in finding out the sex. I was happy that it was a boy as I wanted a boy. My first and only child. I was happy to share the knowledge with anyone who wanted to know. Hope all goes well.