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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re: SIL and eBay?

69 replies

KateShmate · 24/11/2011 16:15

Before I start, love SIL to bits - have a brilliant relationship and have always got on really well - our DC's are similar in ages and we parent in similar ways too. But anyway..
Quite a while ago SIL was selling something on eBay and the bidding was really low, despite being expensive item, so asked me to bid it up for her - was more than happy to, and she gave me her eBay ID..
A couple of weeks ago was her DD's 4th birthday and she said that she'd bought this brilliant toy off ebay from abroad that my own nearly-4YO DD would love.. she mentioned no more about it. Was struggling for DD's birthday so looked on SIL's ebay profile and tried to find said toy - found it and got one etc.. Anyway was just being nosy and looking through SIL's items and noticed that most things that our-side-of-family had bought for her DD's birthday, were now for sale on eBay..
I know I shouldnt have been that nosy, but has annoyed me a bit. Always spend a lot on her DC's for birthdays (on gifts I know that they will love! or that shes told me they are into TS3, barbie etc) yet the toys are being sold. My mum spent quite a lot on SIL's DD for birthday (despite having no money) yet all the lovely toys are on there too, as are toys of other DC's from previous birthdays or xmas.
I guess I would understand if her DC werent into the toys at all, but they were all character things that she asked us to buy; and she knows our mum cant afford much.
Also, they are quite well off so is not like the need the money at all? Brother seems to like all the presents we get (inc clothes) as does SIL, but then a few days later is all on eBay.
Isnt an 'issue' between us all, and would be tempted not to bring it up as SIL is so lovely, but has just annoyed us quite a bit.
WWYD?
Sorry for rant!

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 24/11/2011 16:17

Do think she is deliberately asking for expensive 'named' items so she can sell them for the money then? Confused

I can't think of any other reason why all of them end up there - fair enough one or two might not have been right or liked as much but all of them????

WhereMyMilk · 24/11/2011 16:19

YANBU to be disappointed that she's selling stuff immediately that she asked you to buy, but YRDefinitelyBU to nose around her account.

WorraLiberty · 24/11/2011 16:20

Would would I do?

Well firstly I wouldn't have done her shill bidding for her

Secondly I'd understand that people do tend to sell their kids toys when they no longer play with them.

And why do these sort of threads always end with "They're quite well off and don't need the money"?

Unless you're privvy to all their personal finances, that's not your decision to make.

filipolarbear · 24/11/2011 16:20

Upping the bidding for her is also not allowed, a lot of people go on ebay because they cant afford to pay loads so making them pay more than they need just because you like your SIL is a bit dodgy, so maybe discovering she is selling all your stuff is Karma.

thestringcheesemassacre · 24/11/2011 16:21

I would just start giving her vouchers for ALL presents going forward.
That would be the end for me of her giving out gift lists to hock.

Sossiges · 24/11/2011 16:21

You shouldn't be bidding things up for her, it's wrong and against ebay policy

FlamingFannyDrawers · 24/11/2011 16:22

Maybe her kids have outbrown them? As they are gifts she can really do as she pleases with them.

Really don't agree with bidding on her items on ebay though but thats a different thread.

Sossiges · 24/11/2011 16:22

Agree with the karma thing

Original poster
KateShmate · 24/11/2011 16:23

LaurieFairyCakes She definitely wouldn't ask for expensive things just to sell them - she never asks for certain things, but just says 'Oh DD is into Toy story, and barbie' - so Toy story and barbie things are bought!

Not every single present is on there (big family!), but most of the bigger ones..

OP posts:
FlamingFannyDrawers · 24/11/2011 16:23

*outgrown not outbrown

Shill bidding, thats the one. Couldn't remember what that was called.

filipolarbear · 24/11/2011 16:24

sossiges Thank you for my very first agreement/acknowledgment/whatever it is post. Do I get a badge? Grin

Original poster
KateShmate · 24/11/2011 16:25

Worra Liberty I know what you mean about all posts ending in that, but for this I only put it because otherwise I guarantee lots of 'Maybe they dont have much money!' comments..

Didnt realize I would get so much stick over the bidding thing... Hmm

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 24/11/2011 16:25

"she never asks for certain things, but just says 'Oh DD is into Toy story, and barbie' - so Toy story and barbie things are bought!"

Well there you go then, they're probably doubles if she's not asked for specific things.

DartsAgain · 24/11/2011 16:26

I thought at first it might be toys that had been outgrown, but on re-reading the op, it looks more like recently bought items that are appearing on ebay. I would not be happy with this myself, and would certainly be scaling back on present buying.

LoveBeingAFirework · 24/11/2011 16:27

Could they have received two of them?

Sossiges · 24/11/2011 16:27

No badge but you can have Wine and Thanks - much better Smile

Original poster
KateShmate · 24/11/2011 16:27

FlamingFanny Noo, the gifts were put on right after her DD's birthday - most still in packaging as on the actual day the presents were put away as cake came out and presents forgotten momentarily!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 24/11/2011 16:28

You didn't realise you'd get so much stick for shill bidding?

Why do you think most people turn to places like Ebay?

It's normally because it's supposed to save them money

Shill bidding is also illegal and if I were you I'd be very careful about admitting it on public chat forums!

izzywhizzyspecanpie · 24/11/2011 16:28

I'd be annoyed too and I certainly wouldn't be buying anything that was on your SIL's 'wish list' for your db's family in future.

However, the issue here is that, no matter how 'lovely' she is, your SIL is dishonest and in 'bidding up' one of her items on eBay, you are guilty of shill bidding which is a criminal offence.

To me, this would be a very serious problem and not one that I would be able to overlook because it goes to basic decency as well as trust - and it seems you can't trust these particular family members to behave with common decency.

I suggest you sit down with your brother and SIL and discuss your concerns because their behaviour is simply 'not on'.

Original poster
KateShmate · 24/11/2011 16:29

WorraLiberty Definitely not because of X2 - SIL doesnt talk to her family, so gifts are only from our-side (DD didnt have party) and all family was there so know exactly what she got.

OP posts:
spatchcock · 24/11/2011 16:30

YABVU for shill bidding, you won't get any sympathy from me I'm afraid.

WorraLiberty · 24/11/2011 16:31

I meant she might already have those toys in her toy box

WorraLiberty · 24/11/2011 16:32

shill bidding maximum fine

Deflatedballoonbelly · 24/11/2011 16:32

Jobsworths...

Original poster
KateShmate · 24/11/2011 16:33

Thanks for suggestions WorraLiberty, but we can safely say her DD didnt have most of the toys, received from our whole family, already.

SCock Thanks for pointless post :)

OP posts:
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