to tell them it is not my turn?

[BAAAAAAHUMBUG]

I have 3 siblings. I, one sibling and mother all live fairly near. 2 others a distance away.
I had mother for christmas last year. this year i have DH's family (mother, brother & Sil) coming to us.
Mother isn't exactly difficult but is a bit eccentric and straight and not really full of festive joy.
Anyway. I have announced to siblings that someone has to volunteer to invite her and it's not my turn. Siblings are not jumping to volunteer. Close sibling has already arranged to go to her inlaws. Mother has a dog and one sibling doesn't like it.. mother doesn't like other siblings DP.
So I am going to end up having to invite her here, meaning InLaws won't be so relaxed (they don't know her much and are very different). and I don't like feeling obliged.
Greetings Siblings if you see this.

Couldn't you have the dog whilst your mum goes to a sib's house.

no.

Then you are as awkward as your siblings and will just have to have your mum

If it's only for a day, why can't the dog be left at home or with a neighbour? And no, I haven't a dog because they are a pain when I want to go out without it. We used to have a rabbit so I know what it's like when you go away. Bu this is only 1 day, isn't it?

Mother obsessively attatched to dog. Siblings too far away for just a day out.

Can other sibling's DP be put in another room/left with a neighbour for a day?

YANBU, there are Rules about these things and the Rules say you must take it in turns. HTH.

wildfig - i like that. I will suggest it.

You have to play hard ball and risk it going down to the wire. Reiterate that it's not your turn and don't engage in any other conversation about it. bigbadbarry is right, there are RULES and the rules say you must take it in turns.

Have her this year and then look foward to the next six years in a row as your siblings HAVE TO have her twice each before its your turn again.

Or I think you could suggest to them all that you stick to a strict rotation starting this year with you, plan it all out now so everyone knows where they stand. Family Meeting!

YANBU your other siblings are, but your not alone I am willing to bet there are hundreds of thousands of people dealing with this sort of predicament each year, if you have your mum again this year I would make it very clear that next year it's definitely someone else's turn!

If they geniunely thought she'd be on her own on Christmas day, would they invite her? Is it just that they think you'll blink first and invite her again anyway?

It's not your turn. Tell them they can decide amongst themselves who is inviting her, but you can't have her as you are going to PILs/SIL's house and won't be at home to invite her over. Then funnily enough, your PIL's oven might just break the week before Christmas and it's all relocated to your house again....

I think you all sound horrible and can only wish you children just like yourselves about 30 Christmases from now.

I have to agree with montysma's sentiment. Imagine yourself in 30 years time on your own at xmas with your DCs fighting over whose turn it is to do their duty.

That said, your DM is not making it easy if she is uncompromising about the dog.

Phone your mum and ask her what she is doing this this year explain that you are wondering as you are under the impression that she will be with one of your brothers/sisters.
Have a conversation about where she would like to go. Can she make her own arrangements with your brothers/ sisters?
It comes to something when out of 4 DC, nobody bothers but having said that, the dog would be a big no here.
We have an aunt who will not be parted from her dog (ever) , we are not dog lovers and the dog isn't welcome at family homes. Consequently, aunt has missed every family gathering in every house other than her own.

YABU. obviously you must have her

I will be far too busy having fun elsewhere

I feel a bit sorry for your mum actually.

three children and not one of them wants to have her for christmas.

What's she done that means that it's all "It's not my turn, you have her, I had her last year, I don't want her, she doesn't fit it, why don't you have her..."

I mean - your mum?!

Did she beat you with a stick, lock you in the airing cupboard, make you wear clothes 6 sizes too big, spit on a hanky and wipe your face with it (on your wedding day?) what's she done to make you all argue over who has to have her?

4 children, sorry.

4 kids and not a bugger of them can stand her for christmas.

she must be a vile person to deserve that.

Some parents are hard work. Why should one nice DC get dumped on? I hope all my children are nice enough to each other to share me out

Your poor mum

You are right undoubtedly but I think it's a bit shitty for her.

I agree with Montysma too.

:(

I appreciate parents can be difficult, no doubt as children there were times when WE were difficult too, but dont worry.. your Mum will pop her clogs one day, and you wont have to get stressed about whose turn it is to put up with her.

Blimey, you make your mum sounds like the bloody dog!!

Your poor mum, I would be so gutted to think in years to come my DS was trying to palm me off on someone else for xmas!

Is she a vile mum as someone as suggested (stands to reason) or has she just raised vile children?