to tell them it is not my turn?

[BAAAAAAHUMBUG]

I have 3 siblings. I, one sibling and mother all live fairly near. 2 others a distance away.
I had mother for christmas last year. this year i have DH's family (mother, brother & Sil) coming to us.
Mother isn't exactly difficult but is a bit eccentric and straight and not really full of festive joy.
Anyway. I have announced to siblings that someone has to volunteer to invite her and it's not my turn. Siblings are not jumping to volunteer. Close sibling has already arranged to go to her inlaws. Mother has a dog and one sibling doesn't like it.. mother doesn't like other siblings DP.
So I am going to end up having to invite her here, meaning InLaws won't be so relaxed (they don't know her much and are very different). and I don't like feeling obliged.
Greetings Siblings if you see this.

YANBU expecting your siblings not to be selfish.

BUT YABU to be seeing it as such a chore. She's your mum ffs.

FWIW, my FIL goes to my SILs EVERY year. Its where he feels most comfortable, and if he didn't go there he'd probably just sit at home and sulk!

Saying that, I spend FAR more time with my parents than my DSis does. I love seeing them every Xmas, whereas DSis shows up when it suits! Its just the way of the world. You can't force your siblings to be better children, but you can be open and welcoming yourself.

Btw - did you mum really only come for an HOUR last year??

Hecate - I think you're being a bit unfair to the OP. My father is not a nice man at all, but DM is. She won't go out without him most of the time, so he has to come along with her. If it was just him, he wouldn't be invited so you shouldn't judge the OP. You don't know the history.

My Darling Mum died three weeks ago today and I'd fight my siblings to be the one to have another Christmas with her. Your poor mother, if she could hear what you are moaning about she'd no doubt be devastated. It is one day out of the year. I know dogs are a pain but this is your MOTHER you are whining about! Cherish the chances you have left......

My sister has been married for 26 years and has never had my mum and dad for christmas. I've had them a few times in 14 years with dh. My sister in Oz has had them every 3-5 years depending on my dad's health. My brother has NEVER had anyone over like my eldest sister.

Yes I would agree SKIP and feel the same about my own mother (as does DH). But not all families are nice - DH's mother is a very difficult and not kind person and has been really horrid to him over the last few years utterly undeservedly so. If you are from a happy kind family its easy to feel horrified at negative attitudes towards parents but sadly not all families are like that.

it's not that she's not nice, or we have a crap relationship, but more that we already have a houseful of inlaws and she is socially inept and the bloody dogs

and to disagree with Hec it feels like discovering your emergency chocolate is out of date.

Yes, yes, all of you berating the OP for her undaughterly attention, but why not berate the other siblings who weren't hosts last year?
The dog isn't your problem, and neither is the disliked DP - EVERYONE needs to be charitable an warm and welcoming to their relatives - your Mum to her son-in-law, your siblings to the dog - spread that spirit of christmas giving around and let the siblings have a turn!

Just tell them you are fully booked with a houseful and anyway since you had your Mum last year you don't want to be the only one to get to spend time with your nearest and dearest at yuletide.

You are allowed to do "one year, my parents, one year DH's parents" - firstly, your mum has a number of other children she could spend Christmas with, secondly, adults can spend the day on their own.

If your PILs re like mine, they will feel the need to be on their best behaviour if your mum is there, whereas if she wasn't they could get drunk and play silly games - if they like being silly, eating lots of 'naughty food' and watching crap TV, then your mum being there might ruin their Christmas day.

I still think pretending you are going to the PILs so it's not an option at all that she comes to yours will make your siblings step up. If not, they are very bad people .

If your mum hates Christmas that much, maybe she'd actually prefer to spend it on her own rather than being forced into jollity with her children and their partners/in-laws? And then you could just have her for Boxing Day or something.