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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to do this.

154 replies

Minus273 · 21/11/2011 12:43

I have just had the Council out as they are trying to have us taking off the list, we are homeless thanks to redundancy and are camped out in my mum's spare room. Before I get flamed for this I know we would be waiting years, I know there are no homes but not being allowed on the waiting list just feels psychologically like a kick in the teeth. I hope someone knows what I mean.

We are overcrowded as there are 3 adults, 1 child and about to be a baby so quite stressed living conditions. My Mum is elderly, I am 37.5 weeks pregnant so I have been struggling with the basic housework never mind anything else. I haven't seen DH for 5 weeks as he has been away finishing up at work away from home. The only good thing about this being his last day is I won't be trying to do everything myself any more.

There is a box room with the boiler on the wall, not in a cupboard but just in this small room. She objects that I didn't move the storage cabinet in the room for her. I could do it normally although would take a while I'm just not up to it at the moment when even walking hurts and I spent the time leading up to the 37 week mark on MW orders to rest to try and avoid premature labour due to signs I was showing. She then said I could fit a cot in if I slid it under the boiler so we wouldn't be overcrowded. When I objected saying it wasn't safe as the boiler regularly drops pressure letting the seal go and leaking boiling water. She said this was my choice not to do this so was deliberately making ourselves overcrowded and should do it as she thinks we shouldn't then be over crowded and have no right to be on the list. She spent the whole quick visit looking down her nose at me and making it clear she though I was scum. I can't stop sobbing now.

Am I really so unreasonable not to move heavy things when so heavily pregnant and to refuse to put my baby's life in danger?

OP posts:
Minus273 · 21/11/2011 12:43

Sorry if there are typos can't see properly for the tears.

OP posts:
StrandedUnderTheMisltoe · 21/11/2011 12:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eaglewings · 21/11/2011 12:46

So so sorry to hear that you are going through all this when you should be joyfully looking forward to the birth of your dc.

Get in touch with your MP ASAP ( well when you have stopped sobbing and eaten some chocolate)

Hope DH gets back soon

Gigondas · 21/11/2011 12:47

Sorry you are upset but let me get this right council person thought you should put cot in room with boiler where it vents . How is that a good idea (let alone being that pregnant )?

eaglewings · 21/11/2011 12:47

Or contact your midwife perhaps?

Gigondas · 21/11/2011 12:48

Would shelter be able to help advise on what's reasonable re overcrowding? Sorry ignorant on this kind of Thing.

Minus273 · 21/11/2011 12:50

Not until we have found a way to save a deposit stranded we would probably end up doing that anyway at some point as I know there would have been no house. Its more the not allowed on the list at present that gets me down. Its hard to explain, I know it would never actually lead to us having a house due to shortages but it felt like something was happening in the mean time. Something that wasn't another kick in the teeth. Its so hard to put this train of thought into words, I hope someone can understand what I mean

OP posts:
Portofino · 21/11/2011 12:50

I though ANYONE could go on the list? The chances of actually getting a property obviously depends on your circumstances.....Have you been to CAB yet? You should be entitiled to Housing Benefit etc.....Where does DH live when he is working?

Minus273 · 21/11/2011 12:51

She wants me to slide the cot in underneath the boiler, it is on the wall of the boxroom.

OP posts:
Minus273 · 21/11/2011 12:52

Dh stays with family when working, at least he did. in 4 hrs he will be unemployed :(. I had called CAB but they have advised I come back sometime next month as they are very busy.

OP posts:
MrsHuxtable · 21/11/2011 12:54

I cannot comprehend how this woman expected you to put a cot underneath a boiler. I'd be complaining about her and question her sanity.

Portofino · 21/11/2011 12:54

So you haven't actually yet made an appointment? Does your council do a rent deposit scheme? Presumably DH will now be able to go to the job centre and get advice on what benefits you will be entitled to on top of JSA?

InDulciJubilo · 21/11/2011 12:54

Get onto a Housing Association list. With such a small/no income you should be able to apply for Housing Benefit and Council Tax benefit. What do you mean by 'elderly'? Is your mother 80? 85? That's elderly in my book and if she is that old, I would not have burdened my mother like that.

If she is 60-65, she is not elderly and should be able to help with applications for a HA place. Perhaps she still goes to work? If so, it means that your have the house to yourself and your children so there is space there. And what happened to all your furniture and household things? In storage (for which you are paying)?

There are plenty of others in the same boat and many of them get on with it, getting themselves out of it (baby coming or not).

Minus273 · 21/11/2011 12:55

I'm scared to complainin case that makes it worse.. Just had a fight with DH on the phone as he wanted to call and complain.

OP posts:
kelly2000 · 21/11/2011 12:57

you could try your MP, or try shelter. They have a helpline that is free even from mobiles I believe. According to their website you are classed as homeless even if you are staying with friends family.
I would also advise emailing the woman and asking outright if the council are saying a cut should be put under a leaky boiler, as it is always better to get things in writing, and they are mor elikely to be reasonable when they no it is in writing.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 21/11/2011 12:59

When DH gets back, you should go and tell them that your mother is no longer able to put you up and that you are homeless. She is under no legal obligation to house you and if it gets some action then so be it.

RealityIsADistantMemory · 21/11/2011 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveBeingAFirework · 21/11/2011 13:00

How can it make it worse by complaining?

Minus273 · 21/11/2011 13:01

She's 75. All the furniture that didn't fit in the garage we had to get rid off.. I didn't say there weren't people worse off and I am trying to get on with it. I still don't see how that justifies the woman being nasty. If you read my OP you should notice I did say that I wouldn't have got a house and we want to try and find a deposit for a private let.

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe80nappies · 21/11/2011 13:01

Is your mum's place a council house or does she own it?

I can understand why you are upset, but you have said yourself that the chances of you getting anywhere are slim.
The only thing you can do is look at other options, or make the best of being at your mum's for now.

Can the boiler be fixed or moved?

squeakytoy · 21/11/2011 13:02

We are overcrowded as there are 3 adults, 1 child and about to be a baby so quite stressed living conditions

Ok. well to me that really is not overcrowded. A little cramped, but you all seem to have a bedroom.

If your husband is being made redundant, there must be redundancy money, and he has been working up until now, so I cant understand why you are homeless anyway? The redundancy money could go towards a deposit (or the wages that he has been earning while you have been living at your mothers).

HappyCamel · 21/11/2011 13:02

YANBU, but can you not use redundancy pay for a deposit, have you no savings at all? Did you get a deposit back from your last place? Then you could use HB and other benefits to keep going.

It must be really tough for you, I hope he finds a new job soon.

WorraLiberty · 21/11/2011 13:03

If you have a boiler that regularly drops pressure letting the seal go and leaking boiling water, surely she could see this? I mean the damp it's caused and the damaged seal?

Also, is it not possible to use the downstairs of the house to sleep in...thus avoiding putting the cot under the boiler?

Minus273 · 21/11/2011 13:05

The length of the room is approximately the length of the cot, well enough to slide your hand between the wall and the cot. It is the breadth of the cot plus 2cm. There is no way to get the cot without it sitting under the boiler.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 21/11/2011 13:05

Presumably a newborn would be in with its parents for a few months anyway?

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