To refuse to do this.

[Minus273]

I have just had the Council out as they are trying to have us taking off the list, we are homeless thanks to redundancy and are camped out in my mum's spare room. Before I get flamed for this I know we would be waiting years, I know there are no homes but not being allowed on the waiting list just feels psychologically like a kick in the teeth. I hope someone knows what I mean.

We are overcrowded as there are 3 adults, 1 child and about to be a baby so quite stressed living conditions. My Mum is elderly, I am 37.5 weeks pregnant so I have been struggling with the basic housework never mind anything else. I haven't seen DH for 5 weeks as he has been away finishing up at work away from home. The only good thing about this being his last day is I won't be trying to do everything myself any more.

There is a box room with the boiler on the wall, not in a cupboard but just in this small room. She objects that I didn't move the storage cabinet in the room for her. I could do it normally although would take a while I'm just not up to it at the moment when even walking hurts and I spent the time leading up to the 37 week mark on MW orders to rest to try and avoid premature labour due to signs I was showing. She then said I could fit a cot in if I slid it under the boiler so we wouldn't be overcrowded. When I objected saying it wasn't safe as the boiler regularly drops pressure letting the seal go and leaking boiling water. She said this was my choice not to do this so was deliberately making ourselves overcrowded and should do it as she thinks we shouldn't then be over crowded and have no right to be on the list. She spent the whole quick visit looking down her nose at me and making it clear she though I was scum. I can't stop sobbing now.

Am I really so unreasonable not to move heavy things when so heavily pregnant and to refuse to put my baby's life in danger?

No point me replying if Minus has hidden the thread. However, if someone is on pm terms with her, could you advise, if she will, that it is a good idea to contact her local councillor and see if they are able to act on her behalf. Once they know what the lady from the council has suggested things may have a much better outcome for her.

also contact the charity "Shelter" they have great knowledge about your rights and all relevant legislation to do with housing, i contacted them two years ago about a dreadful landlord problem we were having and they were completely helpful and not judgemental at all. so sorry you are having problems

Thumb - is minus mrsxstitch? Very similar scenario it seems.

I don't know why you felt the need to bump this dead thread Thumbwitch?

The OP has been given good advice - which as per usual has been lost in the accusations of people being nasty to her.

Along with the midwives who called her names and told her she should keep her legs shut, random people who on having doors opened by the OP tell her to fuck off, people on airlines refusing to move when she needs a wee, countless officials all telling her that she is useless scum and that she should not be entitled to anything at anytime anywhere.

This is not the way the real world works - and is indicitive of someone who is struggling to separate their own feelings from actual reality. I absolutely think that it is perfectly OK for the OP to post here on MN, and to garner whatever support she needs, what is NOT OK however, is that not everyone here, lurkers or otherwise, know straight off the bat that there are these problems with this poster - and can be SCARED that a nasty council official, GP, Midwife, solicitor, judge, whatever - has the power to act in a way which runs completely contrary to the laws and restrictions places on them.

I expect I will now be called a bully myself, even though I really think that this needed to be said.

Alibaba...I was wondering that too? Is she? Anyone know??

Yes she is.

I wasn't aware that there was a time limit on threads, Shirley - and did not timecheck the previous post to see. People were asking where she was, I answered. Sometimes I don't get to every thread I'm on every day - so sometimes I miss things for a day or so. There was no "need to bump" the thread - I was just telling people that minus had hidden the thread and trying to correct a few misconceptions AND point out that she is a very vulnerable poster, as well as troubled and having a lot of shit going on.

But hey - several of you have already made your minds up about her - ignore her threads in the future, don't stick the knife in by suggesting she's trolling.

There isn't a "time limit on threads" but surely if you're trying to defend your friend and make life easier for her you would check to see the time of the last post before bumping a thread which is so upsetting to her (which she has hidden, as you say)

You can't expect posters to just ALL say "there, there" to someone who is clearly "getting bad advice" from pretty much every single person they encounter - it's not sticking in the knife in FFS.

And thanks for proving my final point BTW.

Shirley - Thumb replied 25.5 hours after the last post, from a different time zone - it's not really bumping a dead thread - be fair.

I wasn't aware that Thumbwitch is in a different time zone. I apologise in that case.

you sound a bit "hormonal" OP and probably seeing imagined slights Am I really being so bad to want them to treat me as a human being rather than something they have scraped off their shoe.

Dont you get maternity benefits when you have a baby (bit out of touch now but I thought it was quite a substantial amount)

If you really wanted to help her you would try to a) get her to access real help and b) not feed her delusions of persecution

ahh but thats less appealing than hugs and hugs and ooh poor you isnt it

So much drama in one persons life?

It does happen Sara, you of all people should know.

A lot of the stuff she has posted just CANNOT be true. Fair enough there are some officious individuals out there, but not every single individual she has dealings with can be so unhelpful, unkind and tell barefaced lies! Despite being told over several months which organisations to contact, she has not even managed an appointment at the CAB - they told her to come back next month as they were busy....

As ShirleyKnot quite rightly says, other posters with similar issues could be scared half to death by the stuff she is recounting as fact. I hope that having her DH back with her will give her the support she needs to get this sorted out.

And Minus is an educated, professional woman too, remember - not a 17yo new mum with not a clue of how the world works.

If the OP is mrsxstitch then I am inclined to think that the bad time she had with her ex-husband, together with a pretty shitty court experience - even if you think some of it is exaggerated - are probably heavily colouring her dealings with anyone in authority, and possibly making her extremely wary of engaging with any sort of officials. I can quite believe that she is inclined to take "no" for a final answer and simply let it all get on top of her.

However, I quite agree that robust advice is probably what she needs and there has been some of that on this thread.

I don't believe that she is a troll - just someone who has had a shit time and isn't picking herself up from it terribly well.

Porto - I don't know how easy CAB appointments are to come by in your area, but the OP's area is better than mine if they ONLY have a month's wait for an appointment. In my area there is an 11 week waiting list for appointments at the CAB. So a 4-week wait is entirely possible, if the OP's local CAB is short of trained advisors.

Hunty - I would fully agree with you. But Op was advised 6 months ago to go to CAB and still doesn't have an appointment. In fact she hasn't tried to MAKE an appointment.

But Hunty if you ring up CAB and get told there is a month waiting list, and therefore don't make an appointment but wait another month until the next crisis and then ring CAB, and unsurprisingly there is still a month wait - surely it then makes sense to make the appointment? On the basis that if you had made one when you initially phoned you would now have been seen?

The OP seems unable, and also unwilling to take any advice. Much preferable to moan and wail and have people be sympathetic and agree that yes, she is a victim, poor her. All very well, but actually not helpful to the OP moving forward with her life.
From this thread alone we can gather that she has a DH who loves her, who has travelled for work - he has family who are supportive enough to offer him a place to live while he does that work. She has a mother who owns her own home, and who is happy for the OP and her family to live there. The OP is trained and can work although not just now due to pregnancy, but she has employment prospects for the future.

With all those positives, she needs to start sorting herself out.

Yes, Ali, I sort of agree - but having been in dire situations in the past myself - I know how easy it is to just give up hope, and think "Well, no-one wants to help me now when I need help, what's the point, no-one cares, I'm trying my best, but everything has gone to shit at once", and not be able to think clearly. Especially when one bad thing after another keeps happening.

I'm not saying that is the RIGHT way to be - just trying to explain how easy it is to give up when one thing after another batters you down every time you try to pick yourself up again. It's soul-destroying, disheartening, and downright depressing to be in this sort of a situation, and not everyone is strong enough to know how to deal with a whole heap of simultaenoues shite all at once!

Simultaneous!

Right proper adivce here. I do H&S and you cannot fit anything u der the boiler. This is major H&S issue and she should get sacked for suggesting that. Boiler needs the air circulation and I do not have to even say anything about the cot do I? Tomorrow ring your council and ask to speak totheir h&s manager and tell him what she said. Tell him you will take it further as she told you to put your own baby at risk.

• under sorry autocorrect