to be unsure where I stand on this

[two2blackcats]

Sorry, I have name changed "just in case."

I am very pro breastfeeding and am currently breastfeeding my five month old DD and hope to continue for a good while yet.

I work in a primary school (although I am currently on maternity leave) and there is a parent who when she drops off/collects her elder daughter who is in year 1 breastfeeds the younger child. The younger daughter isn't a baby or even a toddler but will be attending the reception class september 2012 so must be 3 or 4 years old.

AIBU in thinking it's perhaps a little unfair on the older child? I'm willing to be told if I am ...

Yes right You've namechanged because you know that this will lead to an almighty bunfight.

unfair how?

Why on earth would it be unfair??

feeds her at the school? every time she drops off and collects? that is weird, surely not needed and could wait until getting home.

YABU

SO should you only breastfeed your PFB as to BF any further children would be "unfair" to their sibling???

I'm not sure how it is unfair on the older one ?

Blah. Blah blah. Blah. Blah.

No-one cares. Stop judging other people.

No - unfair because I think it could potentially lead to quite a lot of bullying/name calling as feeding an older child isn't quite the same as feeding a baby and it isn't possible to be discrete, really. Sorry, I should have clarified what I meant there!

Not odd of her to be BFing a 3-4 year old, but a bit to be doing it at the school gates. Up to her though. Personally, I'd wait till I got home and could do it in peace. Wonder why she does it when and where she does...?

I agree sounds very strange, she bf in the playground ? Every drop off/pick up ?

I don't think YABU. As far as I see it you are not anti breast feeding long term. Why on earth would a three year old need a feed at that time of day? My 2 year old(not extended breast feeder btw) can hold off for a snack until we get home.

A three year old can wait, like any three year old. The fact that it's breast milk should make it any different to any other three year old being told to wait until they get home.

It's a shame that it could lead to bullying....but it might and that's the long and short of it. Saying that I am v pro breast feeding and kids get bullied for all things. I just, as a mother, would not provide ammo for it. I take my hat of to this mother for doing what she does. Breaking convention, doing it publicly to break taboo etc. Would I do it? No. But I am a gay mother, and I guess by wandering around with my partner, I am opening my DS and dd up to bullying.....so maybe now I have convinced myself YABU

Shouldn't. Not should

That's how I feel bananamam -part of me thinks that it isn't wrong to be doing what she is doing so why should she stop because of other people's stupid prejudices. But kids can be so bloody nasty - I just don't know.

It is really hard, because as you rightly say all sorts of stupid things can mean children are targets for bullying but then I don't know if I'd actually hand over something like this on a plate either. Difficult one.

I wonder why she needs to bf every time. I am still bfing my 2 year old and it's just morning and night. Maybe they aren't up in time to have a long bf in the morning and this child is promised a 'top up' just to get them out the house. I can see why you think this might be a problem for the eldest child, but really I think it's only the other parents/staff who will find it weird. Although, kids may pick up on the general 'ooh that's a bit weird'ness of it. I agree though, hats off to the mum. I won't feed in public anymore.

YABVU
You are obviously not 'very pro breastfeeding' if this is your attitude.
Maybe you ought to look at this from another perspective?

"Maybe you ought to look at this from another perspective?"

Lol, why do you think I asked about it on here?

Op this thread might give you another perspective.

Was that to the OP, ladyintheradiator? Possibly a bit harsh? She does say she's willing to be told if she is being unreasonable. Not sure 'oh fuck off' is the most eloquent response

I really hate it when people say kids can be nasty. Not if they are told how to behave.

It isn't any of your business though, is it?

What an odd thing to feel you have to have an opinion on.

Anyway, whilst I wouldn't bat an eyelid personally I don't know whether the child needs a feed at that time, none of us do. Perhaps she is on her way to/from nursery or whatever and that timing works best?

Why would it be unfair on the other child?

Perhaps her other child has additional needs and requires an extra feed. Maybe she doesn't have time during the rest of the day and thinks while shes waiting at the school gates she may as kill two birds with one stone, perhaps she is trying to show that it is natural and encourage other mums to do the same, perhaps the other child has been at nursery all day and she uses it to reconnect with her.

Why don't you ask her? You could say that you are feeding your own child and finding it difficult, to open up the non-judgy conversation.

So is this mum sitting inside the school while she bfs? I'm trying to see the picture here, if you are on mat leave, how are you able to know what is happening at school? Maybe she's on her way somewhere with this younger child so she does a feed when she gets 5 min after the initial morning rush? Maybe she is no longer bfing as her child has grown out of it and if you have been on mat leave for the usual amount of time you won't have seen her for ages.

IMO it's a bit of a stretch to think that some very young children might bully another very young child about something that they can't possibly understand and which might be, to a bunch of uneducated sticky beak parents slightly unusual. .