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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To "do" my hair every day?

63 replies

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 20/11/2011 12:42

Because my friend thinks so...in fact she said "You can't be in a very relaxed relationship with your Dh if you feel you need to look your best ALL the time"

I do my hair daily because it's like a large and luxurious hedge otherwise...it has to be tamed and "done" with hairspray etc or it looks awful and I feel like crap...it's not a coiffure or anything....it's just shoulder length with layers and I put it up or straighten it and have it down and it's certainly NOT "for" DH or anyone but myself. She thinks I do it to "impress" DH.

when I don't do it my mood seems to match the mass of mess on my head....anyway..my friend thought that she should point out to me that i am too concerned with looks and that I should go around with no makeup on and not do my hair for a few days....so that I can "be myself" more. AIBU to think that my hair is none of her business? Do you do your hair daily?

OP posts:

FunnysInTheGarden · 20/11/2011 12:45

YANBU. I do my hair every day, and would never go out of the house without sorting it out first. In fact I'd sooner go out without makeup than without doing my hair. I straighten every day and then style etc. You friend sounds a tad insecure to me. DH and I have been together for 24 years, and we both expect each other to make an effort.

gamerwidow · 20/11/2011 12:46

I don't do my hair daily because sometimes like today I have a lazy day where I just stick it in a ponytail and don't bother with makeup. If I'm going to be leaving the house though I'll always do something with it and put a bit of makeup on.

I don't think you can make assumptions on someone's relationship based on the status of their hairdo though.

TooEasilyTempted · 20/11/2011 12:49

YANBU. I wash and blow dry my hair daily (it's fine and greasy) and wear full make up all day. I do it for me. I feel awful and find myself avoiding conversation or even eye contact if my hair and makeup isn't done.

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 20/11/2011 12:50

YANBU. I don't, I embrace the hedge look. But I wear make-up every day, it gives me confidence and makes me feel good. It's not to impress anyone.

ISayHolmes · 20/11/2011 12:52

I don't feel "right" unless I've done my hair and a bit of make up. I have very wild hair and pale blotchy skin and doing a bit to sort them out makes me feel more confident and able to get on with things. It's nothing to do with pleasing my partner. She's being a bit silly.

Flanelle · 20/11/2011 12:54

I have a vast hedge too, and embrace it. And very seldom wear makeup. And I'd like not to be judged on that - either positively or negatively. As you would too, about your daily routines I am sure. And quite right.

LydiaWickham · 20/11/2011 12:55

I don't do my hair every day, but do for every work day. And if I'm going to be seeing people. It's certainly not for DH's benefit, but looking at this another way, what's wrong with wanting to look good for your partner rather than for the rest of the world?

I do think it's a pity that when I went from dating DH to living with him, instead of making an effort because I was seeing him, if I was just seeing him I was looking my most rough, but if I was seeing other people, (who I care less about) I'd put effort in to look good.

Your friend obviously feels self concious about her less than glam appearance and rather that changing that, she's making you feel bad about putting more effort in that she can be arsed with.

LydiaWickham · 20/11/2011 12:56

oh, and I don't leave the house without at least a bit of make up on, I could give small children nightmares otherwise...

cjbartlett · 20/11/2011 12:58

If I'm staying in all day I don't do hair or makeup

Hardgoing · 20/11/2011 13:00

I wear make-up and do my hair every day of the week when facing the outside world. On Sundays, I look truly terrible, let my hair hang down, don't wear make-up, and often stay in my pj's. It's my favourite day of the week! I do feel I can relax around my husband, and he has the rest of the week to appreciate how nice I normally look!

Wordsonapage · 20/11/2011 13:02

Your friend sounds a bit jealous tbh.

i'm pretty low maintenance ( minimal to no make up dependant on the Dubai heat) but I make a bit of an effort to look groomed everyday, I've ne er understood why it's so difficult to run a com through your hair or change a soiled top( yy baby sick mothers I'm talking about you my ds had reflux and I went through about 5 tops a day)

TestAnswers · 20/11/2011 13:03

YANBU

You clearly enjoy the rewards of doing your hair to the extent that you can be bothered to do it each day. Quite frankly, I'm impressed. I would argue that you are 'being yourself'. I wouldn't be being myself if I did that but that is 'me'. Your friend is being ridiculous if this is an unprompted comment - i.e. you haven't been moaning to her about the amount of times it takes and how you hate doing it etc.

AnnoyingOrange · 20/11/2011 13:10

I haven't done mine today, nor put on makeup. I am doing housework. I have to be groomed for work, but at other times I like to not bother for a change

Choufleur · 20/11/2011 13:13

I do my hair everyday - wash and blow dry it - or else it looks like a greasy hedge.

jenfraggle · 20/11/2011 13:25

I never wear makeup, really can't be doing with all that nonsense. I brush my hair daily and wash it twice a week. Washing your hair daily just makes it greasy, it's really bad for your hair. 3 times a week is the maximum you should wash it. I let my hair dry naturally, only blow dry it if I've washed it in the evening.

marriedinwhite · 20/11/2011 13:33

I shower and blow dry my hair in the evenings when I get home from work. Hair lasts for the following day and it saves time in the mornings. Wear make-up and perfume every day: foundation, powder, blusher, mascara, lipstick. I also "do" my nails every Sunday evening. Perhaps I should put on fresh make-up for DH in the evenings?

I like looking nice and being neat and tidy. Have my hair cut every six weeks and a half head of high/low lights every 12 weeks.

Slightlyreluctantexpat · 20/11/2011 13:35

I think like your friend, and I wear no makeup and just let my short hair dry naturally.

I'm not sure why your friend felt the need to comment on your regime though.

Each to his own, and all. :)

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 20/11/2011 13:37

Jen - my hair is long, shiney & healthy. My hairdressers always goes silly over it because she wants her hair long and it just wont grow. I wash it daily - at least once, sometimes twice. I was the rest of my body, why would I not wash my scalp & hair? I don't know why people insist that something is 'bad for you' when it's clearly not for everyone??

I can't remember the last time I wore makeup though no, no idea. Probably the last time I went to a wedding

FunnysInTheGarden · 20/11/2011 13:42

in fact married you have just reminded me that I must do my nails!

jenfraggle · 20/11/2011 13:49

My friend is a hairdresser, they were told in their training about washing too often being bad for you hair as it strips out the natural oils and encourages extra production which leads to greasy hair.

spudinvasion · 20/11/2011 13:51

I do mine every day because I've got a double crown and sleeping causes 2 large craters in the back of my hair!!!

I'm like you though OP - I don't do it to impress my DH and I'm certain he doesn't "expect" me to keep my hair nice for him.

I was shopping with a firend recently and looking at hair colour. I mentioned that DH prefers my hair lighter than I have it and she was horrified that I still went ahead and got the darker shade. He prefers it lighter, he doesn't demand it!

Hardgoing · 20/11/2011 13:52

And your friend's comment is snide and not said out of genuine concern for your relationship but to score points.

Hardgoing · 20/11/2011 13:53

I don't care if washing frequently strips out the oils, if you don't wash it, it looks greasy anyway, so I'd prefer to have lovely shiny hair everyday and get nice comments about it (which I do).

Trills · 20/11/2011 14:00

YANBU

Your friend is strange to feel that you can't "be yourself" if you have done more than a certain level of grooming.

oldraver · 20/11/2011 14:06

I dont 'do' mine everday or anyday come to it beyond washing, a quick towel dry and a quick run through of my fingers. So ong as it feels clean to me I'm not too worried about anything else.

It doesnt bother me if others want to spend time doing their hair, so long a sit makes them happy. apart form my DB's gf who spends an hour and a half on her hair every morning even on holiday and keeps everyone waiting for her

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