to bust her in a Facebook message?

[Definitelybeautiful]

One of the staff I line manage is off sick today - she called in last night. I don't work Friday mornings and am home and have just noticed that she is all over Facebook - uploading photos and commenting etc (we are friends on Facebook - she sent the request).

1. AIBU to think this is not ok and she can't be that sick if she has FB time? (we are teachers - people are having to cover her classes)
2. AIBU to send her a message along the lines of 'I hope you feel better soon - I love the photos you are uploading'?

She is on facebook!!! , I thought you were going to say she had posted a status update saying she was on an all day bender or something! You need to chill out, what do you mean 'bust her'? She's doing nothing wrong. She is probably lying on her sofa or in bed feeling rotten, would you want to 'bust her' if she was reading a book? Bloody hell, who do you think you are? You sound horrible. If I was her I'd de-friend you pronto. You're hardly much of a friend.

sorry clicked post message twice, must be my illness affecting me.

She could still be sick and using Facebook. .

I was going to add I often use Facebook and check emails on my iPod while I'm laying in bed. She isn't off out anywhere and it might be an illness where it would be better to stay hone.

I'm on ABs and have been ordered by doc to stay indoors and rest for a nasty throat and chest infection. I can barely speak so if I was a teacher there's no way I'd be going to work in this state, yet i'm capable of using the internet.

It sounds like you have my mothers attitude towards illness: 'If you're well enough to do anything other than lie horizontally in bed and groan, then you should be working/at school'... no middle ground was accepted!

I see she is a teacher. DD1 is a teacher she went into school when she wasn't feeling well but was sent home again.

She can comment/upload photos and not send in cover plans? I'd be concentrating on that if you do say something to her (obv not on FB).

Migraine is very very different for different people!! I get them in different sorts, and only with one sort would I not be able to look at a computer screen. Other times I might be in pain, or feeling quite sick, or all sorts of other things, but I might be able to have a laptop to distract me if I couldn't sleep. Other times the visual part of the migraine might be over in an hour, leaving me feeling very woozy and strange afterwards, maybe not able to talk properly, but able to do things on a computer. There are a lot of different migraine symptoms, and it's too simplistic to say that if you can be on the computer, you haven't got a migraine. (of course, she might be exaggerating, too!). When I'm ill and alone, it often feels really really isolating and miserable, and I'll be desperate for contact with people, even if it's just someone to say 'poor you'. I'd do whatever I could to connect with someone, and for me that's most likely to be facebook (as I don't have any friends I could phone, or family nearby or anything).

I'd take a screen shot and then do her return to work interview to find out exactly what was wrong with her. If she still says flu-symptoms (that'll be a temperature too then or is definitely not flu) and a migraine I'd ask her to explain the Facebooking. Depending what she says I might refer her for disciplinary action or further investigation or leave it. I would not do any investigation or disciplinary myself because I would be the witness and I'd want an independent decision.

just because she's on facebook dosen't mean she is having a good time most of us dont lie down when were ill.

I used to teach, and the expected process if we were off sick was to set cover work, in as much detail as possible, if we were capable of doing so. And to be honest, if she's capable of going on FB, she ought to be able to knock up a quick email with a line about what each class could do - the time-consuming bit when you're in school setting cover work for an absent colleague is finding the class books, working out where they are up to, etc.

I fully appreciate the awfulness of migraines- I have had migraines during which any exposure to light has left me nauseous and in pain. But I do think that when you have one you can either look at a screen or not.

But the bottom line is that if it needs dealing with, do so at work.

woolly so much...

It's unprofessional to be on fb when you're off sick, self certified imho. I think for me though the main issue would be not setting cover. She's not signed off by a doc or in hospital so it would be her responsibility for setting cover for her classes. And yes, it's shit when you're ill and you have to get up and set cover before 8am but it's part of the job and you know that when you get into it.

As a department we used to have emergency cover lessons that could be used if there was no cover work/ if the network went down. Perhaps setting up a bank of these types of lessons could be part of your colleague's job when she's well enough to come back in.

How disappointing, i thought she might have been uploading pics of an outrageous bender last night..whilst being off sick today. YABU and joyless and nosy...

If she had a migraine there is no way she could be on the computer, she would have to be lying down in a darkened room. Really pisses me off people say they have a migraine you can't even see with migraine let alone up load pics to fb.

I would FB her and say glad to see your migraine is better, I have had them so bad I couldn't lift my head off the pillow. She will know she is stuffed.

I am a teacher and a couple of years ago my TA was ill quite a lot (not an ongoing illness, always something different and relatively minor) and then I would get home in the evening and see that she had been on facebook all day. I was always a bit (although never said anything), but not because I didnt think that she couldnt physically go on facebook. I just think that facebook is a public enterntainment site, and if I was at home sick knowing that even though it cant be helped it is a bit of a PITA for those at work, I wouldnt want to be flaunting the 'fun' I had been having on a public website. Its a token thing really isnt it, like even if you are ill and you can speak perfectly well, you always do the 'sick voice' dont you!

However, YABU as you do sound a bit unprofessional with being friends with herand talking about 'busting' her. I assume you are a HofD or a Key stage leader?

"If she had a migraine there is no way she could be on the computer, she would have to be lying down in a darkened room. Really pisses me off people say they have a migraine you can't even see with migraine let alone up load pics to fb."

Did you read some of the messages above? Migraine really is different for different people, and it does not always mean lying down in a darkened room, or not being able to get up. Mine often result in word-finding problems, or nausea, or various other symptoms, and not necessarily visual aspects for the whole time. Or it might be intense pain, but not always needing dark. Sometimes for me, the thing that helps most is just being very still. Sitting at a computer is ok, but moving my head, standing up, sitting down, even rolling over in bed, might not be. Migraine can cover a wide variety of experiences, and people who say that if it's not lying in a darkened room unable to get up, it's not migraine, are not understanding the full range. It makes me worried about telling people I have migraine, even when i am unable to do certain things, because it sounds like I'll never be believed.

samstown - I guess what I really feel is a bit that she would so openly be browsing FB and not providing cover. You are right, my OP sounded unprofessional - and I came across wrong, but I didn't come on a professional website - I came on a forum which lets face it is a place to rant.

Calma I am not joyless (honest!) - just got extra work on a Friday while she is FBing.

a teacher who's finished work already?

What exactly do you expect her to do OP ? Sit in her bed in sackcloth and ashes ?
She's probably on her laptop in bed, not out shopping FFS

To the posters who mentioned migraines - there are several different types of migraines.
Classic without aura, Classic with aura, Basilar Artery migraine, Hemiplegic Migraine, Ophthalmoplegic Migraine, Retinal Migraine, Basilar Artery Migraine, and Abdominal Migraine.
These all have different symptoms and don't necessarily mean that sitting in front of the computer would make it worse. I was in A&E with a basilar artery migraine the other day and was able to send a message on FB to my mum letting her know what was happening. (couldn't get her on the phone)
YABU to act as though there is only one type of migraine.
Could she not have been in bed, feeling really poorly but feeling bored? She could certainly access her phone lying down.
For her to be unable to access FB I would expect her to be having serious mental confusion issues and/or mobility problems, neither of which she has reported.
Give her a break.

YABU.I had a terrible head this morning and thought i was in for a migraine, but fortunately after my migraine tablets and a nap it passed.
Oh and I can see with a migraine just very very painful and feel sick.
In fact i am going to change it to YABVVU!

YABU for all the reasons already set out, especially that teaching is hopefully far more taxing than facebooking, but have been very magnanimous in your acceptance of the same

I think she is being unreasonable in not setting cover work. I would have to be very ill indeed not to do this!