to be peed off that people ask 'are you wanting a girl?' when I tell them I am PG after having 2 boys?

[ilikeyoursleeves]

I am only 7 weeks pregnant and have barely told anyone yet. But the three people I have told so far have all said 'are you wanting a girl this time?'. I have 2 DS's who are my utter world and I am so used to boys things that I would be really happy with a third DS. However, a wee girl would obviously be lovely too just to balance the family out a bit :o

I would be absolutely happy with either a boy or a girl, it just annoyed me that people assume that I would want a girl ie, be disappointed if I have another boy.

Should I expect this response from everyone?! AIBU to be annoyed?

I have 2 dc, one of each, did not find out the sex with either as wanted a surprise. I would have been equally happy to have a boy or a girl second time round, but was quite surprised by the number of people making comments like 'oh, you've completed the set.' Did not realise there was a 'set' to complete, but does seem people's idea of the perfect family is one of each. Also quite annoyed by the implied assumption made by lots of people (yes, mil, though she is lovely) that having one of each means we won't want any more - as someone else said I do not think desiring a particular number of dc's is anything to do with sex, more what shape of family you see yourself having. So do anticipate lots of confusion and 'but you already have one of each' comments if ever choose to get pregnant again...

But there are ways of talking to pregnant women that don't involve asking intrusive questions, aren't there?

"We'd have a load of sad pg women wondering why no one will feign interest in their pregnancies."

Open-ended questions are good. How are you feeling? How are you spending your time at the moment?

This gives the person the chance to choose what they talk about, rather than being cornered with a very specific question - "do you want a girl/boy, yes or no?"

Closed questions are not good as they require a yes/no reply to something the person may not wish to disclose.

(or not wish to discuss as it doesn't apply).

YAB a tiny bit U. But not a lot in my opinion as this sort of thing did bug me.

Like others have said, it's small talk but can be irritating. (Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way).

I had a girl (didn't ask the sex at scans so was a surprise). Then I conceived twins. Again, didn't ask the sexes at scans. I had 2 boys but I would have been equally overjoyed with 2 more girls.

I'm fed up of people asking me questions regarding sex, actually.
Because we didn't find out, mainly because we don't care which one we have, and actually, mostly because we don't want people enforcing gender-stereotypes on a baby before it's even born!
Even though they know we're waiting to find out when it's born, we still get comments like "oh, well, it's not too late to buy when it's born" We don't want to buy !!!
There was no such issue when we were both babies (and in fact, I was "a tomboy" and lived in trousers as a child), so why should my children (in this enlightened age) be subjected to stereotype just because of a penis or lack thereof?
[rant over]

Chandeleria "I think there is an assumption that men will be disappointed if they don't get a son (to play football with) and that women will be disappointed if they don't get a daughter (to dress in pretty things). Its bonkers."

exactly!
My comment to things like that is "do girls not play football then?" or "why would I want to dress a DD in pretty things? she's not a doll"

I am expecting DS2 and have had several people (including strangers) say "oh well, you can always have another one and try for a girl".

I feel like saying "yes, we are planning on abandoning this one on the hospital steps and getting cracking on that girl as soon as we get home."

NoSeriously :(
My big sis had a by after a girl, slightly bigger gap than yours though.
she found out at her scan and was really disappointed.
She did get used to it, though, and she's happy with the boy (even though for some reason she's fully embraced the stereotypes with him, but the girl still gets treated like a human being and not a gender)
that's one good thing about finding out at the scan - you've got time to get used to the idea.

pannda -

Yanbu. I had the same thing though other way round as I had two girls. Some people asked if we were disappointed when our beautiful and much wanted third daughter arrived! I know it's only small talk but it's still bloody annoying!

i think they ARE only trying to make conversation, but it is a bit rude when they imply you MUST be desperate for a girl. i have 4 boys and an 11mth old dd, it is lovely having a girl, just becasue i have gone slightly mad clothes shopping, not pink, just pretty things and tights and pinafores etc, but we went into preg no 5 EXPECTING another boy, and it was quite a shock to a get a girl! i am very glad i found out at the scan, we werent going to but the sonographer said 'i have a VERY clear veiw of the sex do you want to know' (i took that to mean BOY) and then dp said 'oh go on then' when she said girl i was like and didnt believe her, in the end after me saying 'you must be wrong for the hundreth time' the sonographer, said 'look i am NOT allowed to say i am 100% sure but i am 100% sure this baby is a girl' and i STILL paid privately for another scan and then the first things i said when she was born, were 'is it ok? is it REALLY a girl'

YANBU!

I have 3 boys. When se tried for a 3rd I knew that drastically it was more likely to be another boy, at 39 I was just happy to have conceived so easily. A girl would have been nice but at the 20 week scan when I found out it was boy %23 3 I was so happy to have the sonographer say everything looked fine I was over the moon.

My 3 boys are so unique and wonderful, I wouldn't have it Ny other way. Now I get 'are you going to keep trying?' - erm, no! I wanted 3 children and that's what we have.

Congratulations!

Argh! iPhone changed statistically to drastically!