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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Surestart centre giving whole grapes to babies and toddlers

161 replies

delicioso · 17/11/2011 17:44

I've been to my local surestart centre a few times and they often have a snack table.

Sometimes there's a formal snack time and other times the table is just left ouf for children to help themselves.

They often serve whole grapes as a snack - I know they maybe don't have time to cut the grapes up but I have a friend who is a paediatric nurse and has seen more than one fatality in children who have choked on grapes Sad

I'm probably going to be told IABU because it's the parents responsibility to cut them up. I do bite them half for my 15 month old, but today as I was sitting with her distracted talking to someone the surestart lady held out the bowl of grapes to her and she took one and started eating it and I had to fish it out of her mouth.

Lots of the parents don't sit up with the children at snack time and I guess I just think it's a bit dangerous if one of the little ones chokes on one. I just wonder why they don't serve something else instead if they aren't going to cut up the grapes.

OP posts:
Feminine · 17/11/2011 18:50

I am sorry OP that you have been given such a hard time.

I think its only natural your tone was eventually a bit pissed off.

Anyway...they should know about cutting the grapes -tell them again.

And ...if you see the need, inform anyone higher up.

SoupDragon · 17/11/2011 19:06

the OP got a hard time because she was rude to anyone who didn't gasp in horror and encourage her to write to her MP.

Feminine · 17/11/2011 19:14

Did she suggest her MP?

I don't understand why it such a shock (to some posters) that a whole grape is really not that cool around little ones...

Oh well.

Fayrazzled · 17/11/2011 19:15

The OP has ignored several posters, such as myself, who calmly suggested the best way of dealing with this issue is to speak directly to the appropriate person at the centre. The OP didn't do this- she merely remarked that she likes to cut her own child's grapes up. This is not the same thing as saying, "By the way, did you know whole grapes are a choking hazard, I think they should be cut up if you offer them". If this is ignored, then she should report it to the manager.

The OP seems incredulous at the audacity/stupidity of the centre in offering whole grapes but discussing it on Mumsnet is not going to solve the issue. That can only be done by talking with the people there. It's like people who foam at the mouth about a poor experience in a shop or restaurant and complain afterwards but don't give anyone at the time the chance to rectify the situation.

nailak · 17/11/2011 19:19

I don't get it, why are grapes more dangerous then Apple slices etc? Personally I don't cut apples, bananas, grapes before giving my kids, and I wouldn't expect others to.

Should we also stop serving meatballs?

nailak · 17/11/2011 19:21

Oh I read the article, I don't cut Frankfurters either

Fayrazzled · 17/11/2011 19:23

Nailak, it's to do with the size of grapes and the texture of the skin which apparently makes them more likely to be a choking hazard than other fruits. I'm no expert, but I do know our pre-school asks parents to cut them up if sending grapes in as part of a lunch bag and they cut them up if serving them at snack-time.

Feminine · 17/11/2011 19:24

maybe I missed that Fay I see what you are saying.

nailak please read the links.

meatballs Confused anything can be a chocking hazard but,as parents/ caregivers we need to try and cut down potential problems don't we?

fannybanjo · 17/11/2011 19:24

IS it wrong to have laughed out loud at valium's response?! OP, this is a case of what's the point in mentioning on MN then being sarcastic with reasonable responses, if you feel so strongly about it then you MUST contact Surestart in your area or email them with your concerns.

Feminine · 17/11/2011 19:26

Or maybe she just should have posted in a different section...there will always be piss-takers in this playpen. Wink

lisad123 · 17/11/2011 19:28

grapes are one of the worse as they slide down so easily, or the perfect size to block an airway and are fatter in the middle, which is where they get stuck :(

I find your meatball comment quite rude tbh, some poor little girl lost her life and you think its fun to make a joke of it!!

itspeanutbutterjellytime · 17/11/2011 19:31

Are you for real OP?!

The snacks at Sure Start centres are FREE you ungrateful so and so! Who cares how they're served?! Being as you are supposed to be there to supervise, and it's not free childcare, you should be able to intervene should your child get into difficulty or you don't think it's safe to eat.

Have you heard of a newspaper entitled 'The Daily Mail'? I think you might enjoy it.

lisad123 · 17/11/2011 19:33

they arent free here, you pay to attend groups!

Tianc · 17/11/2011 19:35

The reason you missed it, Feminine, is because it didn't happen.

The OP responded to several posters suggesting talking to the appropriate person at the centre, by asking calmly, twice, whether given there were many centres she might do more good by talking centrally to the council.

It's true she didn't respond to Fayrazzle's individual post, but Fay was the nth person to say the same thing and the discussion had already moved on. After a torrent of sarcasm and mockery. To which OP eventually responded in kind.

skintymcskinterson · 17/11/2011 19:36

OP is this a box ticking exercise? Would you like us to all say what you want us to?

itspeanutbutterjellytime · 17/11/2011 19:37

You must have a posh surestart centre lisa all our groups here are free apart from the swimming.

They're not obliged to provide a snack, and if you don't let your kids have non cut up grapes at home then you should be supervising them well enough to not let them have grapes at a public group.

lisad123 · 17/11/2011 19:40

nope not posh, we have to pay 50p-£1 per session and holiday sessions are up to £2. Not a lot of money but certainly enough to buy good fruit.

itspeanutbutterjellytime · 17/11/2011 19:43

Regardless, you'd pay more (FAR more) for a soft play session and you wouldn't expect staff to show up with a free, healthy snack.

gordyslovesheep · 17/11/2011 19:44

read the whole thing - the OP was very rude - so meh - she gave it and got it back - she'll live

maybe actually saying something TO THEM (not the passive agressive 'well I cut MY childs up) but an actual assertive, positive comment to the staff would be better than being arsey on MN

failing that - start an online pertition :)

JackiePaper · 17/11/2011 19:57

YANBU it only takes a second for someone to turn their back and a child to pop a grape in it's mouth and choke.
I have a friend who is a paramedic and he was called out recently to a 20month old chocking on a grape, who unfortunately died. :(
If it were me I would say to whoever is running the group that grapes are a choking hazard for small children and it's a good idea to cut them up.

noyouhavehadawee · 17/11/2011 20:01

I work in one, we run a breastfeeding group and we were going to stop having fruit at it due to funding but through buying cheap fruit have managed to keep it on by making cheaper fruit choices and it all goes. I always get grapes and never cut them up, i dont have time due to cut backs n all. So now i have this enormous worry on my mind even though its mostly mums and tiny babies occasionally toddlers do come along. I oculdnt live with this on my conscience should they choke so as of next week it will be over ripened bananas requiring no prep or nothing. I am glad i opened this but you really need to raise your concerns to the group keader who can fully risk assess the removal of grapes.

RomanKindle · 17/11/2011 20:03

I think YABU. I would just continue biting them in half. Some parents with older toddlers will be less bothered. You shouldn't have let your child get hold of a full one imo. There are lots of choking hazards at toddler groups - pen lids, playdoh etc - you have to be vigilent with little ones at all times.

Fayrazzled · 17/11/2011 20:06

Tianc the OP may have responded twice about there being several centres but she was ignoring the advice people gave. I don't know how she has so much direct experience of the multitude of other centres, but assuming she has, I still maintain that rather than speaking with someone at the council, the best and most conducive approach to quick action is talking with someone at the centre. And if there really is an issue across all the centres, then perhaps the manager could let the other managers know.

Is it really that hard? Do we have to involve the 'state' in everything? Can we not just have simple conversations as adults to resolve issues?

Fayrazzled · 17/11/2011 20:09

And given noyouhavehadawee's response, I think the most likely upshot of all this is the centre will stop serving grapes at all. Which is a shame perhaps for parents who wouldn't otherwise be able to afford them.

SomethingSuitablyWitty · 17/11/2011 20:10

Good Grief, are those grapes paid for ?!

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